I really dislike Sunday, I mean I used to hate it a lot but recent months I got myself quite liking Sunday when there was a person you could spend time with. But now, that syndrome is back again! Sunday is really fucking killing me slowly inside. It feels like forever to be in a Sunday, everything just seems to have disappear or time passing by too slow. What the hell is going on?!?!? Sunday is a madness!
The most favourite day of the week for me is Monday, I love Monday more than anyone else could ever imagine. It is the day that starts everything, like feeling a rebirth and brand new sensation. I love Monday, so don't hate it though I know many people complain about Monday blues. Go the hell with it because you don't know how it feels to be stuck in boredom on a Sunday! I rather get busy and filled myself up with things to do. Maybe it is because I am still young, energetic and restless. So perhaps, some day I might like Sunday once again.
Life without you has been different for a Sunday, it is much more lonely than before. I can't help myself thinking that I have a day all by myself doing nothing, though I still workout and hang around at the bikeshop, yet that meant nothing because there is no companionship. I love my training, yet even on a Sunday now I do not have the mood to train! I hate this feeling, like Sunday seems to be forever, it's just not getting me right enough to live a day! Sleep, I did sleep for a long nap in the afternoon, still that made things worse by getting me feeling so dull and sober - I woke up like feeling "What the hell? It's Sunday afternoon and I'm bored." - I just wanna get busy yet I can't seem to find anything else better to do.
I got a list of what I can and would do on a Sunday:
- Training (Morning & Afternoon): Training alone gets boring!
- Nap: I could sleep all day long and still feeling bored!
- Laundry: I get them done too quickly and still I feel bored!
- Housework: Too easy and I still bored after that!
- Watch TV: TV just makes me feeling even more sober, bored!
- Online: The worst thing ever to do on a Sunday and there has been no one to chat with, bored!
- Blog: The only way to speak my heart out, not too bad!
So you see, I get bored really quick, like extremely quick. I've been through so many challenges in my life and it feels like nothing is ever more challenging, though I know there will be more challenges to come, but anyway, I'm prepared and ready to deal with it. So what else can I do????????? Shopping spree? Nothing ever to buy in Miri, other than hanging out in Starbucks and fall asleep on the couch in public. I still do hang out with my friends on a Sunday, and men's talk are nothing seriously, it's like talking over nothing and ends with nothing and nothing. Dating? Haven't really thought about it for a Sunday, so not in the idea.
I am starting to think that my Blog is my bestfriend now, in a way, because it is the only place I can speak my heart out. There is no one else in the world to listen to me, everybody is busy with their own life or so, and I am happy to all my friends who are either married or attached; you guys are blessed! But I'm feeling lucky enough that no one really reads my blog, so I say whatever I want and wish to. There're ups and downs, but most of the time I will just spill it out, or certain matters I wouldn't. Sunday huh? I guess I need to plan out my Sunday more efficiently compare to other days.
Home alone! That is the worst part now having the whole family away and leaving the house to me only! I am seriously screaming my head off like there is no tomorrow! I need to do my own laundry for 2 weeks, cook my own meals for 2 weeks, clean up the house by myself for 2 weeks, and guard the house for 2 weeks! How pathetic is this while everyone else is enjoying themselves? This is not right, taking care of the house is not challenging at all because I am being left...ALONE! Well, there's a Cat and a Dog. Oh my God, I just don't know what else to do with myself other than facing up the wall. I can't wait for my time to come to travel, I need to break free - we're soaring, we're flying! With me being left alone by everyone else, life is just so horrible - it's a fuckin' nightmare!!!
But overall, to come and think about it, there is a bright side to it. I may be bored, left alone, left with nothing, and all by myself. At least, I feel I am at peace - there is no war, no trouble, no disaster. I just feel fine, left alone in peace, very quiet, and untouchable. It feels...HARMONIC! Being alone feels like a blessed sometimes, even though it feels really boring and lonely, yet it is really peaceful like there is nothing to bother and to be disturbed about. I smiled at myself again today by the pool, and somehow I just said to myself "I'm fine, I'm just feelin' fine..." whatever that got me saying this I had no idea, it felt like saying so because I'm alone.
So I'm coming home, but there is no baby to call, there is no love to hug, no dinner ready, no cuddle to wake me up in the morning. It's just me by myself all alone, and I wish you were here, still.
Enjoy the new song on a Sunday!
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