I love Singapore!

My god, the rain just won't go away as it's been raining everyday since I got here on Monday. Boy, it just won't stop and always cloudy! No girls would go down to the beach if it isn't sunny, too bad!

Yesterday was kinda busy, I woke up at 7 to do my cycling down in ECP. I had a ride on the race course, felt good about it but it was cold, so cold! I'm feeling like in Europe now, it's cold everyday! I hardly sweat though I had a hard training. I saw couple of riders too, guess they were training for this weekend's race too. After done training, I went home to take my bath and breakfast. Around 11am, I went down to Holiday Inn in Outram to get my race kits. It's a long way to get there though, but it was fun looking at the beautiful Singapore city! On the way through CBD area, I saw the Singapore Eye, it's cool because they have one too. I was lost in the CBD area for a second because I couldn't find Outran Road after I got down from the bus, so I decided to take a taxi. The Holiday Inn is nice, it's luxurious!! So I went up to the Autrium Hall on the 4th floor where the Race Expo was. It was kinda crowded because they were lots of people and expo. The expo showed a few products from OSIM, Total Immersion, New Balance, Timex, etc. The people were nice, kind, organised, and helpful. There was no delay in collecting the kits because everything was all ready for everybody. After collecting myrace kits, I had a look at the expo. So I bought myself a Timex watch, and a New Balance Tri-Suit, they were in promotion prices so it was cheap and worth buying them. The Models at the Timex were really hot,sexy, pretty, cute, and gorgeous! I gave them a few smile and they started to entertain me by telling me about the watches, I enjoy smiling at them though..lolz! But too bad, they were too busy so there was no chance to get to know them. I also had a massage, a leg massage in the USqueeze thing promoted by OSIM, it was great!!!

After attending the race expo, it was time for me to get some lunch. So I went down to Orchard Road to go to Takashimaya for my lunch. I ATE SOMUCH FOR MY LUNCH, because I miss the foods there so much! I took some pictures of the foods I bought, I'll upload them when I'm back because I don't have the card reader to transfer. I really enjoyed my lunch alot by myself..lolz! After lunch, I went shopping in Takashimaya. As I was going up, I saw a shop selling lots of ME TO YOU teddy bears,it's not easy to find them because it's expensive and it's from UK. I've been wanting to buy this teddy bear for Zaza long time ago, so finally I found them in Taka and I bought one for her. It was kinda hard for me to choose though because they're all so cute and adorable, I love them. I tried to find nice Billabong flip flops but I couldn't find the nice ones that I wanted. So in the end I didn't get to buy any surf wear. After having a good time in Orchard, it was time for me to go home because I had a training at 3pm with my coach,

We had a hard workout, but it was nice after all. I didn't goout last night because I was feeling tired and lazy basically. So I had a good night sleep and a sweet dream..lolz! I woke up quite late this morning, and I only started my training at 9am. The pool was cold, so cold!!! I woke up seeing problems in my friendster though. I just don't like Miri or Sarawak or Malaysia for the reason that people likes to bother about each others' life. Zaza and I were just started to get along alright lately, and stupid twinky said something which ruined her mood, and also somebody who gossiped about her past!!! I pity Zaza sometimes,but I'll always care for her no matter what. Though she gets mad at me sometimes and rude, but I don'tmind because I understand how she feels when people are interefering their lives. I do feel kinda piss sometimes when she throws all her anger at me, I feel like a dummy, but I just gotta have more patient and I will. I'm praying to God that I wish everything will be alright between Zaza and I. In God's love and Mercy I trust, shall God's blessings be with us for always.

It's Raining..

I woke up around 7 this morning, it's weird because whenever I'm in Singapore I just don't feel sleepy at all though I sleep not for long. I was feeling fresh this morning, so I went off for a run in ECP. There were many people running this morning, mostly the army guys, and also some triathlon groups were doing their training as well. The weather was cloudy, as it's been raining since last night, so half-way through the run unfortunately it started to rain. That didn't stop me though because I just love the rain and I enjoy running here in Singapore, it's so nice!

I ran down to the race site to check it out. Everything is setting up fast there, the showet, the platform, the stage, the transition area, etc. It's still in progress though but it seems to be nearly done. I'm amazed by how fast these Singaporeans can complete their tasks.

After training, I was just home setting up my bike, and I also had a long chat with my coach. Cassandra was ready, so I took her for a ride down back to ECP again as I was heading there for lunch. I wanted to try out some local foods, so I didn't bother so much to go to Coffee Bean or Burger King or McD. On my way to the local food stalls, I saw lots of girls, girls here are great and I love them as I just can't take my eyes of them. I ate chicken rice for lunch, and it's so delicious. The quantity was large though, it's really one of the greatest food to eat in Singapore. The stall is called Leng Heng Chicken Rice, in ECP 2. As I was buying the chicken rice, the girl who was selling the it looked kinda cute and adorable, and hot & sexy! We kept on eyeing at each other, she looked kinda shy at first, in the end we gave each other a smile. So I guess I'll be going there tomorrow or the day after for lunch and dinner. The foods & the girls are just so...Great aye!

I was about to start my swim training just now, but the security didn't allow me to swim because it's raining. Yes, we can swim in Malaysia though it rains, but this is Singapore as everything is about LAW!!!! So I'm not swimming now, just updating my blog. About 20mins ago, I went out to the shop just right outside the condo where I stay. There's a shop selling ice-cream, Ice Cream Chefs, and it's really great, you get to choose the flavours you want and also put in whatever kinda snacks you like, it really rocks!

So I'm out to town yet today, but I'll be out tomorrow because I gotta go to the Race Expo to collect my stuffs. And also I'll be meeting up my friend for lunch in Orchard. I miss Subway Sandwiches, can't wait to eat it!

BaCk into the UrBan conCrEte

I'm currently in Singapore, have just arrived tonight. I've been busy over the weekend because I had to see most of my friends before I leave, so I was busy hanging out with everybody. It's been quite a hectic day today, because I was in the bike shop the whole morning to pack my bike. After all, I ended up in singapore safely now.

I'm trying to find some time to update my blog properly, because so much have happened for the pastfew days.

Right, that's all for now. I will update it tomorrow.

For the moment, I'm LOVING SINGAPORE!!!

P/S: I see hot chicks here!

Potraits

I love taking pictures, it's a hobby to me now as I take pictures everyday, anywhere, and anytime. I love it! Besides, it makes me happy to see nice pictures taken though, especially beautiful shots! So last night after dinner, I was in Coffee Bean with Ayesha to relax ourselves, then we took many pictures for the fun of it. Beautiful Potraits!

-Casanova-

Happiness Within

When the Odd meets the Eyes

Thought of Life

A Sip of Joy

Eyes of July

Thought if Life

Little Kinky Casanova Smile

Silence Fetish

Happy Dudes!

Tropical Passion Tea Latte

Coffee Bean

-Fin-

Dinner in Pizza Hut

Ben, Jeff (Birthday boy), Jasmine

My cousin & Ben.

Mum met Chi Chi, she was happy.

Pepperoni

Last night after training, I went out with my family for Jeff's dinner. Jasmine and Faisul were invited. The service in Pizza Hut was so slow and lousy, I got very impatient with it because the waiters were ignoring their customers. Worse service I've ever seen! We had a large dinner though they were only the 7 of us. We had 3 pizzas, one Hutter's plate, 8 soups, etc. I felt so full later after the dinner. Nobody ate the last pizza, so we took it home unfortunately.

We also met Chi Chi, and my cousin too. It was a coincidence to see them there. Also a couple of my friends were also there to take their dinner, so it was all a coincidence to have seen everybody around. After the dinner, it was time for me to go to Coffee Bean!

Ghost

I saw a ghost last night, she was in white. She has long hair and fair skin, she came to me.

This is the ghost!

But then, she gave me something! She gave me this, to give to someone.

Happy Birthday bro!

Coffee Bean

Coffee Bean

Right, guess I'm truly addicted to Coffee Bean. I love it there, so last night I was out in Coffee Bean again. I was just hanging out, and online surfing the net. It was cold ther though!!! I really like it there alot, it's just feel so different in Coffee Bean, perhaps it's because of the atmosphere. Truly enough, I like to be there rather than anywhere. Once I step out from Coffee Bean, the whole feel is different again. So I enjoy my time in Coffee Bean!!

Was chatting and blogging the whole time

Something Fun

Chocolate Heaven, it's so nice!

I saw someone in Coffee Bean a night ago, it was Lizzie. I have not seen her since our break up, and I have always wish not to see her. So last night was a coincidence, then I pretended I didn't notice her at all, she's completely invisible to me. I was doing my thing by the laptop, then suddenly I notice a skinny girl was walking towards my direction from far, then passed me by as I was concentrating on the laptop. I could hear her giggling with her friends though, and luckily they were sitting outside.

Sun in the Mirror

It's all coming back to me now

I love this song, it's so nice!

If I touch you like this..
If you kiss me like that..
It was gone with the wind..
But it's all coming back to me now...

mY LitTLe Drink

-Orange Fetish-

I was out in Coffee Bean last night after my training. As usual, I got nothing better to do at home so I hang out in Coffee Bean every now and then, I love the atmosphere there, just so nice. Not to mention they got free Wi-Fi though so I'm there to use the connection for free. My favourite drinks are Ice-Blended Honeydew and Hot Vanila, I love it! As a regular customer, the Coffee Bean staffs know what I want and like, so the service is superb. I met Leon last night, was kinda suprise to see me, but it's no suprise for him to see me because he knows I'm a Coffee Bean junky.

So last night I was basically just continue with my blogging and hanging out. I had my dinner quite late though because I was busy typing. I got to chat with Stefanie as she was online, she's quite funny. After finishing with my blog, I went up to McD for my dinner, had a chicken foldover.

After dinner as we were going home, there were some guys fighting over some bar girls in Parkson. One of the girl got punch in the face because she was trying to stop them. It's local chinese gangster guys anyway, so it was quite a gangster drama. When I saw the fight, it reminded what happen to me and Zaza one year ago back in Parkson during our second date. We were out for a movie that day because it was Zaza's birthday, but we met Azme's all of a sudden. Azme was being very furious and rough with Zaza, so I stopped him from getting close to her as he was harming her and threathening her. He wanted to start a fight, but I had to get Zaza and her brother to safety no matter what. So Azme was chasing us around Parkson and shouted like crazy. It was scary for Zaza though, but somehow I felt glad there I was there to protect her and save her from hell that time. Oh well, I care for her so much but yet she only remember my mistakes, and not my good deeds for her. And I guess what I've done is never good enough for her as she doesn't appreciate it, sadly.

Coffee Bean! Best spot to hang out in Miri! =D

Suicide Attempt #1

I couldn't control myself yesterday, because my adrenaline was pumping basically when I started to think I should go cycling without my helmet, and so I did. I did a 70mins ride, some speed , hill climb and cadence work. But I find it awesome though, because I could feel the rush of the adrenaline whenever I surpass a car at high speed. I was wishing I would die or get a bad crash or something, so that I can get over my break up and forget the world. I told myself that the sky was sunny, the breeze was fresh, the heat was high, thus it was a good day to die!

I was going 40km/hr on constant, then at come parts I was drafiting behind big trucks where the speed reached 55km/hr. I felt the fun of going high speed, and I could feel the adrenaline rush. I haven't felt the adrenaline rush for so long since I last did the extreme adventurous thing I used to do. My coach has said it before, at some stage I'm a very self-destructive person. So it's true I find it only the adrenaline makes me feel better now, so I'm telling myself to do more extreme stuffs. Knowing the danger is there, but it is fun when you can deal with it then survive it. So I cycled without my helmet, does it sound dangerous? Well, it will seem dangerous when the crash happen. But after all, I'm doing what I can to make me feel better again, and I will attempt all the risks over and over again just like before.

ThE PrAnkY EvEniNG

I had a great Sunday evening with my buddies, it's been a while that I have not hung out with them for so long, and for AGES! The only time I see them is at the Nick's bike shop, so everybody would just hang around there on a Sunday morning. I always go to the Bike Shop on Sunday morning after my training, because sometimes I had to get my bike a service or clean up. So yesterday, the MMBC (Miri Mountain Bike Club) had a barbeque at Esplande after the usual Sunday afternoon ride. They only do this once in a blue moon, perhaps once every 6 months! I went there around 5pm after the bowling match, because gotta help up the guys to start the fire.

William was the MAN to start the fire, it was hardwork for him...lol! It was funny, because while firing up the coal it was tiring for him so Tim came with a can of beer to give him that boost of energy. Tim is the BEERMAN! That's why he's so huge, and he never stop drinking beer. You burger mate!

It was brilliant, because Pei Liang brought an air blower so William was using it to get the fire in the coal going. It was hard work because ya gotta role the blower in high cadence to get the wind in high speed. And it's got that irritating sound when you role it, and it's just so annoying.

William made this chilli, it's a mixture baby hot chilli and Maggi's Chilli Sauce. It was really spicy, and we all had no idea how posibly William came up with such an idea. But it tasted really good though, we love it and it really spiced up al the foods! So today's food for thought is MIX ALL THE CHILLIES ya have at home!



Okay, I know it may seems annoying that William's doing all the thing but honestly he was the one who did everything! The guy in the yellow jersey is Kevin, he was slicing the mango for everybody and I ate lots of it. I'm a fruits junky, no complain!

I got to see Nabila and Nariza by the beach they were hanging out there too with their friends. So I rode off to see them, plus Faisul was there too, he's the guy at the back of the picture in the red shirt! Zaza's friends saw us, and Nabila was kinda piss off because she knew they were gonna report it to Zaza or anybody in her family. Well, she's got a family of gossip folks who are qualified to work for BBC or CNN. After all, it was nice to see them.

William again, but he's been drinking alot since he ran in the Hash. So he's got a treasure chest full of beer, his favourite Tiger Beer! I don't get it why so many people like Tiger, to me Carlsberg is better though. But anyway, everybody's got their own taste. I didn't drink beer last night, because I would not drink it. By far wine is the only alcohol I take, nothing more than that even my favourite vodka, totally banned from drinking!

Dr.Hu, Mr.American, Richard, Nick, Eric, and Neil (Guy in grey). Whenever these guys or all of us stick around, the only conversation we always have is about BIKES, then GIRLS, then SEX, and then dirty JOKES!

Right, everybody was hungry! We were all waiting for the bbq foods; chicken wings, porks, and Danish sausages. We all had a good time dining together though. Somemore, it was a beautiful night after all as the sky was filled with stars. It was so relaxing! I tried not to think of Zaza though, because she doesn't even care about me so I had nothing more to bother about. Life just gotta go on with a happy smile. Besides, I was texting with Ayesha last night as she was kinda depressed over her ex-bf, I felt sorry for her.

This is Ai, she has always been my drinking partner. So she had beer and I had wine, but she was a little drunk and hyper, and I was hyper because I had too much wine. So we got a picture looking like this, because this is what happen when we get hype! Fly fly kisses!

So it was getting late, one by one start to drown. These guys were drunk, because they had beer mixed with wine, not a good idea mate!

The Beerman was getting hyper, he was pushing Dr.Hu to gulp a whole cup of wine! Everybody had to, and I had 3 I think, can't remember, so I was feeling a little hyper.

The picture was kinda blur, sensitve Sony! Eugene was posing, but too bad the picture is quite blur.

Eugene and I, we are The Decepticons..lolz! We were having a good time, nice drinks and foods, and a beautiful night somemore. Eugene is a funn, we always had lots of jokes and trash talk together. Something really fun to do and cheer everybody up.

The minute before he was sitting up straight, by the next minute he was lying dead asleep. Guess he was having his fantasy, dreaming some babes aye!

Right, the man who ran around with the wine forcing everybody to drink, he was down finally! He got himself drunk, so he was being so funny. We had a good time having pranks on him and bullying him.

Somehow, he fell asleep on the road...lolz! Lying dead on the road though.

Everybody started to decorate him, and playing pranks and joke around him. It was funny because everybody had a good laugh. William was so drunk that he started blabbering and simply talk in different language. He went to take a pee in the bush, and the next thin you know he disappeared as because he was feeling drunk and fell into the bushes...lolz!

The next minute, the dead man woke up to PUKE! It was a big puke he had!

And so he was, fell asleep at the back of the trunk! After all, it was a great night for everybody. It was fun, and I enjoyed it. It's been to long that I did not hang out with, but I was glad I did. I miss my friends, and I enjoy having them in my life.

The Bowling Game

My beloved colleague Ah Ngan, he was doing the registration.

Everybody was ready to fire it up!

The Bowling Game was fun on Sunday, I had a funny time though. I was supposed to be with my own team from Petra, but I ended up with the SHELL team. Some of my colleagues were teasing me as jokes, saying that I got hooked up with Shell so early as I got the sponsorship, that was also to get those freaky rumours bitches to hear and get them to talk more. I gotta admit I was really weak in bowling, and I was so lousy. I only had one-strike! A few throws went into the drain! But I had a great fun with everybody though, as I won't be seeing them anymore once I start my study. I was running up and down teasing everybody by saying KFC's coolest phrase "Never eat rice ah?!?"...lol! It was funny!

Lately...

I've been feeling so bored, nothing else better to do other than my training. But it's been a little hard for me to focus in my training though, as I often lose my concentration. I miss Zaza alot, and the thought of her brings back alotta wonderful memories.

I tried and been doing my best and all I can to not to think of her, but of course I can't deny what the truth is here in my heart. I don't live my life in denial, I've always been straight and honest about myself. So it's really hard for me to avoid and ignore many things in my life.

But no matter what, I really gotta pull my focus together and stay on in triathlon. Kim gave me a quote last night; "Do something everyday that you don't wanna do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain"
She's right, and I'm really glad she's trying her best to support me too. She told me I gotta focus in triathlon no matter as my race is only 6 days away, so close! I just feel like banging my head when I think about it.

The yoga has helped me though by helping me to stay calm, which I feel glad as I don't get furious and overreacted anymore. I'm much more calm, and always remain peaceful. I feel like a monk!

Gateaway to Heaven

Ironman, you're my destiny, you're my dream, and you're my goal.
I wanna race in you, I wanna feel you, and I wanna feel the pain.
Every single challenge is what it takes to survive you, the pain, the struggle, the heat, the wind, and the mind.
You are the greatest, the greatest of all!

You're my way of life, and I will follow the path.
You're the gateaway to heaven, and I will walk right up to the Pearly Gates.
I will struggle, I will suffer, but I will finish!
Every single breath that I have, I wanna race my heart out.
I rather die trying than not trying, no matter what it takes.
If crawl I have to, walk I have to, or even role, I will finish.
Ironman, I will come to you.

The Ironman

The Ironman, it's in my blood. It's my way of Life, it's what I do. It's what I live through with, the Ironman. The pain that proves I'm more than Human. the glory that cannot be described. This is the Ironman!

The Home

This is the one and only place I call Home. I grew up by the pool eversince I was 7 year old, and now I'm 22 (23 soon) but I still go to the pool everyday just like when I was young. The pool is my playground, I love the water, I love the quiet atmosphere, and I love the wide open sky when ever I lift my head up. The pool is a peaceful place, the only sound that I could hear most of the time is the water, breeze of the wind, and the birds that whistle. It's a wonderful place to be, I find peace and joy in the pool. It brings so many memories of how myself have grown up. Since 7 year old, I played in the pool, then I learnt to swim, later on I started to train in the pool till present. My existence at the pool has been over a decade, and I love being there.

When I lie myself down in the pool, I see beautiful sky, beautiful sunlight, beautiful clouds. I feel the cold of the water, as it gives me peace. The air is fresh, as the breeze is cool. I find paradise in the pool, and it gives me a great smile. Then I know, I live another day to smile.

I Wonder

I had a good training yesterday back in the pool, it was an endurance swim. It wasn't easy though because I was following Coach Sazali's programme. It was tough but I enjoyed it alot! But the pool was kinda crowded yesterday so it's a little hard to swim. After my main sets, I just pulled off from the pool and headed to the gym. After all, I had a great workout.

I woke up around 4 plus this morning, very early! And I did a 55mins easy run, I felt good at first not untill I could feel the pain in my left leg again. I guess my old injury is back though, Nerve Entrapment! Nobody likes injury for sure, as it only slows you down in your training. I really gotta take good care of my legs, as I don't wanna be delayed in my training.

Each and everyday now I would do yoga, it has really helped me to relax and destress myself. I've been doing the meditation, and it's very nice. Each day I only meditate for about 10-15mins, as I'm only a beginner. An Indian guy thought me though, and he's really good in it. I've learnt so much from him, but there's still more to learn. Meditation is a way to find inner peace in ourselves, thus your life can be more wonderful once you start to meditate. I start to see the changes in me after each meditation, and I really hope it can take away my depression.

I've been lonely though lately, because life just feel so different now. I have no one else to care for me and stand by my side. I have no one to share my joy and laughter with, and no one to hear my heart. It feels really bad being alone, as it's like being kept inside darkness. Nothing seems to cheer me up, eventhough I've tried to keep myself busy and not think of anything. Honestly, I miss Zaza alot. I miss having her in my life, I miss all the happiness and laughters we had, I miss her caring, I miss her smile, I miss her words that motivate & support me, I miss her, I miss every single thing about her. But too bad, I'm all alone, and it feels so hard to miss somebody that you love, but yet it's lost. This is another tough time of my life, and I gotta get through it. I don't know what's gonna happen in my life as everything just don;t seem to go anywhere. I really need someone to be by my side and support me. I wanna forget what's in my past, and have a brand new life. I wanna do it by myself but yet I feel too weak to, as I'm drowning and dwell in darkness.

I wanna get up and stay happy as ever and better than ever! Eventhough I miss Zaza alot, but what can I do? She hates me for the mistakes I made, and won't forgive me as it's too much for her. I guess there's nothing much I can do about it though. Sometimes it is weird because people would not remember the good deeds in you, but instead they remember the mistakes that you have made. Is it because they don't appreciate you? Or is it because they're are too selfish? I don't really know what's going through Zaza's mind as we hardly speak these days, but all that i hope for is she will be alright. I know we were so much in love while we were still together. We had so many wonderful memories together, memories that I've never had. I can't really forget such wonderful memories for sure, as it's the true love, joy, and happiness that we have shared. But well, everything seems to be unhappy now.

And I'm only praying to God for a better days, and hopefully God has his mercy. I miss Zaza, and I hate being alone. But whatever emotion that I'm going through now, I know the sunshiny days will come once again!

LIVESTRONG!

Alone

Me, playing the Violin.



I was out cycling yesterday, I did a 70mins high cadence ride.It was very windy though, so I was fighting against the wind the whole time. I love it, as I could the challenge. After cycling, I did a little run on the track just to get my legs cool down a little. So after all, I had a good training yesterday.

I hope my training will be back to normal again, because I haven't been training well lately due to my illness last week. And the anti-biotics have slowed down my body a little. So I guess I'm pushing myself hard to get back, and I wanna train like I always do!

My life has been a little boring though, I got nothing else to do other than training. Most of the time I just stay a home when I'm not doin my training. My handphone is so quiet now, no sms as often as before, and no calls. When I'm down by the beach, I'm all alone taking a walk. Even out for a little meal, I'm alone too. So I start to feel that loneliness in me somehow, just me and myself and my bike.

I smiled at Cassandra everyday knowing that she's the only one who would company me. But when I talk to her, she doesn't respone. When I smiled at her, she doesn't respone. But she only go where ever I take her to, because she's a bike (If only she's a Transformer). I guess this is how my life is being "single". I got nobody to bug me, nobody to bother me, and nobody to cheer and laugh with me.

I wonder how long am I gonna be like this, perhaps as long as it takes to be. But after all, it's just me..standing alone in this world...

When You're Gone

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otMB3WVQNVg

P.S: Special dedication to Zaza.

Do You Know

Do you know [x3]

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know [x4]
Do ya

If birds flying south is a sign of changes
At least you can predict this every year.
Love, you never know the minute it ends suddenly
I can't get it to speak
Maybe finding all the things it took to save us
I could fix the pain that bleeds inside of me
Look in your eyes to see something about me
I'm standing on the edge and I don't know what else to give.

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know [x4]
Do ya

How can I love you [x4]

If you just don't talk to me, babe.

I flow through my act
The question is she needed
And decide all the man I can ever be.
Looking at the last 3 years like I did,
I could never see us ending like this.
(Do you know)
Seeing your face no more on my pillow
Is a scene that's never happened to me.
(Do you know)
But after this episode I don't see,
you could never tell the next thing life could be

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know [x3]

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away.
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed.

Do you know [x7]

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
(Do you know [x3])
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed

Do you know [x3]

[Chorus]
Do you know what it feels like
loving someone that's in a rush to throw you away
(Do you know how it feels)
Do you know what it feels like
to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed

Do you know [x4]
Do ya

Do you know [x4]
Do ya

Do you know [x4]
Do ya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcZVpaVn-eM

Sacrifice

Somethings are just not meant to be told, but to be kept in the heart. I do feel very bad about it as I have certain things in my life that I just cannot tell Zaza about it. That is why I always have to tell white lies to her, and there's no way I can make her understand.

I do feel a little regret that I didn't tell her all the truth and what's going on. But it is only me, myself, and the people I deal with know about it. I have to make a choice, a decision that requires sacrifice as it's either you lose one or another. It is only being kept within myself, and I have no way that I can ever tell Zaza about it. I don't really feel alright keeping all these secrets in my heart though, at some point I do feel like I wanna tell her everything but I just can't as I don't have a choice.

This is the biggest sacrifice I have ever made so far in my life, and biggest decision I've made. There's no turning back for me because what done is done. I feel pity for Zaza as she has to break up and dump me, eventhough to her the reason for breaking up with me is because I'm a flirt. But the real truth lies beneath the skin, it's a decision and sacrifice that I have to make thus I'm required to play a drama so it all seemed like I'm the flirty guy who's been disloyal to her so she can dump me.

I've got no choice, and I'm really sorry. I've made a deal for the sake of the future of my life, and my dreams. I've gotta do what I have to do, and I have no choice. Eventhough I loved Zaza alot and it was so much pain for me to see her suffer, I find the sins in me. It's a sacrifice that I have to make, or else I would lose both. I really feel bad that I didn't get to tell her what is the real truth, because all that she can think of is I flirt behind her back and not being sincere, but that's just a set up that she would never know.

I've got what I have always wanted, and I have to lose Zaza as a price. It's either for one or another, nothing is for free in this world as it all comes with a price. I feel sorry for Zaza at the same time, but I got no choice because it's for the sake of my future and dreams.

Forgive me, and I hope God will have his blessings on everybody.

Everybody Knew

This morning, I was chit chatting with a fellow colleague of mine. Unfortunately, I was a little suprise to have discover their expectations. Most of my colleagues have always been waiting to tell me certain things about Zaza's family, but it's too late to do so now. It's alright though as it helps me to be more aware of Zaza.

Everybody knew I was gonna be in trouble when I was with Zaza, nothing good would occur. Many of my colleagues have tried to warn me earlier, but it was hard for them as they knew I was so in love with Zaza and I was closed with her mum. Thus, it was tough for them to warn me and tell me the true characters and attitudes of people in Zaza's family, especially her Mum and cousins. Not that I'm saying bad things about her family, nor trying to criticise her family, but it is just facts and truth about them as many people know them well.

A colleague of mine was telling me her story of how she knew Zaza's family members, and how it is to be one of their friends. Zaza's family members have attitude problems basically, that's why many people don't really mix around with them so much unless you're the gossip and disrespectful type. Previously, Zaza has already told me about some part of their family members, and I do pity her as her life has always been disturbed and interrupted. That's why I always told her not to bother about them eventhough if they wan to, but it is hard for her and she lives in that family. So my colleague told me alot more than I have known, and I started to realise how fake can some people be. Thus, it is to my suprise that Zaza's family members are mostly busybody, snobby, gossips folks, disrespectful, inconsiderate, selfish, and most of all they think they are the best in this world!! Zaza's mum expect many things to be perfect, but yet there's nothing can be perfect in this world for sure. I guess it's only in her dream, and hopefully someday she would wake up and smell the coffee. But I pity Zaza as she has to live her life in exile with them. She has alwasy been unhappy because of her mum, I really pity Zaza in this case as she has to be controled by her mum. I really hope her life would be filling with sunshine one day.

I'm not backstabbing them, but this is just what most people have seen in them because they knew them well and also they never wanna get close with them. So another colleague's husband has long knew one day I would be ended up having lots of problems because of Zaza's family. Thus, I did end up having problems like the rumours which broke me up with Zaza. I should have seen this coming, and listen to Zaza's warning too as she has ever told me not to talk too much to her mum but I didn't listen. Thus, everybody has expected something would happen. But at least most of them feel glad that I'm not with Zaza anymore as I won't be trouble. THANK GOD!

Weekend's Breathe

Starting Point

Cassandra in T1

The Transition Area


I had a great race Saturday, was a duathlon. It was a short race though so I took it as a training, 1km Run/17km Bike/ 5km Run. It was a fast sprint as it was very competitive. But after all, it was a great training and I enjoy it alot. I came 3rd placed, which I was happy enough because my cycle leg was very fast. But after all, I had fun! After the race, all of us were out in the Boat Club for a breakfast and chit chat. It was fun as I have not been hanging around with my friends for so long, so I really enjoyed it alot.


The beach was beautiful that morning, but the rain came somehow. So it was cool and nice after all, lovely morning. After breakfast, I cycled to the office to get to work. It was quite boring in the office though, nothing much to do. At noon, when I was about go home, it rained heavily and no one would fetch me so I had to cycled home under the rain. When I got home, I had to clean Cassandra as she was wet and dirty, pity her! I took a nap after that, then I went off to the pool to do my weight training. I've been feeling really bored at home all these while, as I'm single and I got nothing better to do other than training. Life does feel a little boring without a companion, but somehow I'm enjoying it.


On Saturday, I was out in Hil's house for his farewell party, it was a cocktail party anyway. I met alotta my old friends, especially DAVE ELFORD! He's my drinking buddy last time, as we were always out crawling bars and hunting for girls. I have not seen him for over a year as I've been exiled from clubbing. But I was lad to see him, and we made alotta jokes. Nic was there too, as she has returned from Singapore. I wa glad to see her, she's really my good friend.


Sunday morning was great, I went down to the track to do my training and it felt good. After the track session, I did yoga. It was my first yoga lesson, and I love it! An Indian guy thought me yoga, and he's really good in it. The Sunday morning was beautiful, the morning breeze was cool and beautiful sunshine. So I was down in City Fan after my training. Yoga has helped me alot, I felt so different after meditating. I feel so much more calm, relax, and better. I never felt so good before, but after the yoga lesson I feel fresh and new. So I'm doing my yoga everyday as a training too, because it really helped me to relax myself alot. And I'm not bothered by so many problems anymore, I feel free and peace. Yoga has really given me the calm and peace, and my life has come to a total change...=)