25 Years

25 years ago, I was just a little infant who just came out of a womb. My mother gave me my very life; I took my first breath and cried, and that's when the journey had began. A journey of a life that lives in the world of wonder, so many adventures and obstacles.

From an infant to a little kid who was trying to take a first leap of faith; learn to walk. That was the hardest thing any one of us could ever encounter, yet that was the very beginning of everything in life. That meant a lot, not just physically, but both mentally and spiritually in value. Something so simple, learning to walk a first step, can mean so much and yet it is something that we could hardly remember, as no one does remember their very own first step but it is only to be told as witnessed. My parents were happy to witness my first step as a child; a first step towards life, a step onto the world, and a first step into life.

Indeed, that was the beginning of everything; from walking to running, then from running to sprinting, and from sprinting to jumping. Amazingly, human nature can take its own course of nature to progress gradually and naturally. Yet, we learn to read and see things for ourselves; able to reason and differentiate the good and bad for us as taught to be. But not all were that way, yet I was lucky and blessed to be raised in a good manner in good faith and dignity.

Growing up as a kid; I was playful, kept many options to myself in all things that I could try. I had never stopped exploring, and most of all I had never stopped having fun according to my father. And according to my mum, I had never stopped eating too because I love foods. So perhaps, that was a very wonderful childhood of mine as being happy and active were the way to live for me. Yet, at that age I couldn't see the future but just to live as I wanted to be.

I remember, when my father first took me to the swimming pool when I was only 7...and that's when it all started, the passion for swimming. It felt good to play in the water, I loved it and I just wanted to stay in the water for as long as I could. That's how it is in human nature, we just love to do things that make us feel good or satisfied. So then, I took up swimming lesson and it became a sport to be a swimmer. But I was never too serious in swimming because as a kid I was still having fun a lot and never stop trying and venturing into other sports. And, I never questioned myself why I should stay to one sport instead of keep trying others. My father used to question and lecture me a lot regarding that, as he wanted me to focus well in swimming. But I just couldn't keep that virtue, as the urge to try new things in life was so strong that I couldn't resist...so, I have never bothered to stop trying over and over and over again, till these very days!

People always say how one person can be such a daydreamer in life that they do not live in reality. Yet, to me dreaming is a key to a start of something new; something that would carry you forward, or a step ahead into a new era. Dream enables you to see things that others do not see, dream tells you tales that others do not know off, and dream shows you the nonexistence into the existence. Then again, many people are tended to be blinded by reality because of the fact that there is a need to survive in this world. Survive? Survive as simple as it is, is just a word to describe what a human has to do to live in this world; in terms of the environment and the community or society they are in. Yet, that defines how carried away we can be when we are attracted to what is more important then ourselves, our very own life.

Some people find lives through what they do, some find it through what they can do, and some find it through how they can do. Perhaps, most individuals have their very own definition of this in their very own life. While here I am, I have my own as I have lived to tell a tale of my very own journey. I was once a dreamer; always dream of being somebody some day, always dream of achieving something some day, and always dream of getting somewhere or something some day. And however, those dreams were no longer fictional dreams when they have already become a reality in my life as I am the living dream, doing what I want and achieving what I want, living it the best I can to be what I want and whatever it takes all that can to catch a dream of my own; and that's my life, the dreamer of a living dream.

Living a dream was just a dream comes true, it is a reality to live as everything starts with nothing and become something. Believe it or not, spaces exist among us all and yet we do not intend to see it. When dream comes true, life gets interesting and it also progresses to the next level. As we grow older, we start to realize the importance of love; love of a soul, caring, partnership, passion and romance. Then, we started to become a soul searcher at some age and got deeply madly in love for the first time.

Being in love for the first time would be an unforgettable adventure for most of us; sadly, some people do end their lives for their first adventure, however I had mine with fun. From falling in love to falling out of love, from joy to pain, and from smile to tears; as dramatic as it could be, love comes in all forms of life. Yet, love is only a feeling of affection that surrounds every one of us. I am truly grateful for the love I have from my family and friends, and of course for the ones that I love and that I adore in my heart is highly appreciated too. And somehow, I just realized how much love I have around me and I am just never short of love in this world, especially the love of God to mankind himself.

For now, being the 25 and I only get to be 25 once, while looking back the past 25 years I am truly grateful for who I am today. Life today is just so wonderful as there were from the past as well. Today, I asked my mother "Mum, how was it like 25 years ago when I was born?" and she would never hesitate to recall the story over and over again. Today is the 25th time she told, as it is a story to be told once a year; a story of my birth. I love my mother, her love has given me so much in the past till presence. And to her having the first child was something truly wonderful 25 years ago; and to look at me now, I'm all grown up from a little infant 25 years ago. I was once relying on her and my father to teach me how to walk, now that I am on my own feet it is just so independent that I'm set freely in this world to live my life.

I love my life, as I love who I am for what I have become. Life has been a dream comes true in me, and life has been wonderful in me. 25 years of adventure and I'm still going, never stop living the passion that I have and never stop being the me that I have always been. Most of all, I have not stopped achieving what I wanna do in my life. 25 is only a number, what ahead is a greater future and everything is just gonna get better and better. Life comes in challenges remember, but I'm only human enough to do this because obstacles never fail for success, and to succeed is to learn from failure, and to learn from failure is to never give up. All that takes is just a little faith; a little faith that carries you through time. Time tells it all, all there is in life.

25 years of Jack; and here I am living the me that I am. Thank you all for the birthday wishes, I am truly grateful and pleased with your heart of warmth. May you be blessed in life and do whatever you do for the best that can be in your life...God Bless!

by Jack Ho

The Disappointment of a Sponsorship

One month of life in Australia, it's been a great experience; and not to mention I have learn a lot this time. Competing at the ITU World Championship was not easy, as it's not some hanky-panky race that anyone can imagine. The Australian Uni Games was fun, totally something different than I expected. But after all, I had a great time along with all the challenges I overcame.

Besides, behind all these great times and achievements there has been the downside of it as well. And I never thought how terrible this is to me and others; it is a total disappointment. My trip was all funded by Curtin University of both Perth and Miri's campus, which I am grateful. But in the end, due to the delay of booking resulted under-budget as prices of flights and hotel increased closer to travel period. It was never expected that such a simple task can be delayed due to management's policy and procedures; likewise, it is said this is just another typical Malaysian culture.

So, by the time I was in Gold Coast for ITU World Champ the domestic flight tickets between Brisbane and Perth were still not being purchased. Initially I had already planned earlier to travel back to Perth for 2 weeks before Australian Uni Games, which the Uni Games was 2 weeks later after ITU World Championship. This was basically help to cut cost by not traveling back to Malaysia back and forth, as it would cost highly and timely too. So it was all included in the calculated and approved budget, and it was their responsibility to make all the necessary bookings and arrangements. Yet, the ticket to Perth was only purchased the day before the World Championship.

I was pretty stress out actually, I couldn't focus well in my race having to worry all the bookings were not done appropriately. I had to chase after emails and do all the follow-up by myself, and having to race at World Championship I needed to get my race arrangement done too. It was a totally hectic week the moment I arrived in Gold Coast, and I was not happy with the situation I had to encountered especially with the domestic flight issue.

And when they finally purchased the ticket to Perth, I felt a relief so I wouldn't have to get stuck in Gold Coast that weekend. But, they only purchased one way ticket and not both ways because they were short of RM$700. So verbally, they told me they would work it out next 2 weeks to get me back to Gold Coast for Uni Games. In the end, it turn out uglier than I expected.

The return ticket was costing at RM$2315, one way only, when both ways only cost RM$2400 and they didn't purchase it fully because there was a short of RM$700. And coincidently, the week before Australian Uni Games was Hari Raya which happen that most people were on leaves in Curtin Miri. So that meant nobody was gonna get me my flight; I got an email from one of them saying needed to wait till everybody is back to work by the following week after Hari Raya. I was so pissed, absolutely pissed, when I saw the email written that way because it was so clear before that the Australian Uni Games was the following week. Hence, I knew something fishy was wrong. Did they actually pay attention to my schedule written in the proposed budget and competition details? Were they trying to twist story and run away from the situation? Being irresponsible? But it got even more interesting as time went along.

So I typed and email to Curtin Perth's EAFU coordinator and Uni Games coordinator; I told them I had to make a decision that if Curtin Miri couldn't get me the flight back to Gold Coast I would have to forfeit from Uni Games and return to Miri from Perth by AirAsia. I personally did not have the money to afford the flight back to Brisbane, I only had the right amount to survive in Australia for a month. Then, I was called up to attend a meeting with the coordinators in Curtin Bentley which it got very interesting during the meeting.

Firstly, the coordinators were telling me there was no representation of Curtin at ITU World Championship because I was not wearing the cycling jersey given during the race and neither of Curtin appeared on my tri-suit, and the achievement I made was more likely a personal achievement; and the following they said since if I was gonna forfeit from the Uni Games, I have to refund the amount sponsored because out of 3 designated competitions (ITU World Champ, Ananconda Adventure Race, & Uni Games) I only competed one. So that statement really confused me at first; because they mentioned I did not represent Curtin at ITU World Champ and in the end said outta 3 competitions I only represented ONE (ITU World Championship) which I went speechless for a moment. The cycling jersey was clearly to be meant for the Uni Games because I was gonna compete in the Cycling event; which also to define "cycling" jersey is meant for "cycling" event, and not triathlon.

My thought was; how could I wear the cycling jersey at a triathlon world championship because ITU has a set of uniform rules. This is a triathlon world championship organised by International Triathlon Union (ITU), and they are very strict. Even on my tri-suit, very limited amount of spaces are given to allocate sponsor's representation and it's very costly to get the printings done which was not included in the budget. I was competing in my tri-suit from previous sponsorship, as Curtin only gave me a cycling jersey for the Uni Games, and I even wore that cycling jersey during the open ceremony.

So, what was the actual point of saying I did not represent Curtin at ITU World Championship? Just an excuse or reason to get the funded money back? You be the judge of that. Then, the coordinators suggested that I better get someone to help me out to get the flight ticket back to Brisbane and get Curtin Miri to reimburse upon return; which I could see no guaranteed.

So after the meeting, I typed an email back to Curtin Miri regarding the situation if I do not make it to Uni Games I had to refund the total amount funded back to Curtin Perth and yet there was no reply not until a week later when I was in Gold Coast where they mentioned Curtin Miri could not fund anymore and will only explain why when I return to Miri. So at the end, I had to request a help from a friend of mine to purchase a ticket back to Brisbane to get to Uni Games; which means I BORROWED money to do so, so I am in debt of RM$2315!!! I was shocked when I saw the email from Curtin Miri while I was in Gold Coast; my mood was just being ruined and had no motivation to race at all because having to be in debt is really a burden and pressure.

After the Uni Games, I came back to Miri and attended a meeting on Monday morning. And, I was even stunned by what were being mentioned; they did not see how competing in ITU World Championship is a representation for Curtin (same point mentioned as Curtin Perth), and did not know this race is included in the budget as Uni Games was the only designated race (Wow!!!). So I got even more confused and stunned this time by the fact that there has been a big twist and turn of story and also pretending. And, Curtin Miri could not reimburse the amount for the return flight ticket to Brisbane because there is no more budget and couldn't justify why I had to go to Perth. I was just too shocked, because during the previous meetings it was mentioned clearly that staying in Perth will help to cut cost and traveling time, which was being approved in the budget.

I am really disappointed with how things have turn out; before I traveled to Australia, the races were stated clearly in the budget and schedule details (ITU Triathlon World Championship and Australian Uni Games) which was being approved, and the coordinators even made numerous confirmations where it was all out in the press media too. Then now, I am being criticized at some point by using the issue where I did not wear the jersey during the race in ITU Triathlon World Championship. Even before I left for Australia, in numerous meetings these races were mentioned clearly that I was gonna compete and I even get well wishes from everyone. And now, how can they pretend that they do not know I was gonna compete at ITU World Championship? Again, everything was stated clearly in the budget and schedule before it got approved and if not I would have not received so much money to go to Australia.

It feels unfair and really disappointed, because I was not the only one who raced in ITU Triathlon World Championship from Curtin University. Andrew Tyack who was racing in the sprint category and did not wear the cycling jersey during the race as well, yet he wasn't being criticised. And furthermore, the Curtin newsletter was published today and where they congratulated Andrew for competing in ITU World Championships Sprint Category and Ananconda Adventure Race, while I did not get any words for competing in the ITU Triathlon World Championship Olympic Distance (742th overall over 2000 triathletes and Uni Games (18th Time Trial). Andrew and I are both funded by Curtin to compete at the 3 designated races; which are ITU Triathlon World Championship, Anaconda Adventure Race and Australian Uni Games. So both of us are equaled that we competed 2 out of 3; and yet, I was the one being criticized of competing at ITU Triathlon World Championship was a personal achievement and not a representation for Curtin. Then being left to be responsible for the cost of debt; just because they are out of budget and delayed all the bookings which put the troubles onto me by pushing the faults onto me as well. How irresponsible is that?

So now that I am in debt of RM$2315, which feels a burden to me and I gotta find a way to work this out as Curtin Miri wouldn't reimburse. After all these problems that I see of how they push problems and avoid the fact from one and another; it does tell me how unreliable this sponsorship is. I am totally disappointed, so as many. Should I continue to represent Curtin and still market the EAFU Program for them? I doubt it, as I am thinking twice because I do not wish other athletes to go through the same thing as I did. It is just terrible, as this has really distracted me from focusing from the races.

After all, who is it to blame? To many of you out there, you know who and I don't have to spill it out. This is my blog and I write whatever I want where this is a freedom to write and speak out my mind in my own writings, this is a disclaimer to all readers before someone tries to sue me over this.

Gold Coast ITU World Championships 2009 – Race Day

Race day; it is the day that I have trained for, the day that I have been dreaming of, the day that I have been waiting to compete in for all my life in triathlon. I spent all my life swimming, cycling and running where it all came down to this very day, the biggest day of my life. I didn’t come here to lose or win, but I came to do my best with all that I have.

I woke up quite early in the morning to get myself ready for the race, as the bus shuttle leaves at 5am. Everyone seemed very nervous that morning in the bus; everyone was just keeping quiet and focused well ahead. So as I, kept my mind to my music and what will be ahead of me is a day of pride. I didn’t feel nervous for the first time in my life, never had I raced before in such mood as I always feel nervous and often had sleepless nights. But this time, it feels nothing and just plain freedom.

It was a very cold morning; I had to be in 3 layers of clothing to keep warm, but still cold I felt. So when I got to the transition area to get everything, as the sun came out, it was a good sign which was gonna be a good day. The ITU official announced the water temperature was 20˚C and so it had to be a wetsuit swim, I was feeling lucky with the wetsuit I bought.

The night before the race; I spoke to Kim and she told me about swimming and racing in wetsuit, the rush of lactic acid. I remember Kim told me how she felt during her race in the Commonwealth Games, it was in Gold Coast as well…the same condition. Then, I knew I was gonna encounter the same problems as she did back then.

I was never trained in wetsuit, and never wore one before. As I put on my wetsuit to get to the start, it felt really tight and hard to breathe as I could feel my chest was being tightened. But the water was too cold so I had no choice but to swim in the wetsuit. The start of my wave was at 8:20a.m; and everyone around me was really feeling intense, felt like a war in this age-group (25-29) as it is the toughest group. Yet I kept telling myself no matter what happens just go with the flow.

The sun was just right up ahead, shining brightly and could feel the wetsuit absorbing the heat which felt good. I took a few deep breath 30s into the race, as the clock ticks away I could feel the time has slowly die down…and slowly, I could not hear anything else but my breath and heartbeat. Nothing else matters now, slowly I felt alone in this world…and nothing on my shoulder.

“Hoooonnnnkkkk!” the race has kicked off as precise as the honk was sounded. We all ran into the water and with less than 10m the swim started. It was very crowded and everybody was struggling to swim away or over each other. The moment I got into the water, I could feel that coldness rushed into the skin of my face, hands and feet. And each breath I took felt icy cold, so I swam as fast as I could. In awhile, I could feel somebody touching my feet then the next minute hard kick into my eye where it was filled with water. So I quickly had it proper again in a matter of seconds. The 1500m swim felt really tough, as I was really struggling with the cold and the wetsuit. I was trying so hard to swim at race pace like how I did back in the tropics, but the more I try the stiffer it became. The cold just set in as distance per distance went by.

As I was approaching the end of the swim, it felt relief to get out of the cold. But I didn’t know what was gonna happen is the worst I would have ever experience; the moment I got out of water, I felt unstable as I ran towards the transition area. It took me about 15s to take my cap and goggle off, and I was struggling to get the wetsuit off as well as my hands were numbed. I wasn’t running straight into the transition area, I was running sideways instead. I felt very dizzy and I couldn’t see properly, I was breathing deeply and desperately for air. I found it difficult to coordinate where I was going, for awhile I couldn’t think right. I heard nothing but only my breathing, and as I was approaching my bike I nearly fell onto the ground as I couldn’t stand still. It was so dizzy that I couldn’t do anything right at that time, I was holding onto my bike in order not to fall to the ground as I know I would faint if I do so. I was gasping for more air to get my body back to normal.

When I finally got off from the wetsuit, it all felt much better when I was exiting with my bike into the 2nd leg. At that moment, I finally understood how lactic acid rushes in blood vessel feels like in the blood vein…first time I experienced this and it just felt so horrible. And I finally knew what Kim has to go through in her first world championship as well.

The bike leg was a non-drafting format, so it was like a time trial. I felt good and strong on the bike as soon as I recovered from the lactic acid rush. My legs felt fresh and I was going on a very consistent RPM, 35km/hr on average speed. But tough luck happened when I got caught in a group of about 40 triathletes. I almost knocked the corn on the road side so I eventually slowly moved myself out of that danger zone towards the right side. And, as I was riding outside and trying to get stable the ITU official was on the motorbike and chased after me. Then he gave me a whistle and shouted my number “1027 you are to stop right now by the penalty of drafting!” He gave me a yellow card luckily as a warning of the stop-and-go penalty. I was very pissed because of all the people in such a big group yet I was the one that get caught.

After I stop and jumped back onto the bike again, I was all alone again of course. But then, though the group was not too far away from me I heard the ITU official whistle at someone from the same group. I guess he was too busy calling people for drafting. Overall, I lost about 10mins from the bike leg and that’s a lot yet I feel grateful there was not a red card so at least I still finished the race without disqualification.

As I got off from the bike, my legs were still feeling as fresh as ever. I never felt like this before, but perhaps it is the cold weather here that didn’t get my body heated. When I got my shoes on and ran out of the transition area, I could hit race pace as soon as I was on the road. And, for the first time I ran a 15mins for 5km which I was really happy. But on the 2nd loop of the run, I was struggling with the cold again as I was wet from drinking water. That cold just really dragged me down; my hands were numbed again and my chest was feeling really cold. My legs started to feel the cold and it felt like getting stiffer, that was quite hard to run. So in the end, the run turn out to be a 41mins 10km where the loss time was around 6mins.

Throughout the race, I was basically struggling and battling against the cold. Now, I finally really understand how it feels like to race in cold climate. I finished the race with a time of 2hrs:26mins and placed 105th out of 115, and 742th out of more than 2000 triathletes from around the world. I know that many people back home do expect me to win this; but this is a world championship, it’s not any easy peasy race or fun race like what we have back in Malaysia as this is seriously a world championship that only the best gets to compete. Everybody is fit and strong in their own, and of course they take triathlon seriously and not just for fun. I saw many triathletes who are highly sponsored, and majority of them carried names of many. After all, it is one competitive field beyond anyone can ever imagine because you will only understand how it feels when you have done it.

First of all, I would like to thank my coach and a good friend, Ainsley Laing, who have always been helping all these years to achieve this and it would have been impossible without her. I would like to thank Curtin University of Technology Australia and Miri, Sarawak for their generous sponsorships, and also great thanks to the EAFU Program which gave me convenient to train even harder. And also, great thanks to Sarawak Triathlon Association, Awang Hashim, for giving me this chance to compete at world championship.

Truly, I have finally fulfilled my dream. It’s been a dream come true to compete here at world championship. It is the very day that I have dream of; from all the hard work I have made, all the tough times I’ve had in training, all the pain and struggle it is now worth living the life I have chosen. For my dream has come true, and doing what I do best in my life…this is my first world championship, and it is just the beginning of everything. Nothing is impossible, and you can do whatever you set your mind to.

by Jack Ho

Gold Coast ITU World Championships 2009 – Pre-Race Day

The journey so far has been fun and exciting, never thought I could experience such a fantastic wonder here in Gold Coast. Ever since I arrived I feel just like home, or better than home. The air is fresh; weather is cold and nice, pollution-free and beautiful landscape.

It has been really cold since I got here, still not climatized yet till today. I began to worry the moment I touched down in Brisbane International Airport; and when I step outside the airport, it was indeed really cold. I got to the hotel around 11pm; the sight is beautiful around Brisbane and Gold Coast. I got my bike set up the very night I arrived so I could test out the bike course the very next day.

Surprisingly, I didn’t have jetlag though I woke up at 5:30 in the morning. When I woke up, the sky was bright as the sun was coming up from the pacific. I thought it was getting 7am but to look at the time it was only 5:30am. People were already started down by the beach here in Surfers Paradise, cyclists were cycling on the street, while runners were out running by the beach. Since I woke up so early, I took my bike out to go to Southport to test out the bike course; it was freezing cold the moment I got out of the hotel here in Surfers Paradise. While cycling I was shivering and my hands started to feel numb. Then I knew I am gonna be in some trouble on the race day.

The bike course was flat, so it was expected to be a fast and lot of attacks leg. So as the run, a flat course of 2 loops of 5km. People here were in singlets, t-shirts, flip-flops and short pants; and it’s so cold for me that I had to be in my thermal gears and long sleeve! Even running was difficult with the cold, I hardly sweat at all though I cycled and ran really hard.

I went down to the Festival Village on Thursday right after the bike course test-run to do my registration. Yes, I was really the only Malaysian on the list of more than 2000 competitors. After the registration, I went around to the expo area. I got myself some 2XU gears; I always like 2XU anyway. When I got to the Felt Bicycles booth, 2 bikes looked very familiar to me because I knew I have seen them on magazine and TV. Then, I slowly look around those 2 bikes and it happened to be Jan Frodeno and Emma Snowswill’s bikes; without hesitation I asked the salesman if those were their bikes. Yes, true enough there were their bikes. Jan Frodeno left it there for display so he could pick it up that afternoon and go for ride. His bike is huge, XL in size if not mistaken and it’s got all the customized paint job done along with 5 Olympics rings as he was the Gold Medalist. So as Emma’s bike yet hers’ is so much smaller (customized accordingly to her size) with colored purple Zipp Wheels. I was allowed to touch and take pictures with the bikes; it felt like a touch of the golden throne!

Avanti Bikes was the best to look at because they were using the Shimano Dura Di2; it is really the best gear now! I got to see it first hand and experience how it works. The shifting is truly 100% precision, no more cables, smaller shifters, and of course it is much more advance than you can imagine. After all, the Festival Village was great!

I tried to swim the next day, just to get a feel of the water before race day. But when I got into the water, it felt freezing cold and that’s when problem come…I couldn’t breathe! I tried to swim, yet I couldn’t even finish 25m. So I decided to get a wetsuit when I get my bike check-in at the transition area. I quickly went down to the expo area to get the wetsuit; 2XU was too expensive, so luckily BlueSeventy was having a clearance sale so I bought at AUD$199, an Ironman Edition. I tried on the wetsuit when I got back to the hotel after I checked-in my bike, it felt stiff yet the buoyancy was really fantastic. So I was confident enough that I could finish the race the very next day.

*Pictures are in my Facebook*

The Fallen Path

The moment when I look back, it felt long...long enough to be forgotten how it was, how it felt, wisely all the memories were gone. The past has left a trail, a trail that I would never walk back where nothing else matters. I failed once, I failed twice, I failed more, yet I learned more and earned to be better.

Fair enough; perhaps the time has come again of all these very moments never thought love would reappear again, and float itself onto the surface of the oceanic paradise, and slowly drifted into the shore. I questioned myself numerous times, perhaps even more, yet I could not seem to answer the very questions that matter.

I was being left wondering once again, left nowhere but feeling lost and no direction to be seen. Yet, it has only been the very path I took of who I am. Till that day came, I met her...a her in the heart of soul which tells a tale of romance and love. Instantly, it felt just like how it was long ago. But this time, it feels even more different.

I could no longer describe them in words; actions have it all, eaten upon the moon slowly towards its 15th day. It was coming to a circumstances where the white mask has been thrown overboard again, nearly and closely to its avail. And so I did, walk with freedom towards a portal that set me to the nature of its course that called...love.

Indeed, my heart has been felt hollow for so long, so empty, the empty space as if it's been lost to another dimension unknown to mankind. Nothing has ever filled it up since God knows when, neither do I nor my soul remember. Yet, the judgmental figure of appearance has given stories that created the white mask. And, never been defeated in his league since then.

It felt tingle, a sudden static or movement felt deep within a heart. First thought death was coming from afar for a visit, second thought when the beat went tumbling up and down, and thirdly the warmth felt in the rush of a kind. Truly as she is, someone special indeed and never had an expected thought fallen into the path.

Lovely she holds in the smile, a little naughty in her way where the sun comes and shown happiness. Never have I met someone so special, special to the valleys and mountains beyond the imagine. Yet, what have that caused the the white mask to be unseen again, once more.

But then, it is the time when I realized if there is something more than meet the eyes, it's gotta be something that has unfold and filled the emptiness into a cold rainbow night. Wonderful sounds it may, or truthfully words to words from the very heart of mine.

Yet, a miracle has occurred itself in this very path. Quite a distinctive way must I portray, as true enough it has always been difficult to fall in love. Not that I'm demanding or higher profiling, but it is the fate of hearts that count in between.

Still I wonder, left with questions and thoughts of the soul. But determine as I shall be given a chance again to overcome such a wonderful manner; as she is just too special. A smile she has brought onto me never has anyone did, and foremost I enjoyed her company of laughters and joys in these very days of the horizon beyond the eyes' vision.

by Jacques Yvez

"Specially for Sharon; I've fallen for you...I love you"

The iron heart of a Woman

Strong she is, effortlessly day in and out she worked tirelessly. Heavy rocks felt on her shoulder as she had to carry them through the pressure and stressful environment, it was never an easy task for a woman to handle.

Having to wake up in the early, or even days before she had to consume all the time and effort for a wonderful day. Paid off indeed it has, tirelessly it was never an easy task. To many, simplicity bear in all minds but the reality bites.

For a beauty to venture into one of a kind, it's truly an amazing talent to be well spoken off. A heart of courage and will were never meant to be found yet meant to be discover. A well hidden soul beneath such has once again being brought into the daylight, what was once unseen has been the reality that meets the eyes.

While venture; risky and filled hazards are part of the nature's call. Never a beauty would dream of a day that steps upon such adventure. How unimaginable it is when the impossible defines all that thought.

Under the scorching heat, she did what she could to assure no harms to anyone but pure excitement and what has be known to everyone a memorable day. A day that created history, a gratefulness to the pioneers.

Never expected to witness a smile of her's. amazing it is. Indeed it has brought onto a smile to me, simply indescribable with no words afar. Further than beyond the horizon one can see.

Truly it is, a thousand words tell it all the tale one needs to know and remember. Remember for whom they are and never have your thoughts be fooled to the lowest expectations. Be ware and warned, the heart of an iron will is great and dominant as one would never expect.

Yet, such will and courage have once been found again.

By Jacques Yvez

Xterra Malaysia 2009

"Oh god, the rain is coming...", said Jack deep within his mind figuring that gloomy weather wasn't a good sign at all. Seconds later, heavy rain poured right after an average gradient slope with an easy climb. The cold droplets of rain water came pouring in like no other, without a doubt it felt good as heat was slowly being diminished.

Again, what was Jack thinking? "Oh no, it's raining. And...I can't handle the ride, damn!", for a moment Jack felt the difficulties coming as the ground started to become slippery.

"I better be careful, just like what Chris Lieto has advised not to crash", Jack reminded himself after the thought of Chris Lieto's wise advice given during a chat, and was indeed remembered well because Jack has always been someone to take advice seriously. Never a doubt, he spends no seconds away from paying attention to other things other than what is more crucial to his objectives.

It came to a thought, as it constantly popped out, where this was his very first Xterra and never before he had done this before, not even in biathlon. So Jack started to remember the days where he started mountain biking at the age of 15, those days were gone and never had it faded away from his mind. It felt just like how it was; the adrenaline and excitement, as if he was in a playground of his own, yet back to reality it was Xterra Malaysia.

Not long after the thought, it was time to bike into the oil palm plantation again. It was still raining heavily, the pouring sound of fights between cats and dogs were enough to shut the world. His Oakley began to fill with fog, and the trail became to alter into a slippery field. Then, the signboard appeared; remembering what Geoff has said during the briefing session, "Watch out for the caution sign which indicates the downhill section, and with 3 arrows". Knowing something was up ahead of him, in no time the slope began to descend as speed was picking up.

And moments later...

"Oh shit, fuckin' hell..." yelled as he falls to the ground, slamming his left wing onto the solid ground and slide downhill for a few seconds. The pain came at the very moment, yet it was a short while where it felt numb. Jack began to worry as he fell; it wasn't the concern of his body but the bike. Yet the bike was fine, so went on as he should...

Earlier before the race, it was a beautiful morning though it felt humid. Jack woke up at first, while Razani and Albert were still in bed. It was to Jack's surprise that he had a perfect sleep without a single wake, knowing his sleeping disorder didn't affect him would be what was gonna be a perfect day.

A day will be remembered by all.

When the sun was about to make its way through, Razani and Jack arrived at the race site just enough time to set up what the needs were. It was a good chat with fellow Sam Gardner, Scott Thorne, Mike Vine and Renata Burcher when Jack was lucky to line up together with them. Good old early morning English jokes set the mood for such a race. So as he has expected, the first Xterra Malaysia has indeed received good response internationally.

Jack pretty much enjoyed what was thought to be a tense environment but ended really friendly and fun. It was his first time meeting everyone whom he has known for years in Facebook and Pipot; Wendy (the most beautiful girl whom his ex-gf has always got jealous of), Elaine the bunny that goes happy-go-lucy in Facebook, Stupe (a fine gentlemen with great personality), not to mention Nadia whom Jack has just met seem really attractive after all among hundreds of women he could see that very morning, then of course there was Emma Bishop a fine lady with a beauty indescribable yet a woman of strong will and great spirit, Shazly the man who made it all possible to have Xterra in Malaysia and so as Geoff the coolest dude.

The transition area was a great set up, it was really according to the international standard, for awhile Jack could feel as if he was back in ITU triathlon format but no doubt he was in Xterra. Before Jack went into the sea for the warm up, he ran into this girl from MAS whom he had met the day before, Fiza, a really lovely lady with a great smile. As the very moment she appeared, that smile of her's really brought a beautiful day of butterflies and flowers flow in the air of freedom in love, perhaps. Fiza was there with her camera, there she had a little chit chat with Jack and caught a few shots of him in her camera. Hopefully she does keep a few pictures of him so she knows where to find, as both of them have agreed. Jack would definitely love to date her of course; such a fine and beautiful shall be missed not and yet be treasured and valued. Again, Jack hopes to see her again someday in the lake where he fishes.

So off Jack went to the sea for a warm up; the sea condition felt great and jellyfish has always been in his expectations, nonetheless it was in a pool or canal. The water felt good, and the current wasn't strong enough so the swim wouldn't be so tough. So as it was 8 o'clock, it started on time precisely. It was a great start and keeping it accordingly to the schedule was a great thing, thumbs up for the organizers!

Ahead into the swim, Jack ran into a beautiful jellyfish and left with love bites and kisses of lust, it felt great. Having used to train in the sea so often, Jack no longer felt jellyfish would come in his ways. Perhaps, it was just another kisses he always wanted which didn't stop him from swimming ahead. After the first lap in the second, he knew he was in the first pack with little swimmers ahead of him.

So when Jack jumped into the second lap, it was time to get close up and put in some speed. The swim leg was rather easy because the sea was calm and nothing difficult at all. Knowing the swim was smooth, yet what lies ahead in the bike leg could be a terror. As Jack jumped out of the water, he could hear Stupe announcing his name; for moment he felt proud to be a Mirian, but on second thought he's just another Malaysian. That ignorance was the only way to keep him focus in the race, nothing more should ever distract him.

When he was running into the transition, all that noises he could hear were shouting his name but not knowing who they were. Yet, he could feel Fiza was one of them. It took quite awhile to get out of the transition area, as he did not have his clip pedal with him. Jack was hopeful that he could finish the race in his running shoes.

Right after the first crash, it taught him a little lesson where he has to put more efforts into his technical skills. Yet, the bike leg has toasted him to waste 30mins as Jack could no longer go any faster after the first crash. Then, it came the second crash again as it was just too slippery. A decision had to be made in order to finish the race, and that’s when he remembered Chirs Lieto saying don’t crash and hammer on the climb. So Jack decided to take it easy on the bike leg, having to lose 30mins was a lot!

The last 5km was a killer, as Jack did not expect it to be the final path to the resort on the sandy beach. It was too soft to be ridden; the initial ride had let him wasted so much energy and putting all the efforts in were just too much of a waste for the run leg. People were cursing and yelling in that particular section as Jack could hear them out loud. But fair enough to Jack as this was Xterra, the more extreme it gets the better!

The transition into the run leg was fast; for a second Jack felt lucky to have his camelpack on and not to rely on water stations. As he went into the run…

“I didn’t come here to lose, I didn’t come here to win either…but I came here to finish, and not to give up”, said to himself in a soft voice.

Jack could feel the stiffness in his legs; it was tough as they were exhausted from the crash and sandy section. They cramped all of a sudden, though it was painful but it didn’t stop his running. From all the conditioning training he has underwent, adaptation is something Jack has learned most throughout his training regiment for ITU triathlon. And that same concept applied well for Xterra. Even with the cramp, Jack didn’t bother to stop running but just kept going forward. Not knowing what was pushing him through the pain, yet pain has always been pleasurable and delicious. It felt good to know the finishing line was too far from where he was, many bikini girls were by the beach having a good day. Not to mention he saw one nipple pop out as he was on the way the finishing line. And there it was, Xterra Malaysia 2009, the first race in Southeast Asia, and foremost it was Jack’s first ever Xterra. Finishinf 2nd in Age-Group 20 - 24 category, with a time of 3:07mins. Jack felt happy about it, and being the sixth guy outta swim was great.

It was indeed a great experience and fun; so many challenges came and made him a better person today. Knowing his weakness is the most important thing for improvement, having fear is the factor that gives a greater will and courage, and it is beliefs of self in the path to victory.

Once again, Xterra has marked its history making. Fantastic it was, extremely it was, and most of all the spirit of all competitors has it alive.

By Jacques Yvez