Winds of Apology

Neither words nor emotions, well it is in mind.
Wise for not as words are weapon, guilt as it shall.
Blame for not yet the burden in Me, for I have the will to carry them.
A man climbs in Search for It, yet Pack I have to bear my guilt.
Forgive not yet Apology is what shall be.
Hesitate not for I have a heart, innocence right Between.
Time essence of All in presents of the Sun.
Flight's taken it all where Height is a Miracle.
Sorry Sorry for all it is, fear not for words of Choice is sincerity.
Apart of the Heart and the World, yet the Moon and Sun live where they Are.
Hurt not for Will, Wise is for all that Comes.
Better Days of Better time, yet Wise of the wind carries all Has it.

By Jack Ho

On Second Thought

Perhaps, people do have their own intentions and motive after all when they do something on purpose by causing effects to others, and not knowing the consequences. When many of us do something, we are often driven by our desires and goals so as to achieve them. It is important to achieve what we want in life, but it is also important to think them over and over again before a decision is made. But to be honest, there are many people who do things without thinking it twice or have a calculative measure.

In order to think wisely, and have calculative measures as these are the essential steps to be taken as to have a successful achievement without feeling devastated once it is failed. Calculative measurements are often used to foresee or forecast the consequences of your desires or goals, as they are able to obtain calculative risk and measurement of obstacles to be encountered. When measures of risks are taken and calculated, one is able to prepare itself for the danger to come as not to blame others for the outcome which might even his or her own life. This measure is also to prove us as a warning as, a fear factor perhaps, to warn us the danger that it has and the level and intensity of the risk. Besides, these measurements are often well practiced in modern day’s business industry as well. When a work is being carried out, it is expected to be productive as to allow the company to generate more revenue. So in order to have revenue, it is wise that calculative measurements of risk, succession of the work, and productivity, as this will enable the company to foresee the outcome of the work. Hence, these people are capable of making their decision and even to provide alternative solution to have a better work productivity in order to have safe and productive revenue.

Since this practice is well practiced by many, it can also be applied into our daily life as well. The environments around us are filled with risk factors, as many hazards are surrounding us. Even just a simple rock can cause somebody to fall or hit by it when kids play around with it. Thus, it is very important to bear in mind that safety is an important issue to be well practice and remember for always! When we set ourselves a target, it is wise indeed to know the outcome of it, calculate what will be encountered and what the obstacles will be and their level of intensity. These measurements do not just let you think twice about what you’re gonna do, but it also allows you to be acknowledge and learn what is more to life. Even if you’re a risk-taker you would what your chances of hit a block is most likely to be, but then since you already knew what you’re gonna hit and you eventually be prepared for it to deal with it. Our instinct is filled with defense mechanisms as it is to protect ourselves from being harmed, even if the protection is only 1% yet it still helps. By any means, no matter how tough or how smart you think you are, many things will still have its own risk and consequences to come. To understand what you will encounter is not enough, but it is even more important to understand and re-consider the consequences because sometimes it could be a life and death situation.

The moment when I took up triathlon, I knew the risk I have to encounter and experience through this journey. The risk is high indeed in triathlon, because many factors are included such as injury, accidents, and even heart attack, so even though I’m able to foresee these calculated risks are high yet the consequences are even more higher because when safety measurements are not taken into account then it is most potentially I would end up dead. That is why alternative solutions are always being taken into when it comes to planning because they provide a safer way in approaching goals or targets. It is not necessary just to have one solution and assume that is the only way, because things work in many ways and it is up to our own intelligence to dominate these problems, as if there is a problem then there is a solution to the matter. That is why we have the word “Solution” exist in this world, so it is very wise not to ignore when people are kind enough to offer advices or comments because you won’t know if it’s gonna safe your life. Limitations of your mind does not bring you the achievement and goals that you desire, it is only what you seek with unlimited power to determine your goal.

On second thought, when we are ought to do something we dream of, desire, or goals that we wanna achieve yet we are to look at them carefully. There is no point rushing or hurrying for nothing can be superbly mastered over a night as it takes time. Time is the essence of mankind’s succession, where as one can be patiently enough to reach its goals. Think twice or thrice or more just to make sure you’re ready to face the challenges to come, for it is not for you to give up on what you want and wish. Wise decision is the key to a better life, yet a wise thought is a key to a better tomorrow.

By Jack Ho

Beautiful Diana

A beauty she is, with a gentle smile of heart warming tenderness.
Polite as she is, with a cheerful heart within that grows into a garden of Beauty she has.
As what a fairy tale would say, Angel has fallen from the Sky and brought a loving smile to the world.
Yet, the soft and gentle touch of an Angel brings joy and tender happiness to world of darkness.
Light it has, bright as it is with that beauty of Diana.
Soft spoken voice of hers is heard miles away, the melody spoke of its beauty.
A voice within tells the beauty has she, gently it blows away the dark clouds to bring sunshine.
The bright shiny eyes of hers give away hopes and faith, as beautiful as she is the sight is mesmerizing.
For soft and gentle beauty she has, indeed Beautiful Diana she is.

By Jack Ho
Dedicated to Diana

Blood Diamonds of Tears

Diamonds, sparkling and shiny they are. The beauty of a diamond represents luxury and nature of its kind. Many has the love of diamonds for it is hard to find and obtain, precious they are. The rich has no problem affording diamonds, yet the poor can only dream of it.

Yet, while many enjoy the luxury companionship of a diamond, yet many tears and blood suffer for a diamond. Diamonds provide the solutions of money in Africa, as to invest what they need for war. The human greed and desire of wealth have been dwelled in the hearts of the evil ones for long, where as humanity does not longer exist in their vocabulary. The determination for a success has become an obsession, and insanity that fills their minds.

Harms they have, many lives were taken. Every child, father and mother’s lives were spared for diamonds. For they are sacrifices, that made to be said for their country, yet it is for their own wealth and greed of obsession. People, innocent people had no directions, nowhere to run; for the sake of survival they have no options but to shed more blood for diamonds. The dime that makes money, for money is just notes to communicate for survival.

Lives were threaten and brought to devastation, while diamonds are enjoyed by many. Look how far has humanity gone where leaders pursue peace and freedom for their people, yet the real scenario is an intertwined of those words. Words that have no meaning at all, empty they are. So as they are, mistakes of human desires and not the diamonds.

Hence, diamonds beautiful they are. Perhaps, the next time when you see a diamond then it would be even wiser of picturing what have been encountered in order to have a beautiful dime.

By Jack Ho

So in Love

Love, fallen I have into a well of water.
When the Sun shines above, never enough it seems for Days to end.
Yet Love of a heart flow along in the wind, felt by the world.
She for Love that I have in the heart, when the Moon rise then the night is cold.
A beautiful heart dream comes as it, for I am not blinded to seen have.

On top of the world perhaps is what it feels, when glorious Love is sung with joy.
In my warmth Loving hug shall She be, as a precious diamond kept well kept is.
Thundering storms roams the Earth, neither all could tear Love apart.
Separation neither both faces when the Heart one become has.
True Love or Love, where Love is in Love.

By Jack Ho

Faith of Sakura

Faith of Sakura for eternity, by seasons it beautifully bloomed.
Petals of tears flow in the river of blood, yet beautiful it is Sakura.
The pasture is not only greener, but generally filled with blooming beauty of Sakura.
Love of Sakura by many it has, Samurai stand in the middle of Sakura by Faith.
Peace and Eternity shall be it, as there is not beauty wonderful as Sakura.

By Jack Ho

Sex Bites

Sex, as we all know, is the mating in order to produce more. But Sex is known to be more than just that these days, as we crave for pleasure, fun, and excitement. Thus, in most or all relationships sex has been a mean of communication of lovers through body contact, as the body speaks for itself. The body speaks in many forms of language as one can suppose, yet I would not go deeper in it as I assume most people know their own body very well. Hence, sex is also a bonus in a relationship to go further into the affection of love. Yet, when sex occurs in relationship it has been taken as a tool to control the relationship as well. Surprisingly, not many people are aware of this manner as life after sex has a change and that bites the relationship.

When a guy and a girl meets, I would refer to those with "Love at first sight" cases and those who feel the chemistry after a long friendship, they are often the couples that are very dramatic as they would often face many problems that leads to a downturn of the relationship. So at first stage, when the couples are newly together into a relationship hence many things would seem to be a happy-go-lucky type and very tolerance most of all. Both, guys and girls, are very tolerate when they just got together. But as the journey goes on for long, they will still be tolerance at some point because the understanding between each are well gave in by both. But of course, Sex known as the bonus, would often come after one month of the relationship and mostly 4 months because girls love to play hard to get! Then, some couples are even faster because of the desperation then they can hit off instantly, but that’s usually the kind that walks away the next day because guys love to play one-night-stand so girls are often cheated.

Now, stage two is where it all begins the moment sex is taken into account. As mentioned, during the process of sexual intercourse the body speaks in many different types of form of language, some are cool and some are not. In fact, when sex speaks it literally allow most females to express their aggressions, weaknesses, anger, frustrations, and most the originality of themselves. That is why guys can be quite choosy when it comes to have sex with the right partner because it is not just the orgasm that a guy would want, but in actual fact it is how the body speaks. Yet, of course, many guys do not seem to see or take sex as a form of communication because they are blinded by their desperation of enjoying pleasure. Sex is only pleasurable when it is done with Love and Affection, because these 2 elements are the core recipe for a pleasurable and unforgettable sex because the body that speaks is exceptional in a way that they express the art of love and sex in definition in a relationship. Thus, sex is often only a game to be played because it is in men’s recognition of having and unleash their desperation which are why they often leads to many failures of relationship. Besides, as we all know most females have hormones problems because their hormones are the rulers of all. Women are driven by their hormones to do many things, sometimes they are driven with anger and desperation in sex. So it is not very often that all females would enjoy sex because it has to depend on their mood (So guys, respect your ladies!), as they are times where everyone would feel tired. Thus, sex is not something that can be enjoyed when the time is not right because there are times for everything. Now, when a couple first encounter their very first sexual intercourse they would often learn many things from their partners because it is the very moment that they unleash the truth within themselves as in their personality and attitude. Again, some are aggressive, weak, and angry, as that is why some sex becomes quite hardcore at some point. A guy is able to see how good he is capable of satisfy his girl up to the point when the girl is able to show her orgasm to the highest climax, and also able her to express herself through sex by showing her sexuality as to satisfy her man as well. Then, from there you will be able to tell who will be in the control of the relationship in the further state. This is because when one partner, either the guy or the girl, has greater satisfaction capability then the other half would often crave and hungry for it. Thus, this would lead to a situation where one is in control by another because there is something that he or she demands and he or she desires. So one will definitely lose control somehow because one is able to give the satisfaction and one is able to take it in as a greater satisfaction has been shown. It is about how sexy or exotic looking each partner can be because great looking people don’t mean they are great sex partners, as some of them might even be a coward or not knowing what to do in sex.

So, the aftermath of a sexual intercourse would result in an imbalance situation of the relationship. Then, this is the moment where many problems can be occurred, such as either one partner is not very happy, or one is very obsessive or possessive, and one may be very reluctant and not giving in, one may be very stuck up and selfish, etc. These are the problems that lead to a down fall of a relationship after sex, because the sexual relationship is not being well taken care of after all. There are girls who feel depress and sad that their boyfriends do not bother much about them as before the sexual relationship starts, then some guys might even feel degraded by their girlfriends because of the insecurity given in the sexual relationship. Gradually, things do change in certain ways after a sexual relationship because two relationships are involved to be one. Sexual relationship and Partners’ relationship because these are the time when both have to compromise and appreciate each other. If either one does not compromise or appreciate each other, then the equation of the relationship would just fall apart and result even more problems to encounter. So, in order to have everything back to a constant pace of a good relationship, it is important for both partners to understand each other as well. Very caring and understand, it is often of the best ways to re-correct or re-divert a relationship to a better stage. Even though some relationships may be in stake as one might be giving up and one is not giving up, time is always the healing power to all. Some guys or girls may think their partners can’t live without them, but in actual fact this a very incorrect thought because you are losing each other even more. That is some guys or girls may think they are really good rocking on the bed, but actually somebody out there is even greater than what you think you are because the world is big and they’re tons of people out there with great personality as well. Then, some couples do not realize how precious their love ones are not until the moment they lose them. By that time, perhaps desperation is even more and more often it comes to an obsessive state where one can be very devastated after all. The reasons why guys or girls would cheat on their love ones is often the question and answer of sexual capability; some may say size is a problem or figure is a problem but the actual and real problem is themselves. As mentioned, sex is a form of communication through the body, but the reason why these people remain unsatisfied is because of they do not appreciate what they have and unable to express their own true self through sex even though they are good but the chemistry of that sexual bond is just not there when one does not imply Love and Affection into the sexual relationship, as it only satisfaction of orgasm and ejaculation that they are looking for. Thus, if you think you are a great sex partner but in actual fact there is a down turn in your relationship, perhaps you should start looking into it because the problem is actually within yourself.

Sex is not just a game to be played because it is an art of the body language. Proper sex would often last a relationship because of the dignity and respect of sex is well kept throughout the relationship. It doesn’t matter how the body figure is, but if one is capable of having passionate love and affection then a sexual intercourse could go far beyond the heavenly emotion. Pay your partner with respect and integrity, appreciate them because the love you have for each other doesn’t come without compromises. The nature of love is adoring and affection for the heart. Hence, have sex in a proper manner or else just don’t do it for God’s sake!

“Yea, I completely agree with you. You know, an art teacher of mine once said. Never buy a piece of art that you don't have to have. You know, don't worry about who the artist is or how much it's worth. I mean, you have to live with it everyday. You have to walk by it everyday. You have to really love it; you have to really appreciate it. It's kind of like picking a mate.” – Brooke Meyers, The Break Up.

By Jack Ho

Emotionally Tense

Ever since the crash on Thursday night there have been many set backs somehow, as the shock that I had was just too much after as it made me all crank up. I was out with Ming Ming on Friday night, she looked piss somehow and I felt bad about it because I was the one who wished to see her. Then, I also realised I couldn't speak properly because I was still shaken by the accident on the night before, that feeling is just horrible as it is still in me today. I've been trying to get over it though, but it is tough and I guess it will take quite some time. My bike is currently in the workshop, it's hospitalised, and I do feel a little reluctant to get back onto the bike as the crash just comes back into my mind the whole time. Yet, I will still get back on no matter as competitions are coming really soon and I must overcome this phobia. I've been having sleepless nights though because each time I closed my eyes, I could see crash scene, the backflash just keep hitting me all the time so that is why it has been really hard for me to sleep. Besides, every now and then it is still difficult for me to move around because of the wounds as it is just painful. Oh God, I just I can get over this nightmare as soon as possible.

The weekend was just bad after all, due to my injury so I couldn't do much. I was just at home most of the time watching tv, and writing articles. Even when I wanna write, I just couldn't find all the inspirations in me because the crash is truly a nightmare that haunts me all the time. So it's been tough and hard going through all these alone, though I sound alright to everybody as I do not wish to let everyone to worry so much yet I just keep it to myself that pain and struggle that I have to endure. At some point, I just wish I wouldn't have to think of anything else other than just a blank memory. And nothing tends to make me smile lately, whatever smile everyone has seen from me has been faked after all. I've been trying hard to live it up and go back to the normal me, but I just hardly smile like I used to. Hopefully, someday when this nightmare is over I can smile at the world again.

There a BBQ dinner yesterday with the MMBC in Esplanade. It was a wonderful evening, calm breeze and beautiful sunshine. I was so tempted to jump into the water for a swim, but I couldn't because of my wounds so I felt quite sad at some point. So I rode around Esplanade using Eugene's bike, I love his bike because it is really one hardcore machine. So I was jumping around and flying as I like just to feel that adrenaline again, it was really fun. But as I got nastier and nastier, I was being careless somehow and I made a mistake again, so I fell off from the bike while attempting a drop. Luckily I fell on the sand, but I had a heard hit on my left thigh and the swollen got even bigger. I was covered in sand, and had mouthful of them, but it was fun after all. Ms.Dee didn’t turn out for the BBQ, so many guys were upset except me. She went to Piano Grand Finale instead, then some of the guys were quite disappointed. Ming Ming has been telling me how perfect this girl is for me, but I just get irritated the whole time when she mentioned about it. The truth is I’m not really interested in this girl after all, and God knows why. But I know Ming Ming was just joking the whole time, yet because of all the suffering I have been going through lately has just crank me up a little. I’m sorry Evangeline, as I didn’t have the intention of being mean to you last night.

But it was a laugh to me when she mentioned Ms.Dee’s got everything that a man desire for, somehow that reminds me of the desires we seek rather than the needs we seek. But the thing, what does a girl have for a man to desire? Well, to answer this question it would come in many forms of answers. Thus, I’m gonna go straight forward and very direct about this because realistically man only desire one thing, Sex for pleasure it is. No matter how beautiful or gorgeous looking a girl is, or even how perfect she can be in the heart, yet it is always lust that is being desired because the temptations of pleasure from the exotic curvy sexy figure (Okay, some girls got really bad ass) is just too irresistible for a man, men drool over this as it is in their fantasy. Yet, it is up to the man on how he catches it! But it is always wise to be honest to the girl, because if you don’t you ain’t gonna get what you want!

As I was just looking through the latest result of the first race of this season in Triathlon, I was just terrified somehow because I saw my Nemesis! He is back, and it is just gonna get tougher. We raced last year in Singapore, and I would never forget the how it was. But no matter how tough it gets, either he’s my kryptonite or nemesis or apocalypse, with the heart of Hercules I will still roam the field with the sound of a thundering Spartans! Perhaps this is the Part 2 of my conspiracy after all, yet it is just gonna get more fun. Race is coming really soon, and I can’t afford to injure myself anymore. Gotta stay good and no naughty naughty!

No Boundary

Often, boundary is known to the limitations of anything that is set to be, just about anything in this world so as our own capabilities. Some boundaries were set to provide as rules and regulations, then some boundaries such as territorial ones are set to maintain personal rights and privacy. Of course, these are the physical boundary we see and live around with and in all over the world. But, the mind itself has also be known to have boundary within its limitations. Limit it is, but how limited is it when the time never seems to stop revolving around us and the world? The Earth never stops its rotation, the Sun never stops its burn, and we, the humans, have never stop to live in this planet.

Limit or boundary, for they are words that are being used to describe what or how far we can only reach in many matters. But wise, it is only words that tell our minds to stop ourselves from proceeding as there are rules or regulations to obey. Rules can be anything, from laws to concepts of life or even to religious matter. So these are perhaps why we are often encountering by the limitations we face as to structure our lifestyle or even freedom. In fact, there are tons of stories in this world that have said to be inspirational and motivational because of the impossible they have achieved, or perhaps sacrifices that have made that leads to an evolution of the human society. Rules are boundary that sets our limitations in what we do in fact, but most obviously it is our minds that set ourselves. Rules are, or have, always meant to be broken because the intelligence in us allows our minds to work rationally and intellectually for that is the nature of the brain. We proceed and excel beyond our limits to find greater achievement and life, for it is our freedom to do so as we have a purpose to live our lives. So why set boundary within your life? Where as you can do many great things and achieve the impossible and the unthinkable in your life, even perhaps what you can do would even change the world and make a historical icon for yourself.

Many people have achieved what were thought to be impossible; Albert Einstein, Shakespeare, The Wright Brothers, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, etc, these are some of the most famous people who have overcame the impossible. These people were also defined to have insanity back then, but it was their passion and believes have rewarded them the achievement they deserved. Even in sporting history, many great athletes have been faster, longer, greater, stronger and even stronger till today. Runners have broken time barriers that were the unthinkable, swimmers have swam faster than the unimaginable, and many more great names to be mentioned. These are the obvious examples of how boundary has been broken, and limit no longer is limited anymore.

Even I, myself, once thought there were many things I couldn’t do as I never realised how one can actually go beyond the limit to find greater pasture, not until I lived with my dreams and passion. I remember, the very moment when I got to know triathlon when I was a kid, I told myself that I would be able to do it once day and strongly believe I can even perhaps achieved what I was desired to. So first time when I had my first race, it was really difficult and tough as the race was a survival ordeal for a first timer as I was. Even though I nearly gave up, but somehow I was determined to finish the race even if I had a single breath left and I really pushed myself really hard. In the end, I finished the race though I lost but deep inside me I knew I have achieved a greater distant in my life. From then on, it was my first step to believe the impossible can always be achieved as long as I set my mind to and focus on my goals, and just go for it. It was even greater when I did adventure challenge because it was really tough and challenging to survive the race in the jungle without any help. I remember well it was the Borneo Ballbreaker 2004, a 30km run in the jungle, I joined the race without any second thought because I was so anxious to try something new as to challenge myself. I didn’t know the obstacles ahead of me; I was blinded and never thought the difficulties of the race. It wasn’t until when I came to realise how tough it was, as many people started to pull out and didn’t wanna go on. I almost gave up as well because it took me 5 hours to reach the first check point along with a friend, but then we changed our minds because we realise how far we have come and the worth of finishing this race was just too great. It was really tough going through the race for the whole day; the weather was hot and humid, so dreadful. Then, when I finished at 14th placed with a time of 7hrs 29mins, I felt so great because I never knew I could survive such a great distant. There 180 people at the race, but in the end only 28 got to finish, and I felt really happy to be one of the 28 to have such an unforgettable achievement in 2004 as it was a historical moment to be remembered by everyone. That dreadful race was definitely a God given lesson for me to learn and always remember it well, because impossible is nothing as long as it can be done when the mind is set to and no matter how tough it gets yet the toughness gets it going. The challenges I have are just my game after all, overcoming the impossible and difficulties may be tough but in the end it is well rewarded with great dignity and honour.

Believe it or not, everything begins with a dream. Boundary may be set in our life but yet it is still our own choice to make the decision to break it. The achievement you find will be something that is a lifelong education, and you will even understand yourself more to see the world. So if you have a dream or a goal, why stop yourself from doing it? As the opportunity is in yourself, and it is up to you to make the decision in stepping over the horizon.

Remember this; Nothing is Impossible, if you Just Do It.

By Jack Ho

Death

Fear we have by all that live, as a Man that was born for a purpose in the very end.
Control neither in Us nor Him, for Destiniy it is face we must.
What begins, end it Must for yet Journey it has.
Life comes and go where the Train waits for no one.
New days begins as tomorrow comes, walk into the future we shall.
May I, or you, dwell in these days for the future is endless?
Yet journey is the creation of all.
Wise decision has it for the Love that meets, control it must not for the river flows naturally.
Start it has, end as it shall.

By Jack Ho

Crash Again

Sometimes, lucks do get really tough somehow without realizing or knowing it. Things may look really alright, but yet the instinct or senses do warn you in some ways. But somehow, I ignored those warnings because I did not realize what was going to happen.

As usual, last night was a Thursday night so it was time to ride with the guys for a good ol'fun ride. We intended to have a long ride last night though, so I was the one who lead the pack. Everything seemed alright to me as I was going on a very constant speed as I did not wanna get everybody too exhausted. The headwind wasn't too strong so I felt really good on the ride. But I kept having the feeling of something was gonna happen and told myself I had to overcome the phobia form the previous crash, yet I kept myself ignoring it and assumed everything was gonna be fine. Then, luck and fate just changed without knowing what ahead of me was. I was on my tri-bar as usual, and again, the moment I lifted my head up I saw a rock in front of my front wheel and I was too late to steer. I quickly got up from my tri-bar and tried to pull away from the rock, but it was too late and the next thing was I flew like a superman doing motocross's dirtjump. Nick was like, "He flew right in front of me, man!!" and Richard said "Jack, your bike is a cursed, guess you gotta get rid of those bars!" I landed on the road like a plane crash, my legs were stuck and jammed in the pedals so my bike eventually flew all the way and slide with me, poor bike. The words that I said were "Oh shit, fuck! Not again!" somehow, and I was just "Shit shit shit shit shit" all the time. The first thing that came into my mind right after I crashed was about Ming Ming, it was weird to think about her as I didn't know why. Michael wanted to spray me again and I quickly went "No no no no no no no, oh no you don't!" so he gave me something else instead to clean my wounds. Then, we headed back as I went home to clean myself up.

This time I wasn't as badly injured as the previous one, yet my knees, thighs, hips, body, and arms were all covered with wounds, scratches and bruises. After I got home, I text Ming Ming to confess to her how great she is as a friend in my life, because if I had died back there in the crash I wouldn't have the chance to tell her something heartiest from my heart, not really heartiest though because there were still certain things I didn't tell her. My family was kinda speechless when they saw me coming into the house with all the wounds and scratches. My mum was like “Not again! We’ll see how many times you can survive this ordeal!” and I was thinking to myself, no pain no gain and what kills me will make me stronger. My dad was speechless as he just shook his head not knowing what to say. My brothers were a little terrified because this is my second crash within the first 6 months of the year. But I couldn’t sleep the whole night basically because of the pain all over me, it’s a little terrible. Ming Ming was there to company through sms the whole night, but she fell asleep like a pig somehow, as always, it is just really funny how that girl is sometimes.

I’m glad I survived it this time, somehow, because my helmet kept me safe. If it wasn’t my helmet I guess I wouldn’t make it after all, as my head hit the road. Yet, my helmet didn’t get a single scratch! It is really worth buying MET helmet though it cost me Rm$400 but the safety of the helmet paid it all. Oh well, what will my future be and I guess I wouldn’t know. The next accidents, I just hope there won’t be anymore as I will be more careful. I’m lucky to be single I guess, as I don’t have anyone to worry about me. Or even if I die, nobody will have to cry and grieve over me. Perhaps my ex-girlfriends left me for a good reason though, as I’m not such a great guy after all who risk his own life all the time. No girls would ever be so caring anyway as they are naturally selfish, though they seem ought to be very caring but in actual fact they’re not because I’ve seen it all. I guess that explains why there is no girls would wanna be with me, not because I’m choosy, but because I’m a triathlete who is out training everyday under the sun and look so dark. But I’m alright to be single though, as I know no one will have to care and worry about me so much, as no one will ever do so. I’m all alone, and it is nice somehow because it is only the world and me. Perhaps, someday if I die, I will die will no regrets knowing I have a great life and not letting anyone to be sad and grieve over my death. For I am Jack, I will always be the person I am and face everything that comes. But I still thank God no matter what He has given to me, because I have learned so much from all that He taught.

“Ouch!!!” yeah, I went “Ouch” again because of my hips as the pain is so blooding annoying…uurrggh!

Reminisce

As I am sitting here listening to some of my favorite music, I somehow start to reminisce days of mine. Looking back and see how far I’ve come, it is just amazing how time have passes so fast and still go on.

There were times where I couldn’t carry on in life, yet I still pulled myself together to live on. There were times where I felt glorious and nothing else matters, yet there were only wonderful memories for now.

Dreams still carry me towards my future for I have no regrets in the path I have chosen for my life. The good and bad, both I’ve overcame with pain and pleasure. For the pain I had, it has made me stronger than ever. For the pleasure I had, it has made me a better person as I am now.

For the loves I had, it was a journey that was once I took and never felt regret. For it is life that I had, wonderful there were with happiness and joy that I felt. There bad times as well for nothing are ever perfect, no happy ending but sad yet it was a wonderful journey that I went through. Dramas are always part of everyone’s life, the traumas are just the prevention of all matters.

Friendships I had and have, thank God for it all. Yet, people come and go in life as friendships are just passing clouds for they do not stay forever. Great people I have met and welcomed them to my life, though they’re gone yet their wisdom stays forever.

After all, they are just memories to be remembered. Reminiscing the very days of those, is just like reading a fairy tale.

By Jack Ho

Conspiracy of Jack Ho

It has been really hot lately, but as usual, as it is the dry season and the worst time of the year. I was out for a ride yesterday morning under the scorching heat. The air felt really dry, strong breeze, yet the heat was intense, so I felt like in Kona instead as the heat just felt like as if they were from the lava rocks in Kona. I could feel my throat dot dry up really quick as soon as I gulped down my drink, and the heat just felt like nails penetrating into my skin. But it was a good training after all as I’m still used to intense heat, so at least I know I can race under such condition as my body and mind can take it.

I was supposed to wake up early for a run just now, but I woke up 2 hours after the alarm went off. Then I still wanted to go for the run and realized I have a class at 10a.m. so I was late basically. I feel so guilty for not running just now, yet I will replace it later this afternoon hopefully.

I wanna race, as I’m craving for it and really hungry for it. That pleasure of racing just feels great, greater than sex, as the adrenaline rush just rush through the body and the tension and heat of the race just hit you with no mercy. There is a conspiracy going on right now between me and the Pulau Melayu cyclists. The Pulau Melayu and the Piasau Garden residents have form a cycling group themselves, you can see them training along Kuala Baram road most of the time. Now, the conspiracy is they claimed they are the best and have always been the best because they have been to races, and also they have cycled everyday to Kuala Baram for their training. Look, the route to Kuala Baram in total is only 38km from where they start. I see how funny it is when they claimed they are the best with only 38km of training. I’ve seen how they train many times as I always overtake them and they never could follow me. So, they still claim they are the best. They have also said they are gonna organize a cycling tour, a 2 or 3 days tour I heard, with Time Trial, Criterium, and Classic. Well, they have said it they would organize it last year but it never happened, what a shame at some point. Let’s hope they can REALLY organize the race this year without putting shame on themselves, because I’m hungry for races though and we’ll see who the best is after all. If they can claim they are the best and also said they are better than MMBC, we will who the best is in the race! So have they heard the name of Jack Ho, nevertheless they still do not know who the rider is and what he does. He is keeping himself a low profile, not until the race day itself. Heard they have, fear they have not I suppose yet what the outcome will be is another drama for they to remember for the rest of their lives.

I really don’t like it when people keep saying they are the best where as they are not, because if you are then many people would know. Even I, myself, do not claim the best at all because the world is too big to be the best. So if you start claiming you’re the best, then perhaps it is my game to show you what BEST means. I just can’t wait to race with this bunch of people after all, it will be really fun. I’m ready to take on these people anytime anywhere, because without my group I can take them alone as well as it will be even more extreme. Come on, bring it on!

"I'm Fat"

“I’m fat! I’m fat! I’m fat!”

These days, the obsessions of getting rid of fats are very intensified by many people. Fat, it has been described or thought by many to be ugly looking and terrible appearances. Some people are born to be fat as it is in them genetically, and some become fat from over eating.

For those who think they are fat, and they do seem to be overweight and living an unhealthy lifestyle, so they do deserve to be described fat as they do have lots of fats in their body. Fats, too much fat, do harm us in ways till we many die of heart diseases. As it is because of unhealthy lifestyle such as unhealthy eating or diet and no exercise at all, that will often increase the body fats and let to unused fats that harm our health. In order to get rid of fats, many people are lazy at some point so they refuse to do physical exercise to burn off the fats and also to eat a healthy diet. Then, many would start to take diet pills or fat loss pills, whatever they are because these products do not give us a healthy life at all as, in other words, it is like consuming acid into the body to destroy the fats but yet it also has side effects. So the very best way to lose fats is to do exercise and eat healthy foods, as they don’t cost a lot. All you have to do is to plan and re-schedule your daily timetable to fit in a session of workout; 4 times a week and with 1 hour person, it can be either gym workout or running on the track on in the park, and it will be enough for you to lose the fats you want. Spend an hour a day to workout doesn’t demand much from you financially, so don’t be lazy and refuse if you really wanna slim down in an effective way. Here is a reason why, when workout you are actually exercising and moving all the muscles of your body, so fats are used to burn for energy to supply power for your workout. During that process, you are actually telling your body to transform to a fitter condition and hence your body will soon realize it is adjusting itself to a better stage. Thus, that allows your body to stay as fit as you want without worrying losing it all. Yes, you do lose it if you stop exercising because of the fats you bring back into your body but yet the base condition which you had developed is still there and so it is only gonna take you a little while to lose weight again.

Besides, after a workout we will feel hungry because the body needs energy replacement. So it is very important to control what we eat, and not to just eat what we want. Tasty foods do satisfy us as we all love delicious foods, but most delicious foods are known to be bad for our health. For example, a plate of fried race with meats and seafood do taste really great, but yet the dish contains high calories, fatty acid, carbs, cholesterol, etc. These are not what you need most when you’re not as active as a professional athlete because even professional athlete does not take those foods. Hence, it is best to take high protein and fibres meal, vitamins and anti-oxidants’ meals. Do not only take what you want, but it is best to take what your body needs because satisfaction is only a moment of joy yet maintaining a long steady performance is a worthwhile achievement in life. So start taking those green salad, fruits, and low fat meals. This is because when you start making these changes to yourself, you are transforming your life to a longer state where as you can live healthier, stronger, happier and longer lifespan.

If you are an average fat person and having a healthy life, not overweight, yet you still wanna lose weight then it is best to exercise regularly and have a healthy diet as well. But they are people who are obsess with losing weight though they are already thin and slim enough, and very close to skinny and underweight. These obsessions, often, seen in many young people these days because it is so obvious that we see teens are in skinny and underweight stage. Yet, looking skinny are known by many to look sexy and exotic. But the real fact is, they are sick inside because when a person is skinny it is often to be known malnutrition as a matter of fact. Malnutrition is the lack of nutrition needed in the body. But because of obsession of losing weight, many have come to a state where they refuse to take foods and have regular exercise due to laziness and afraid of hard work and sweats. Skinny, in fact, is just another ugly outlook of not appreciating one’s body. You may think you look thin, but actually you would look horrible and people may start to think you’re sick or suffering from diseases. So when you’re already thin, it is purely and obviously that you do not need to lose fats anymore because your body still needs little fats no matter what. Fats are used throughout our daily activities, thus having them is indeed a need. Perhaps if you’re very skinny then you may die even earlier because your body does not have the supports it needs to survive and work.

Therefore, it is not guilty to be fat but it is guilty when you are not looking after your own body well. So get up and start forgetting those junk foods, spare a little time and go do some exercise because you may see those fats being burned as if they are being cooked. Eat healthy foods and tell yourself they are the best for your needs and not your wants, because your life is in your hand and it is up to you to live for it. I was once a fat person who was overweight, back then I wasn’t aware of my unhealthy lifestyle not until I couldn’t do well in triathlon. So I started by approaching my coach to seek help, that’s how I met my coach by the way, and train myself up. Till now, I’m living healthy and feeling great as I can do many things with my healthy lifestyle. I eat healthy foods and chose not to eat unhealthy foods, at first it was hard because they were tasteless but after awhile I got used to it and like since then. But what is more shocking was how healthy foods have shaped me up and improved my performance in triathlon since then. Never regret I had, for a lifestyle I chose and still happy with it.

By Jack Ho

Confession: Heart is a Treasure Chest

Words, they are used to describe what we wanna say and what is around us. As words represent everything around the world, yet there are still things where words are unable to describe after all as nothing is ever perfect. Confessions we have, as it is our modesty from our hearts to say something truly and sincerely to anybody or anyone. But not many people would often confess while they have the chance to because of the lack of confidence and often in doubts. Confession is easy when we think it is because we only we to say it out honestly and sincerely from the heart, feel we must then we would realise how important it is to confess from the heart.

The heart is a chest of treasures, as many secrets of words are well kept within. Only the owner has the key to unlock, but the other half may also have the key to unlock the chest. When a confession is kept too long in the chest, it would soon be neglected and forgotten where chances they are would disappear as time passes by really quick. Thus, the very moment when it is right to confess, perhaps one shall take courage to do so because an opportunity like this will not always come as every second in life is precious. Whether it is a confession of love or anything, it is best to confess during the moment where you feel right because you won’t know if you’re gonna lose that chance by the next moment.

So far, in my life I have only confessed a few times to people I loved and things that I like and love to do. Of course, I felt hard to confess as I felt very nervous because not knowing what the outcome would be so I had no expectations at all. Yet, at least I got to unlock the treasure within as it has been kept for too long and I never felt guilty for confessing. But for now, I guess I have another confession to make as it is truly from my heart.

My confession is there is really somebody I’m in love with now, the one and only as it is not just her that I admire about but who she is within herself. The chemistry between us can be felt certainly, but yet it is still going strong day by day as that is how I feel for her. I don’t know what the outcome will be as I do not have expectations for I do not wanna be disappointed and ruined what is between her and me. She is a very nice person, very lovely, really cute, kind, polite, adorable, honest at heart, intelligent, gently manner with a soft spoken voice, and she is beautiful after all as not just her look but her heart. Her personality is very great as she is very caring with moral attitude within, really kind hearted indeed. Naive perhaps she is but yet she has great dignity and modesty within herself. When I’m with her, I just feel happy and wonderful because the emotions between is a chemistry of the strongest elements. Not just because of that but it is what we share commonly, both thoughts and hearts that make me realise how vital things can be to another person from one another. She is a great person after all, not just the outlook but the heart within. I really admire her with all my heart as she is brilliant at what she does, very talented and impressive. She’s very humble and often well spoken, great attitude she has. She is very matured as well as she has thoughts of her own independently. She is also very determine as what she does, for this is my judgement on her after speaking a few words with her in certain things, and I really respect her to the fullest for she deserves it with my sincerity. Definitely a wonderful person she is, yet I do not know how I’m gonna confess to her in real. I do wish to have her as a companion, but yet I do not know what I am to her as I’m not a mind-reader. I’m a simple person living a simple life, nothing fancy as I appreciate everything little thing I have in my life. I guess I just don’t have the guts to do so as I’m too afraid to, indeed lack of confident. But perhaps time will help for I have hope. It is very true indeed that nothing can be rushed or pushed too hard, go with the flow as the river will never stop flowing in its natural form. For now, the treasure chest in me is well kept and I hope one day a key can be found by the rightful hand. But maybe it would fade away if I don’t treasure it well, yet it is a mistake not to be repeated. Oh well, perhaps there will be a day for me to confess to her so guess I’ll just wait. Smile I have, smiled she has, for we both have smiles every day. Wondering I have, yet time is everything.

So that is just a confession of mine, but not sure if it’s gonna come true. Fate perhaps and faith I have, and then lead it shall for I take a step into it.

By Jack Ho

Destiny or Decision

There are many things in Life that happens in ways that we do know and we do not know. Many people have said things do happen as it is destined by God, for the path He leads us to. But, sometimes or most of the times, things to do happen when it is us who make it so. I'm not a skeptic about God's words or power for it has been with us for long, yet I am always questioned by many things that have happened to me.

I remember this incident very well as it was a week before the Chinese New Year this year. On the Thursday night, as usual, I would go out cycling with the group for a night ride. I always take it as a training session with the group because with many cyclists around I could train more. Hence, the idea of that night's ride was to develop my speed and endurance. I was going fast that night as I broke away from the group for a distant, I felt great at first so I continue with my target and what I had set in my mind to. So clearly, I was doing really well with what I have planned and just felt going stronger and stronger. When we almost reached half-way, I thought I could just slow down for awhile and continue with the speed later, but suddenly fate just changed in a blink of a second as it all happened so fast. I heard Nick screamed and yelled "Watch out, batang ahead!" then I lifted my head up to see, but I was too late. I hit the wood and lost control, and immediately I could feel I was lifted off into the air then the very next thing was I landed on the road really hard with strong impact and was rolling on the road. "Oh shit!” I said as I was landing onto the road. But that very moment very when I flipped from my bike I saw something very unusual and it just happened so fast before I even landed onto the road, I saw many people in my life smiling at me and their faces were so clear that I knew who were smiling at me, every single one of them. The very moment I landed and hit my head onto the road, the vision just disappeared. I was lying on the road as I just couldn't move for awhile, I could only hear my breathing and heartbeat and I was wondering if I was still alive. Everybody was shouting for me, "Jack crashed! Jack crashed!" and I only heard that when I sit myself up. The first thought that came to my mind was if my bike was alright, so I quickly rose up to check out my precious bike. I was glad my bike was fine after all, yet everybody kept telling me to sit down and don't move. I still couldn't hear clearly what they were all telling me to do, all I knew was I had to see my bike and catch my breath. I was breathing really hard, yet didn't feel the pain. When I look at my knees and hands, all I could see was covered in blood. There was no pain at all, as I was still in shock and the adrenaline was still pumping. But the pain felt so horrible when Michael took out the anti-septic spray, I was in agony and the worst pain of my life. I swore to myself that I would never wanna take that spray again because the pain was so unbearable that I nearly fainted. Really bloody it was, yet the thought of whether I was still alive or not just kept questioning me. It was to everybody's realize that I was 15m away from where I crashed that I had rolled, it was long and I never thought I could survive. So then, I still took the courage and energy I had to continue with my training and cycled back home.

So, was I destiny to experience that crash and live to tell how be careful we shall be or a lesson to be learn? Or was it just another careless mistake I made for not being careful? Perhaps, I would say it was a careless mistake because I was having an intensive training that night, and it has always been dangerous to ride in the dark. So as I felt tired during the training, I didn't really bother to live my head up all the time before you just wanna look down to catch a breath and relax for awhile. Thus, I really think I wasn't being careful enough. But yet to think about what I saw during the moment before I crashed, it was very unusual. So why did I get to see such thing? People always say the moment before you die, you will see everything in your life. But what I saw was unusual enough because I saw every single people I know and they were all smiling at me. Was I hallucinating because I was tired? Yet, still why did it only happen to me and not others? There were others following closely behind me that moment but yet I was the only one who crashed and the others did not. Did destiny really turn my fate? Or was it another lesson from God to let me know how precious life can be? Yes, I admit that after the crash I started to realize how precious life is. But no matter what happened back in the crash, it has been something that I will never forget because it has allowed me to learn so much of everything in life. Yet, the question still goes on and on "Was it destiny or seconds of decision made?"

I also had this conversation when I was out with Ming the other night in Coffee Bean, because we were talking about how we met as it was a little funny. I met Ming Ming Ming while I was in the Bike Exhibition the other weekend in Parkson. Actually, I've already spoke to her once when I went to Optiprimus with Gilbert and Michael but it was just a visit to see the products of the shop so she was the salesgirl who attended me. Then on that Sunday, I saw her passed by and so we greeted with a wave. Then, I asked her to come over for awhile just to show her around of the bikes we exhibited. That was how we got to know each other well and became friends as soon as we introduced ourselves. So we took the pleasure to have each other's contact and became friends since then. During the drink in Coffee Bean that night, we wondered how we could ever meet each other because we have so many things in common. Thus, the questions became very clear whether it was destiny, or coincidence, or just merely decision. We both couldn't really answer as we did know that it was something really hard to answer, as we will never know I supposed. So I made a conclusion to Ming Ming instead, as we were just too curious. Since we have so many things in common yet we are really good friends for now, and our friendship is even more than lovers, so I realize the moment I met, perhaps it was just destiny or and coincidence later as we got to know each other even better. But yet it was still a decision that I took to ask her to come over to look at the bikes, and the conversations we had was perhaps destiny after all.

So you see, life comes in many ways after all because these are one of those many elements that have made up into our daily lives. Destiny, it is a journey where we walk in our lives and yet it is in the control of our own because God does not only assign a path to you be He has also a guideline provided for us all. Decision, God or anyone else does not make decision for us as the choices can be given but yet it is still depending on ourselves to make that decision. Perhaps, I have already made my decision even before I had the crash and not being careful about riding at night so it was a lesson to be learned. And as for my faith with Ming Ming, coincidence between our common factors? Perhaps, it is destiny after all.

By Jack Ho

Shame Not

Shame not, as it is you who face the world.

So ask yourself, what is the purpose of your life?

And, what is your life? and who are you?

By Jack Ho

Bees of Flowers

Flowers, bloomed beautifully seen a garden may. A beauty born has, as the Gardener delighted he was. Fragrance brought along its wind is well admired by many, wonders of heavenly flies. Lovingly shall it have for the sun may shine often not, Bees wonders for Honey is sweet. Honey sweet indeed may well be felt, at heart when a Bee finds within. Concern for a colony by many, destruction it has upon Flowers. Yet, Gardener carries all odds of the beauty as flowers well blessed have. Water for rain is to coming, soil for sleep a bed it is. Lay there softly, seem a Beauty yet a tale of all for eternity. Mint indeed it is, for She is as beautiful as eyes of Mine seen has. Through within deep it has no directions of words well shape a tale. Felt it has in hand with flowers, as Rainbow shines it all. Mint she is though simplicity takes all nature, yet a Bee and Flower stay where Garden is.

By Jack Ho

Love and Like

I came across this thought from long time ago, as I then realized what Love was really about and the difference from Like. Hence, I soon began to question many and often ask what their Likes and Loves are. Many have answered the same thing as I expected, Like is Love, as I knew how people have misunderstood what is Like. From feelings to desire, from desire to demand, then as to forget what one really need somehow. Thus, many of us would have soon begun to misinterpret our very own desire in life, or perhaps even mislead the others.

Like, in a way, is a favourable manner of our own desire. It is a feeling that tells us we favour something that is very attractive and eager to have. We may like many things around us, from gadgets to animals as pets, or even to cars and houses. Often, when we like something we tend to have the intentions of earning them as we may find them useful and handy in a way we feel the like of it helps us to have more favour towards what we like. Hence, we would adore or treasure something that we own when we like it, yet this feeling do seem to appear in temporary motion only. This is because due to our desire of favours often stretch us to greater distance in defining what we want as we like, as we may like different things that will impress or amaze us in its own ways. Attractive it can be, as our eyes are often catch by magnificent items and hence we will have the desire to show favours, in other words like. Temporary it is, as like only tells us what we want, because due to its impressiveness of favours we are able to be pulled towards or drawn to something that tempted us to do so. But yet, Like is just a feeling that tells us our desire towards what we want and why we would like to have them. So we may like the weather for a moment, but we may not like it again by the next minute as the changes of it, therefore our favours are temporary as it is accordance to our desire.

But Love comes in a different way, as love is an emotional feeling of affection and a feeling that is only being felt in the heart, as defined in the previous article “Love Hurts?” thus Love is something not temporary but it is a permanent motion of life revolve around us. Love gets very passionate and warm as our heart project that feel towards what is to be loved by us. Love is often treasured and felt precious in the heart, as our heart would grow passionate towards what we love It is not a desire or demand that we want something and would say love it, as love comes naturally when we realise the value and effect that it has in our lives by giving us affection. As love lays its hand onto us, we feel being adored and treasured in life as we are able to know the value and preciousness that something can give to us. Wonderful we may say, or even the greatest. What we love stays in the heart and unable to let it go as the passion for it is well dwelled in the heart, as we treasure and appreciate them. The passion that love gives is unlimited as our passion gives us a great distance to explore and go further to develop our loves towards what are loved, as the passion just grow stronger and stronger. On the other hand, Love is well different from Like as the affection of Love is permanent and does not evolve as Like does, when one is passionate where the other is accordance to our desire. Love makes no difference when it comes to its defining truth of sincerity and loyalty, as it is very passionate indeed, and takes no alternate views. As simple as I can say, no matter how ugly or imperfect something is but when a person has a Love towards yet that very person would just Love as it is with no conditions and circumstances. Therefore, Love is unconditional as Like is.

Many people have misunderstood many others because of Like and Love. When somebody like or is being liked, it is just an admirable feeling because that person may be very nice or have impressive personality etc. But yet, when we say we like somebody and many people would assume that we have fallen in love for him or her. We do admire people in many ways, as mention, because it is our own favours towards what we desire. Compliments we have while others may take these words to be words of flirtatious, as people would also call them sweet talks. But, compliments are just words of honesty are our views of judgements in what impress us. Thus, people still misunderstand Like these days because Like has seem to be deceptive in some ways that it has tricked people’s mind. Like itself does no harm, as it is only our own understanding that causes the misunderstandings. Many people have different views and different judgements because of different background being brought up in different culture. Yet, we can make a difference if only we would start sharing the logical differentiations for others to understand and comprehend more in defining their own wants and needs.

Like we have, Love we shall yet we shall always be aware of what our minds have to tell us. For it is important to read the heart as well, because decisions are based on choices that has given to us yet we are the ones in defining our own decisions as we certainly do create our own decisions without having choices to make.

By Jack Ho

Wondering...

Walking on the field alone he is, feel the soft grass surrounded him. A gentle breeze comes along, taken away his soul with it. Smile has on a sunny day, yet within is long lost treasure. Search began as birds fly, yet it is all indirect as felt. No directions at all in this field, only grass and the breeze. Flowers brought wonder, beauty shall it be. Yet Wonder as he thought, for no answer has come to him. Mysteriously he has but yet there came along a path. Made he has, as chosen wise for no one. Lost I still am, for day is never perfect without a Heart. Like as it takes and Live as it comes, for no one handle what is within. Belong only You, soul is yours and never Leave for. Yet, a day of joy with a Smile by many.

By Jack Ho

A morning Run

This morning, I was supposed to be out for a ride on my bike but I didn't get to because, surprisingly, Jeff wanted to go out for a run and asked to company him. SO I woke him up for the run as he had instructed. Jeff wanna compete in Sarawak Triathlon 2008 as well, so he has just begun his first training today.

My brother, Jeff, has been out of competition for a long time because there never seemed to be a point for him to do so. But somehow, I guess it is life that changes his mind that got him to do this competition. I didn't hesitate to help him, as a brother I'm very happy to know that my brother also wanna go something that I have always done, thus it is indeed a great brotherhood that I felt. So I'm doing what I can to help Jeff out with his training and hopefully he can do well in the competition.

I've told him to run on the track for a start, as it will not injure him, but he insisted to run in the park instead. I would usually run from my house to the park as it is not far away, but Jeff insisted to take the car so I ran to the park myself and waited for him there. Jeff did tell me he wanna run 5km only, but I told him to run longer than that because it is to develop his base fitness and endurance. But, as usual, he is the kind that never listens.

As I was running, only for 45mins in my training, I saw Jeff was running too fast at the start. Then, I knew he could not finish so indeed he stopped right after 2.5km. Well, I could see he was exhausted. I did tell him to keep it steady and don't push too hard in the beginning because he has not warm up yet, but he didn't listen. So after I finished mine, I saw him sitting on the bench catching his breath and he was telling how exhausting it is. But it's alright, as this is only his first training and perhaps he has learned his lesson for not listening.

While I was running I met my friend, Leong, as well. He was running with a girl, and I've seen that girl before as she is a good runner. She doesn't seem local obviously because it is to my knowledge that no girls in Miri can run, if there is please show me and prove it to me. She has a great running form and very constant, she didn't seem to struggle as she was very calm. Thus, from there I knew she's a good runner. When I had finished as I was doing my cool down, Leong came to tell me who that girl is. I was quite surprise somehow; she's Japanese, and she used to be a marathon or long distance runner, she has won races, and she's really good according to Leong. I was speechless for a moment, as I thought she's Singaporean or from China and no wonder she looked so fit and lean. After all, she’s a good runner and perhaps she can be an inspiration to many Miri girls.

By Jack Ho

Pride

Values one has,
Dignify by Pride
For Pride is Us,
As deep it is in the Ocean.

Reach must We,
For Pride is Us,
The Values seek one,
Is a thousand miles Worth of Journey.

Earn we may,
For Pride is Us,
Honor dwells in Heart,
For Heart carries Pride,
Yet the Soul lives forever.

Dignity it is,
Modesty it has,
Fight we shall as Bravery within,
No Fear in Shame,
Love most no one shall ignore Pride.

By Jack Ho

Originality and Changes

I was talking to Margo the other day after the mountain bike ride. We were having a conversation about philosophy and how pathetic it could be, so then she actually gave me some examples which actually gave me ideas of what to write as it was very interesting after all. Yes, I find it interesting and started to question myself a lot these couples of days. It is about originality basically because of the changes around us these days, hence the question was is it still original when it's already changed or modified?

At birth, all of us were just infants. We couldn't talk or walk or do anything independently as we were only babies. Thus, we were given names and said to be us. Then, as time has gone by, we grew up and moved into adulthood. Of course, we do not look like babies as we were back then yet we still carry the names we were given as it identifies us as who we are. But, physically we look different than we used to be as babies, because we grow. So, how can we define that we are still who we were today? Things that we do everyday have seen to be different after all, because we are humans and our nature is to learn and progress in our lives. But yet, since birth we were just little infants and couldn’t do anything as we could only be curious by our surroundings. Thus, we progress as we grow but we still remember what our names and identities are. Names and identities are just keys to verify our originality, yet it doesn’t reveal who we are because only we know and understand ourselves better than anyone else. Your brain is your’s and your heart stays in you only, but yet no one else can take them away. So, are these internal organs representing the originality of us? Indeed they do, it is because they are the DNA of us. Each and every one of us has our own written DNA in our blood, and it is never to change because it is the structure that made us human. Thus, what different does it make when defining who we are now and who we were as infants?

Margo was asking me, “You were baby when you were born, and you were given the name Jack, so are you still the Jack back then?”

The answer came to me instantly as I knew I wasn’t the baby I was as I have a different physical outlook. Yet, the only thing that has stayed the same is my DNA, as the identity of who I am today is written in it. I have grown for a little infant to an adult now, and the journey has been long and uneasy as I have learned many things. Even though I have changed from time to time, because I have learn in the journey of my life and have always improved as I am a human being, and human being’s nature is to learn, curious behaviors we have. Thus, do I still consider myself the original Jack for the changes that have been made throughout my life?

Margo then asked me again, “It is just like our bikes, when we first bought it where it came with all the assemble parts. But as time passes, new technology arises, and then we upgrade our bikes. Do you still consider it to be original?”

Thus, it reflects to the same thing as me as I have been upgraded ever since the first breath I took, as I grow humanly. So immediately my answer was I am still the Jack that has written in the DNA but not the Jack as seen back then, yet I have gone through the changes and phases in order to live a life, but not the evolution within myself biologically. Hence, my originality is still here within my DNA as it’s been written to develop for who I am today. There may be many changes in life as we grow, because the world is filled with many wonders. Yet our nature is to learn and learn, as we are the curious being. We have made discovery, and still discover today as we are the intelligent being to do so. But no matter how far advance we have gone in this world, we will never forget where we came from.

Some questions may not have answers, as the answers are right within us. It may not be for you to answer my question, but it is for you to understand your own answer. There are many things left to be questions, as there are many questions left not to be answers. Only we would know the answers, for it is who we are and what we are, yet it is up to our own understanding to comprehend what has been asked. Answers may seem to be the keys to all doors, but yet answers may also be the directions towards questions. A quest it is for us to search the truth and unfold the truth, but some truth is best kept unknown as there are certain things in this world would eventually complicate our lives. As there nothing ever perfect in this world, because that is the originality of it yet it is up to us to make the changes.

So, are you still the original you? The answer is for you to know, only.

By Jack Ho

Love hurts?

People always told me how much pain Love can actually create or cause, and how much destruction it gives. Then, many people would start blaming Love is the cause to the falls of their lives, and Love makes them feel unconfident about their lives, and Love gives them no hope as the pain it has caused is too much of a burden. So you see, the destructions of all that love does to somebody have caused many factors to a person. It brings nearly all harms and destructions to everyone, so Love is always being blamed and said to be really terrible. That is why most people would always say it is best to be single because you get your freedom and do whatever you want and wish to, and you don’t feel a pain being single because no love or relationship to bother. Hence, that is what they call the happiness they feel without having love or a relationship is truly pure and peaceful.

So let me get this straight, perhaps it is best for people know things even clearer than they have thought. Now, relationship is the bonds or connections between two people, whether your hetero or homo, you can be in a relationship. The reason why people get into relationships is because they feel the chemistry between each other, then that chemistry is known as Love. So when a couple is together they are known as lovers because they have love for each other, and they wanna be with each others. What do lovers do when they are together? There are just too many to mention anyway, so the most common ones we know are spending time together, dating, walk in the park, holding hands, traveling, dining, etc. We all do these are because to develop the relationship to a further state as to improve the love bonds between the lovers, and also to understand each other more, or even to feel and give in more affection into the relationship. Thus, in relationships we can basically see the developments are all done by us, humanly, and it is said that why we do is because we love our lovers or our lovers love us. So, many men or women then would start to say they have done something for their love ones because they love them deeply, leave the word deeply aside and lets just focus in love, hence people or many people have would also have claimed they make sacrifices for their love ones because they called it true love. Some may even say it is true sincerity and loyalty from their hearts, honesty and modesty there are, and even being faith to anything they would do for their love ones. Thus, aren’t all these sound like it is what PEOPLE do and not what LOVE does? Yet, people would also claim it is for Love that they have done it. But, why for Love when it is for the ONE you love? Isn’t the ONE you love is more important than what you can do for Love? So in the end, people get really confuse about their relationships because they start to feel not being appreciated or not accepted somehow. That is also why many girls, today, have fallen out or being dumped from a relationship because the lack of the attention they need from their partners and NOT what they can do for Love.

Now, let me state this clearly. What is Love? People may say love is about two persons together, roses, sweet as chocolate, red color, feelings, money, sex, drugs, girls, guys, hottie, sexy, gorgeous, greedy for lust, handsome, and so on. So in many definitions, people are mostly misguided by what they do and what they see, or even what they want. In actual fact, love is only a feeling that is being felt in the heart as it is generated from the heart. Love is not an object that can be seen, or even the heart shape we see today has only been a creation by some illusionist that claimed that’s how love looks like. Love, indeed, is invincible as it can’t be seen at all as the existence of love has only been a feeling. How many people have seen Love anyway? Some may say they see Love through Sex, so sex is love to them, that’s pathetic somehow because it is only pleasurable in sex as a satisfaction to our lusts, or it can be said we wanna have sex because we feel horny. But Love itself is just a feeling from the humanitarian heart as a result that we, humans, have feelings and emotions within ourselves. When we feel love or loved, it is just the heart that tells us something is indeed valuable in our lives and it is not to be forsaken or forgotten as it is being loved or to be loved, and also to treasure it because it feels very precious and to be treasured. Love, hence, is felt by all of us because we are all humans. Yet, people start blaming Love is the cause for many matters and destructions. But how can Love does harm to us when it is invincible? It is not an object, it doesn’t move, it doesn’t seem to be a weapon that can be carried, it is not any sound wave or heat wave that can kill anybody, yet it is only a feeling. But, people still claim Love does harm as it has been called a weapon of choice that had led many people to do silly things and be pathetic.

But, the real destructions that Love brings is NOT Love itself at all, it is us, the Humans. Love itself is not an object that moves or can be seen through our very eyes, as it is only a feeling that can only be felt. Thus, humans have hearts, and it is only us who bring destructions or do things that we can do because we can move and we can be seen visibly. So the point is, it is not what Love can do to despair peoples’ lives but it is what people can do to despair or destruct others’ lives. Love itself doesn’t move at all unless we move ourselves towards something and approach it, and then we deal with it as a result it us who are to be responsible for what we do or what we have done. Two people don’t get together just by having Love in between or the feeling they feel, but it is the two people themselves who pull themselves together as it is the only feelings they have for each other. For example, guns are weapons that we see today as they’ve been said to be deadly and lethal weapon. So guns are deadly, but are they lethal when you leave there as no one pulls the trigger? Does it shoot itself at all? So guns don’t kill people, only people kill people by using or manipulating it. Thus, it’s not Love that does all harm as Love itself has no harm where as it is only a feeling for us to have caring and loving by appreciating what is around us, and have humanity in this world. It doesn’t cause pain or destruction because it is people who create those matters. Love is not a pain and not a betrayal of our lives, as it is only a feeling because the real pain and betrayal comes from our doings for we are capable to do many things but Love, is only a feeling that does nothing as it is invincible at all. The reason why feel pain is because of the fault that they get from their partners, not Love, as probably their partners cheated on them or have done something really wrong. Thus, the pain does not come from Love, as Love is only a feeling of affection, but the pain and everything that make us feel bad in the relationship comes from ourselves. Perhaps, it is even our own habits or behaviors to be considered as the cause of major breakdown of a relationship. Yet, people keep blaming it is Love that had brought all destructions and pain, as some even claimed Love is Hatred.

Love as it is, for we are humanly enough to feel as it is one of the element in the universe. Love people, is a feeling that stays in the heart, and not outside the heart. Love is Love, and it is nothing that can be compared to the feeling it gives and defines. For it is innocent as it brings no harm, because we must reach within ourselves and ask whether is it Love or Us that makes us do what we want or need? But what is for sure is we may have what we want, for what we need will always stay with us. Love is only a feeling of affection, for it is not a weapon because it is only a feeling that comes from the Heart.

By Jack Ho

Another moment in class

At some point I just feel like I can't do a thing right now, just too tired to move. I guess the training this morning really got me, though I felt like a horse yet I'm a frog right now. The feeling is just horrible, exhausted and dying. Guess I should take it easy for awhile today, and tomorrow.

I received an email from Jason just now, he's currently backed in New Zealand. It's good for him as he's been outta home for almost a decade. I'll see him next year in New Plymouth for the ITU race, he said it's a great race and I must go there. Thus, I'm definitely going to New Plymouth!

Racing in NZ can be really critical yet FUN.

For Amanda Yen

A friend told me a friend of her is in despair as her relationship just ended, hence I was told to write something yet this is what I realized so far.

For Love is a feeling that is felt,
For it cannot be seen,
As it is only what we described,
Love, yet, has been in the Heart.

For man has no words for Love,
As man does not understand what's Love,
Yet Love does not betray our lives,
For it is man who betrays Love.

No Love I touch,
No Love I see,
But yet it is Felt,
As I do have love that dwells within my heart.

To understand your pain,
Is just the journey of life,
Yet it is the Heart you have,
That gives you a Life.

Neither it is Love or Life,
You're always the You shall be,
Strong you must for many wonders in Life is around you,
Pain is only temporary, yet Life is just too short to live.

By Jack Ho
P.S: So this is for you, Amanda Yen. Cheer Up and be happy!

No big deal, yet it's a BIG DEAL!

Recent weeks have been really interesting in my training, as interesting as horrible it could be. I just couldn't imagine what have gone wrong so far, yet I was well aware of it and lucky to make the changes in time. So far, it has only been minor injury that made me feel horrible but I knew I could fix the situations. Glad I did so with no regrets after all, lucky me.

Two weeks ago before the Labuan Cross-Channel Swim, I was on taper training for 2 weeks before the race. As the coach has advised, he told me not to have high intensity with high volume training as I would suffer burn out in the end. So it was best to keep low intensity but high volume. I did as the coach has instructed for the 1st week of taper, but I got a little impatience for the 2nd week so I went into high intensity with moderate volume though it was still logically applicable for taper training. So just 3 days before the race, I almost snapped my wrist while swimming. I remember well, I was doing hard set of butterfly with paddles; it was just a 50m sprint. At first I didn’t feel I was going too hard so I decided to go harder to finish the set. Suddenly, when I almost finished the swim on the second set, just 10m before the wall, my left wrist just happened to bend upwards with pain in it. I didn’t realize I lost control of my pool not until the pain occurred, so I quickly back up and stop. It felt horribly painful in my wrist as it was in agony. So I couldn’t really swim that day, and the rest of the sets were all canceled including the main sets, then I did recovery. The coach has always reminded me to get smaller paddles as my paddles are size XL, I like it big though. But the coach has told me it’s not good for my stroking and water feeling, so it’s better to change because the big paddles are only meant for power training. I know I didn’t listen to the coach and bother to change, yet that incident gave me a lesson well enough. So I was lucky that my wrist was already recovered for the race, and I raced well. But till today, I still can feel my left wrist is still a little weak from the incident so I’m very aware of it as not to injure it to a serious state.

Then, I did a long run 2 weeks before the race as I liked it. It was just 2 hours run anyway, no big deal as I felt great throughout the run. But the big deal came the very next day and jeopardize my training for the rest of the weeks. I somehow injured my ligaments, just a little sprain like before as previously I couldn’t run due to this matter. But this time it felt the exact same pain as before till I couldn’t walk properly, I was terrified at first as my biggest concern was about my training as it had to be put to a hold and do recovery training instead. I tried really hard to run the very next day but I just couldn’t as the pain was just unbearable. So I calmed myself down and told myself not to worry as it would take time to recover. Thus, it’s been 4 weeks now since the injury and I was already fully recovered since last week. The recovery training was all done on the football field, as it is best to run on grasses because it doesn’t create impact to the joints. Then, I also realized the sole of my shoes have worn out so it was time to change new shoes. I remembered Kim’s advises clearly about the new Nike’s running shoes, so I bought instantly. I’ve been running in them and it just feels so great, and still running better than before. My legs are totally fine for now, I just gotta control myself more and not overdo to cause injury to myself.

Again, today, this morning I was out on the track for the interval session. This week is aerobic week, and my training are all scheduled properly. It was really hot this morning, but I felt alright with the heat as I’m already used to it. So the main set for this morning’s training was Aerobic 2 Threshold set, 5 sets of A2 Endurance, something for the heart as I have not done it for past 4 weeks due to the injury. So I knew I was supposed to maintain my pace, speed, strength, heart rates, and form at 70% energy and not over 75%. It had to be controlled well in order to perform, as to maintain and develop. I reminded myself well, not to overdo it as there were plenty of sets ahead. So after warm up, I was ready to do the main set and went off to the start. I was ready, and started the run. Right away, I could not control the speed I was going in the first set as I knew I was going too fast because I was all out, I felt like a horse at some point. I tried to slow myself down but I just couldn’t, yet the first set was already a 3mins per km pace, hence I knew I couldn’t do well in this training anymore as by the end of the first set, I was really dizzy and exhausted. I still continued with the 2nd and the 3rd set for last, as I felt really tired and just couldn’t run and maintain as I’ve overdone it so I cut the rest of the 2 sets. Then, I remember what my coach has always told me, “Jack, you gotta learn to control your strength and not overdo it because you won’t survive.” I forgot about it somehow, yet the phrase just pop out after the training.

So it’s been a big lesson, as I haven’t controlled myself well in my training. Even though pushing myself through the limit is good as I can improve, but yet the consequences can be really critical somehow. So it is always wise to remember what is right and not to do, as not to harm yourself. For now, I’m gonna remember it well that I have to control myself well in my training or else I’m gonna injure myself again. And I’m pretty sure someone will be really mad about it. But no matter what, though I’m a risk taker but yet I’m well aware of what I do. Just gotta be more careful next time!

By Jack Ho

Creativity

Creativity of Mint Inc.

I stumbled across her creation today, as her smile has always been an inspiration to me, so I found a graphic that she made somehow reminded me the creation of a talented person is the creation of a better world, creativity.

People are creative in many ways, as they can be very talented as they are. It is because of who they are that is well written in their genes, and hence it serves as an identity of who they are. Their identity, often, is seen through the talent that have as they were born with it. Talented people have very sophisticated features of their own, it is often unique and impressively stunning because the things they can do are just unthinkable. Yet, this is the creativity they have within themselves as it is the soul feature of them. Many talented people are good many things; some are good in drawings, music, mathematics, and so on. Yet these are the genius that we all know today it is because the vision that they can see where as many can not is because talents are creative in its own uniqueness. Hence, many talented people or creative ones are capable of inventing new things, creative new artistic structures, beautiful melody and harmonically creative, and so on. The creativity we see today are often exposed by many as to reveal themselves because this is to let people know the possibility of creativity that can define the impossible.

But little did we know that everyone has a given gift in themselves as it is written and implanted in their very own DNA or gene. Perhaps, it is the discovery that they have not reached within themselves but yet it still can be reached no matter what the ages are. The secret to all talents is to unlock the inner self within, as many people would deny as they are often pressured and influenced by many things around them that caused then to change themselves. Yet, with real focus in discovery of one's self talent that it has within, then it is most possible for everyone to discover their own talent as long as they want to.

Many people as special in their own ways, it doesn't who are you are or how you look like but indeed the uniqueness of you is deep within yourself. It is up to you unlock that secret door and reveal your talent. Your uniqueness may be your skills in certain things or even your own attitude and your heart. Many people are judge by their as it shows how they are, but not who they are because the only way to know who they truly are, is when they reveal who they are by expressing themselves through their talents. The gift that everyone has is certainly the gift of their own specialty that makes them unique. Hence, if one does not discover it then perhaps it would be a waste.

Unique and special as everyone can be, it is just a matter of how we see and who we are in the defining the uniqueness of the talent. For me, Ming Ming is very creative and she has a unique smile that has given happiness to my world.

By Jack Ho
Graphic by Ming Ming

Existence of Two, but not One

Good and bad; Black and white; Ups and downs; for there is one, there will be two. A question that has question many people of why do things coexists in this world, and why can’t it be as simple as one it can only be. Perhaps, this is a question where the answer has already been given to us before us.

For millions of years ago, our planet was formed from the universe then came the other planets as well, most importantly the sun and the moon. Darkness and light have always been there as they serve purposes to all kinds. For it is a creation of the universe that transformed and shaped our world, hence all may have lives and allow the world to breathe. The concept is very simple, in and out as the only way out is to go in and the only way in is to go out from another. Everything serves a purpose in the universe, from little things it may to bigger things around us. The purpose to create and the purpose to destruct, as these are the ways that make the world goes round and develop. That is why our world has never seem to stop improving itself, as to serve purposes by humans as we, humans, always excel ourselves to achieve goals and dreams of our lives because at the end of the day it is still up to us to understand the purposes of all that we desire to know.

As often as it is, people would feel happy and sad at times depending on the situation. A friend of mine, the lovely girl, she asked me why can’t people just feel happy throughout their lives and not bother to be sad, and why does happiness exist at all where as why can’t humans just don’t have feelings. Human beings are complicated and sophisticated creatures and as unique as it is. We can think and feel everything around us for we are the creation of the universe, which is why there is male and female species coexist to produce more and more human beings. No one is ever perfect indeed, as we were born and not made by machines, yet true perfection comes from imperfection. Hence, we are capable of being emotional, sentimental, intellectual and logically mistakable. Of course, the two main core organs that have allow us to evolve and live are our hearts and brains. The brain, as we all know, controls all the functions of the body and also processes our intellectual thinking in order for us to do things everyday and live our lives. The heart is as simple as it seems as it acts like a generator that pumps blood throughout our body as to circulate bloods in our body, yet the heart is sophisticated as it produces feelings.

My good friend, Margo from Scotland who studied philosophy before, then gave me questions regarding the heart. Her questions were indeed remarkable as I would say as it truly compelled me to dig for the truth within my heart, as she asked why are feelings there as the heart is only muscle tissues that pumps blood, and when dissected you can’t see what seem to produce the feelings we feel yet how can anyone explain the existence of the feelings we feel today, as it is invincible at all. According to my own true that I dug out from my heart, the heart produces feelings that we do not see yet it can be felt and seen through the emotions of our appearances. We feel happy, sad, pleasure, satisfactions, anger, hatred, etc. Yet these are the feelings that have given out from the heart, as we all can feel it. It is the soul of our spirit that is being placed deeply within ourselves, for it is not to be taken away by anyone but ourselves. It is just like the sun, as we can see how bright the sun shine is but yet we also feel the heat given out by it as that is the energy of the sun. Thus, the concept of the sun is similar to the heart as the feelings we have within us as the powers to our lives as they are the energies for us to live with purposes. These energies coexist in many ways as they serve different purposes, because the world has different kinds of elements that we have to live with. Some circumstances are challenges to our lives, and the feelings we have serve as the energies to help us and drive us as to overcome the challenges. So as the victory we have would be an inspiration to many, while failures would also serve as a lesson to be learn for improvement and acknowledgement. Thus, the coexistence of two different opposite kinds would often help us and benefit us to live our lives in progression to a better tomorrow. We may thank God and the universe for all the creations, depending on what one believes, as they are the reason why we all exist today.

In ancient times, many have tried to understand the coexistence of many things in this world. It is because they wished to learn and understand more about the world. So as we still are learning today, as it has been an infinite and endless journey of education. To learn is to know, for to know is to understand, and to understand is to realize the existence and the purpose that it serves a great deal to the world. For one another, as it benefits us and harms us in many different ways. Yet, no matter whether it is happy or sad, pain or pleasure, easy or hard, love or hatred, we are only humanly to have all these because we are the beings that on this planet and evolve the world.

By Jack Ho