Exposure

Now I know what I need most for my training, it's the exposure of racing. In training, I can do well and perform superbly, but when it comes to competition everything turns the other way round. So the best solution now is to race more often, as racing is one hell of a good training.

The psychology of racing and training are 2 different matters. In racing, you get pressured and pushed. Once you're ahead, you would never wanna turn back or drop back, so it keeps pushing you to stay on and move ahead by knowing other athletes are right behind you. So mind would say don't let them catch your tail, and get the hell outta their sight as fast as you could. Thus, the intense pressure present in mind during the race is very tense, and that is a very good training. The heart rates go really high up as well when you're in a fast pace, so it's one hell of an anaerobic training. And at the same time, the adrenaline pumps through the blood and all over the body in a high speed measure.

In training, it's the different. Nothing seems to be pressuring you, especially when you're training alone. It's only your mind that keeps telling yourself that you can do it, just do it. But having no pressure like in the race, training's psychology is most likely relaxing. You can slow down if you choose to, you can rest if you choose to. Even if there is a coach beside you, you still can rest if you're too tired because your coach allow you to as the coach doesn't want you to overtrain or get injured. Thus, you get your freedoms in training, but you're on your own when your in a race trying and dying to get the hell outta race course! Escape from Alcatraz!

So race training is what I have to do more from now onwards! Race race race!

Idiot

Yes, I'm going to Curtin, gonna be a school boy again sitting in the class!

Huh...But Curtin won't allow me to enter first year straight, so I gotta do their foundation first. I'm a little piss off with it, but to come and think bout it positively it's good because I have not been studying for 3 years already. So It's better that I get everything back first rather than risking in the degree.

Miri International Triathlon 2007 (Gallery)

Here ae the pictures taken from last Sunday...

I was in the second group, Chase Group!

Guy from Macau in front of me.

I was already melted into the run, so hot!

Finally, running towards the finishing line. What a relief to get outta sun & heat.

Frank and I, he was exhausted!

Eugene, Barry, Me, & Ah Wei..

We finished!

Winners of the Relay Category.

I got my prize (9th Placed, 16-29 OD)..=D

I got another prize (3rd Placed, Sarawak Closed)..=D

Weird old Syaza again!

She's really weird, is it because she's only 18 or what? I don't really know what to say when it comes to her. When I don't care or bother about her, she nags and tends to think I'm off with other girls (Yes, I'm single and I do have my freedom to go with other girls!!), then she would get so mad and piss off about it. Jealous? Huh..she denies it!

Yeah, when I care about her, she tends to think I control her! Oh weird, sometimes I just don't know what to do because I'm not being appreciated at all! She blames me alot and disrespect me either.

Oh well, what I can do best now is best pretending! *Grin*

Gettin' a Change

Yesterday was a whole day of relaxation, no training and nothing. But in the evening, I was out riding around the neighbourhood with my brother, just something fun to do.

So I'm getting a change in my study, not gonna go to Open University anymore. But I'm gonna take up a Full-Time study in Curtin, better recognition and education. Lots of my friends are in Curtin, so I would expect to see them around. I guess by studying full-time I can have more time on my training too. In fact, Curtin is located in the outskirt of Miri so it's quite a good training ground though. I can cycle to the campus as it's only bout 15km away, good for the legs.

I'm happy about this because I can at least get a stable future, rather than working and depending on triathlon. At least, a degree gives me a hope. So I'm gonna achieve my dreams and do my best for what I like in my life!

No Triathlon, No Life...

Miri International Triathlon 2007

It was my first for 2007 this year, what a kick off. It's been six months I haven't been racing, and 3 months of base training after recovering from the injury. But I must say, it was a great race!

I had a very relax swim, a very furious cycle leg, and a burnt out run! The weather was hot and humid in Marina Bay, because the area was like a desert as there's no development yet. But yet, the wind was strong outside. I didn't expect much for this year's race, because I haven't reached elite training level yet as I'm only in base training level, so all I wanted to do was to finish the race for a 2007 kick off.

The race was in the bay, it was nice, lovely calm water. The course was 2km instead of the standard 1.5km, so many people were struggling. My swim was long and relax, but I had a good chase after a couple of guys back in the water. After the swim, I sprinted to the transition area without feeling tired or exhausted, I was still very calm and going easy. I had my gears on and push my bike off to the road. The cycle leg was fun, and FURIOUS! I was cycling in a group of 5 initially, but we were going constantly as we didn't wanna burn out and would like to save the legs for the run. So everything was smooth not untill the when we almost reach the 20km turning point, it was furious when Malaysia's best caught up; Wong Ah Thiam, Sharom, and Razani. They were right behind us at first, but then they started to sprint up the hill before reaching the turning point, so they were breaking away from our group thus I quickly pedal hard and fast to draft behind them. Two of us made it, and 3 got left behind on the way sprinting up. Right after the turning point, it was a furious ride. We were riding in Peloton style instead of Triathlon. So more or less it was like a road bike or Time Trial racing, the speed was about 50km.h to 55km/h. It was fast, we had no chance to relax because if we do either one of us would lose and get left behind from the group. Then, we caught up with the first individual group, initially they were roughly 12km away from us, but because of our furious ride with Malaysia's best we caught up with them in the end. Thus, we ended in a huge group arriving at the transition area. I love Casandra, she was great!

Most of us were burnt out from the cycling, but I felt good because I knew I did good on the ride. So the run I didn't push too hard, so I was just going easy as I didn't want my injury to return. It was my first time racing using racers, it's hard to race in them though I train in them, only sometimes. But now I know that racers are not easy to use, gotta get use to them shyt! So in the end, I ended up 9th placed, and 3rd in the Sarawak Category. Not bad though because I've only been doing base training, nothing hard yet. But this race let me know I'm ready to go up another level, thus I will have upgraded training soon. I love it, and I wanna race more understand myself and my body. I know I can do it as long as I want to. The next race is PD, and it's only 3 weeks away. It's going to be an ASIAN CUP Series race, so it's a big event. Time to bust down some move!

Aye!

Oh Shit!

Oh shit..yeah, very shit! I've just read the news in Borneo Post Online about this weekend's triathlon. Triathletes from CHINA, JAPAN, and AUSTRALIA will be coming.

This is the worst fear, because in the Asia region, the Chinese, Japanese, and Aussie are the leading Triathlete of Asia!

They are the best!!!!! OMG!

http://www.theborneopost.com/?p=20060

Rain Rain Rain

It's been raining alot lately, and it seems like it's not gonna stop. I woke up at 5am just now as I wanted to do my training, but since it was raining so I went back to sleep again. I felt kinda sad though as I couldn't do my training, because the race is on this Sunday and I'm on taper week so I gotta keep everything up. But the good thing is I'll be on leave from work tomorrow and Saturday, so I can take my time to do some training and preparation before the race.

A few friends of mine will be arriving from KL tomorrow night, as they are here for the International Triathlon. So I'll be out driving them tomorrow, and more will arrive on Saturday. I hope to see them all because I hardly see them in person, most of the time we only chat through Azwar's website.

I hope the weather for this weekend will be fine, not too stormy or too hot. But too hot is always expected because that's the weather in Malaysia. So let's just hope and pray for a good race!

Date

My date with Casandra was great this morning, I put her on the Computrainer and rode for 60mins. It was boring though dating her at home with the tv switch on, as nothing much interesting to watch in the early morning hours. I was sweating like hell for sure, completely wet. And Casandra was spinning greatly! So I had a great cadence training after all, and I'm getting along well with Casandra. I love Casandra so much!

My dad said I look weak, skinny, and sick, but I don't feel that way after all. Most people say i look that way though, even Zaza. So I find it weird as I feel alright, because I don't feel sad, unhappy, depress, or broken hearted. All that I feel is I love myself, Casandra and my life.

I'm feeling a little sleepy today, as I didn't have enough good sleep last night. I have to rest well for the couple of days before the race on Sunday. I gotta get my body ready and ready to rock! I gotta eat right somemore, but my family doesn't eat what I eat so it's hard for me to dine with them. The most I can eat is Chicken and Salad, and nothing more oily and unhealthy, especially junk foods. Protein, Calcium and Vitamins are vital, and the most important one is Carbo as it has to be loaded before races, not too much of course.

Miri International Triathlon is only 3 days away, and I just gotta stay focus on it.

Sun Waits for no Man

Nothing goes backward in this world, it all goes forward and it never waits. The clock doesn't stop, and the sun doesn't wait. Life goes on and move on no matter what, what's yesterday is just another day of drama.

Live life to the Fullest!

The Shell

Shell

What's wrong?

Zaza has been very weird recently, and I don't know why. At first, she was the one who called off the relationship because of the rumours, as she didn't know who to believe. Then, she was telling me not to bother about her and just go on with my own life. Right, I did and I'm moving on with my own life and having lots of fun.

We still contact each other everyday, as I share my problems and happiness with her very often. I don't really have anyone else to talk to so Zaza would be the only one to hear me out. But the weird thing is eventhough she told me to move on with my own life and do what I like, yet she still wanna bother and care everything that I do. When I was out having dinner with Edwin and Nic last Friday night because we had a discussion on my scholarship, Zaza kept texting me and calling as she was very mad because she thought I was flirting and out dating with Angie. Zaza was so pissed off, while I was busy talking about the scholarship, and she got mad and kept telling me to stop lying to her. I was shocked to see Zaza's reaction that way, as I'm not her boyfriend anymore and yet she still wanna gets jealous and control over me. So am I doing the wrong thing moving on and carrying on with my own life?

The same thing happen last Saturday as well, she called me up outta sudden to check on me. She sounded like she had something to say but then she did not, so I just pretended nothing happen. I was playing tennis with Mary and her brother last Monday evening, somehow Zaza knew about it on Sunday and she kept sacarsting me about it. And I felt like, do I still have to tell her everything that I do and where ever I go? For Christ sake, she called off the relationship, told me not to bother her and care about her, told me to move on with my life. But when I'm happy with my own life, she gets unhappy and jealous about it in whatever I do.

Last night, I was back in the office to do some work and also to update my blog because I got the new bike. So I was uploading pictures of my bike from my phone. While uploading the phone is switch off to the file transfer mode, so I couldn't receive calls or messages. After finishing updating my blog, my phone was switch on again and I received a message from Zaza saying "WTF?". I was kinda suprised by the message and wondering what she was mad about again, in a second after I received her message she gave me a call to check on me where as she sounded angry again. So I really don't know what's wrong with her actually, because I find it weird as she was the one who called off for the relationship.

Fine, I'm single and I'm doing my own things, and I'm happy about it. But yet, she's still trying to check on me and control me.

Weird....

Introducing...

Behold, she is Cassandra. My new beloved wife, with Profile Design Cobra+T2 Tribar.

The beautiful aerodynamic tubing.

FSA Chainwheel 53 tooth

I'm very happy with this bike as I bought it myself today. She is Cassandra (MERIDA WARP 4), she's got everything that I need. My previous bike is already down so I'm lucky enough to get this bike in time to get myself ready for the upcoming races. I love Cassandra, she's gorgeous and fast! My cycling coach Mat spent the whole after with me tuning and adjusting the position of the bike for me. We got it all aerodynamic after adjsuting it over and over again. We had a long day of hardwork. Finally when everything is settle, I took Cassandra out for a ride. She's beautiful, lovely, and great! I love her so much with all my heart! She's really fast and smooth, and I hope she will carry me well as I will handle her well. Everyone in my family is happy to see Cassandra. My little brother Ben was stunned when he saw her, Robin had a scary ride on her, Dad was very pleased to see her, Mum was happy, and Jeff was shocked! Zaza was very happy about it too when I told her. After all, Casandra is the cool!

Cassandra and I

Bike!

I get the new bike, it's the MERIDA WARP 4!!! Yaaahhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!

Waves by Waves

It was Friday yesterday, another day where Jason and I would go down to the beach for a swim. This time Nic came along with us, she has jz came back from Holland so she decided to follow us for the training. As usual, it was a 2km swim, but we took a different direction this time due to the ocean current. The waves were choppy and rough, and the current was strong. The moment we stepped into the water, we could feel the current was swirl around our legs and we couldn't stand still as the current was so strong that it moved us. As we went deeper intot he water, the waves were even bigger, it reached as high as 3 feet. As we swam out, it was tough because the wave kept hitting us. The first kilometer was tough as 3 of us tried our best to stay together, but unfortunately Nic couldn't keep up with us. Jason swam ahead as I was waiting for Nic, but as I swam further I lost Nic. I couldn't see her anymore because the waves were so choppy and we were swimming up and down most of the time as the waves kept throwing us up. I was kinda worry when I lost Nic, and I lost Jason too but somehow I found Jason as he was in front of me. So I kept chasing after Jason as not to lose him too. As we swam along, it gets tougher and harder by every stroke. The waves were too strong that we were being dragged, and each time we pulled we could feel we were pulling the current. Finally, when Jason and I reach the turning point we waited for about 5mins to wait for Nic, but she didn't turn out. So Jason and I swam back again and hope to see Nic along the way back. We thought it would be much easier as the current could surf us along, but we were wrong as we got smashed by the big waves. I was stunned when I got smashed because I've never experienced such hit, that gave me a click that I had to swim faster to get outta water. So Jason and I were sticking together and swam as fast and as fast as we could. I was feeling tired of fighting and swimming against the strong current and waves, I felt like I wanna give up but then I would drown if I did. So I push on and swam till the end no matter what. When we finished, Jason and I kept a look out for Nic. We couldn't see any sign of her at the Boat Club, so she was still out there. And suprisingly we saw her, she was at the 1km marked turning point, we were suprised as we had missed her along the way. So I ran over to see if she need any help, but I was glad she's fine so she walked all the way back. After all, it was a great training to remember as it was tough and dangerous. We were glad that we survived, if not it could have been worse. Life is short to live, so we gotta treasure every single second of life as it's the most precious and wonderful moment you will always remember.

After the swim, we had a dinner in the Boat Club. It was great to hang aaround with my friends as I have not seen them for so long. Edwin has always been the fuzzy old man with all the shyt! But I enjoyed having him in the conversation. Nic and I talked about my problems lately, and I appreciate all her advices. Besides, I was too happy last night at the dinner because I was being offered a sponsorship to further my study! Thank God and everyone, it's been what I've wished for.

Another day of life, live it to the fullest and greatest! Enjoy Life!

CoiNciDeNcE

Coincidence does happen, for some reason...a big *wink* to Debbie...hehehee...=P

Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead

I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed

I've been lonely for so long

Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away

Just in case I ever need em again someday

I've been setting aside time

To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

Oh oh oh..

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine

I've been searching but I just don't see the signs

I know that it's out there

There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light

Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction

And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart again

I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...

There are moments when I don't know if it's real

Or if anybody feels the way I feel

I need inspiration

Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love

I can't make it through without a way back into love

And if I open my heart to you

I'm hoping you'll show me what to do

And if you help me to start again

You know that I'll be there for you in the end

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh..

Time & Space

I guess I really to have space between Zaza and I. No point convicing her everyday as she doesn't believe in me. I find no point in being honest anymore, because whenever I'm being honest..no one would believe and appreciate my words. I loved her alot once and I still do, but yet it really breaks my heart to see that she doesn't believe in me at all.

I guess only time will heal everything, and so I pray. I hope God would show mercy and love once more, as I wish and ask for forgiveness from God.

Time and space are what it takes I guess, and I hope so too.

Wan Sin

Wan Sin...=)

Hehehee...Wan Sin made me smile, she lights me up!

Feelin' Blank

I'm feeling blank again lately after days of training, it's always like this. It's really uneasy being a triathlete having to train 3 disciplines in a week time. I admit that my schedule and time are all occupied by my training, hardly have time for anything else. Besides, we also have to put in different types of training for each discipline, e.g speed work, strenght & power, technic, endurance, etc. It's complicated at some point for those who do not understand, that's why don't think it's easy!!!!! I know most athletes are only training for one event or one type of sport which is easy to focus on, as they don't have to train 3 different disciplines, and their lives are easier. Swimmers only swim, runners only run, ballers only play balls, dancers only dance, etc, each has only one single focus.

On average, I spend about 30 hours of training per week, 4hrs a day. My training has changed these days due to upgrades, so intensity has gone higher than before. It's very tiring sometimes, or most of the time, but I enjoy it alot as it's fun and it has been improving my performance day by day. But I feel empty and blur or blank after training most of the time, and what's worse is when I feel the rush of the endurance which makes me uncomfortable to get a good sleep.

But after all, only triathletes will understand each other, because we're truly one of a kind. Many people may not understand why I'm so into triathlon, but I just don't know how to explain it. Triathlon is in my blood, my life, and my soul..I live through it, No Triathlon No Life, as it's a way of Life...

We Swim

We Cycle

We Run

That's the way it is, it's Triathlon, whether you like it or not...this is our life!

Light Up JAck

I'm trying to smile, but it's hard...
I try to laugh, but it's tough...
I wanna breathe, but it's suffocating...
I wanna live, but it's a journey...

I miss u, miss all the happiness, joy, laughters and all we have shared.
I appreciate all your love and caring with all my heart and soul, and i'll always remember them.
You were part of my life, and I was wonderful for once...thank you...
I miss you, and I hope you won't be gone for too long...
But I gotta move one, as it's time to grow...
Light up Jack, because you're JAck..

Run and Strike

I had a great time training under my ex-coach Sazali who has just returned from KL and to be based in Miri as the Head Swimming Coach! He's great, I love his program and the workout is so the bomb! Swimming is really something I grew up, without it I don't know where I would be today. Coach Sazali's program is very good, as it's all quality training rathe than quantity training. The intensity is not high yet as it's a base training for all at the moment. Everyone is enjoying it, and slowly there'll be even more interesting training.

Yesterday, I took an off day from the office as I wanted to watch the brass band competition in Indoor stadium and also to take some time to do my training. I was supposed to cycle and run in the morning, but something's wrong with my bike and I couldn't do it. Damn, my bike is down! So I went down to the track and did the speed circuit training, was killing me! I was kinda upset about my bike as it's only companion left in this world, so after training I was sitting at home staring at my bike wishing it'll be alright again. It costs too much to get a new bike, so I'm trying to figure a way out to save my triathlon career! As I was feeling upset, I was texting with Syaza trying to overcome my sadness, so in the end Zaza and I went to the indoor stadium to watch the brass band championship. It was awesome!!!! I was expecting to see St.Joe Miri to perform and they did a superb performance! Chung Hua wasn't the expected winner in my eyes initially because I was being so optimistic about St.Joe, I like them! But then Chung Hua won, they did very well though because the drummers had it loud! So after all, it was a great show indeed, very competitive! In the afternoon, I was down in the gym doing my training with Zaza. It was great as it's my final heavy weight training before next Sunday's race.

I was assisting the coach to guide those kids in swimming yesterday, it wasn't easy to deal with kids! But it's fun to teach the kids after all. After coaching, I did a little just to relax myself. I went to bed quite early after that as I felt tired, and sleepy.

I had a great run this morning, was fresh and hip! I like it..run and run and run, and strike everything single step! I love running, and I love triathlon after all!

Role like a Ball

I went to play tennis with Mary and her brother yesterday. It has been over a year I didn't play tennis, so I lost the idea of all the basic moves. Over a year ago I played tennis with Mary, and Grace as well, we were always out in the evening to practise. I miss some of the old times I had, it was fun. Mary is a professional tennis player, and she studies in the US under scholarship so she's a US based tennis player. Her brother is a pro-tennis dude as well, and he's super good!!! Mary gave me a few warm up hit, just to get the moves and strokes to go along smoothly but somehow I couldn't control my strenght. I was supposed to do my training instead of playing tennis, but I felt very weak as I didn't sleep the whole previous night due to the problems I had. So i decided to play tennis just to activate my spirit, then I felt so much better after playing tennis. Mary played like Maria Sharapova, she's so strong and I got panic whenever she served! But after all, it was fun.

I slept very early last night after I got home from Imperial Mall. Before I sleep, I only talk to Zaza for awhile. I got to see her last night for awhile though as we had to pass each other some stuffs, I got her some roses from KK. It was a good night sleep, so sweet, then I totally ignored my training this morning as I was so dead asleep. I had to get myself ready to go to work by 7 o'clock every morning, but I woke up at 7:15 am this morning and work starts at 7:30 am. Zaza didn't wake me up anymore, unlike she always did by sending me messages in the early morning, so I'm not used to it yet (Guess I will). So I was in hurry when I jumped outta bed, I didn't take my bath so I just brushed my teeth and had a changed then off I rushed to work.

Today, I finally confronted Zaza's mum. I talked to her about the rmours that have been going around. I confessed and spoke the truth to her, that's all I had to do. She didn't believe words that I say, but it's up to her. I've got no time to bother so much about the rumours as I didn't do anything wrong behind Zaza's back as I've always been loyal and sincere to her. Zaza's mum was talking in denial, her temper was getting higher as the conversation went along and I was cool. But I respected her as Zaza's mum so I didn't wish to argue with her. There's no point for me to argue so much with her as I'm on the winning site, because most people or good colleagues of mine around me know I didn't do it, so do the girls who are the so called "Jack's scandal" they admitted there're nothing between themselves and I. Thus, what Zaza's mum and the other 5 secret gossip folks have pulled out in these rumours, they are on a losing game. They didn't manage to play the game, but the game they have created played them back.

I feel alright now, my life is wonderful once more. I got sunshine up on my head, and the grass is always greener when I step a foot down onto the field! I love Jack, I love myself, as for who I am I shall never give up on my life, I stand for what I believe and no one can drag me down. My heart is my soul, my blood is my determination, and my breath is my energy! The spirit in me lives on forever, LIVESTRONG!

Crystal Clear

Last Friday was great as Jason and I went down to the beach for sea swim training. The sea condition was good, beautiful crystal clear water, and moderate current. It was a 2km swim heading up to Lutong Beach from PBC, and at 1km mark where it is the fisherman's huts we turned back. The swim was great, at first we were againsting the current so Jason and I were pacing side by side, then it was so much easier to swim back as the current was driving us. I lost Jason once in awhile during our way back as he was behind me, I couldn't see him clearly as waves started to pick up so I had to stop for awhile just to wait for him. The sea condition was incredible that day, the water was so crystal clear because at about one meter depth I still could see the ground clearly. Miri's water hardly has such condition because it's greenish most of the time. During our break at the 1km mark, I saw 2 angel fish right in front of my eyes for the first time. They were just swimming right where we stood, it was beautiful. How I wish there are more coral reefs in Miri as it will be great for free-diving.

I've got bad stomach lately eversince last Wednesday and it got really bad on Thursday night. It's better now after a couple of days in agony. It was kinda hard for me to do my training because I don't eat much lately thus I feel weak, not just my stomach was giving me a hard time but also my personal life. More rumours about me and other girls are out, it's like a new season of movie!!! The drama keeps on going and never stop, I wonder what's up in these people's head as they never seem to stop bothering about others' life. Zaza has totally lost her confident in me once again as she's having a phobia about it. I feel so innocent when people backstab me this way, I didn't do anything wrong to them but yet they wanna screw up my life. I explained everything clearly till my heart drop out and my mind went outta words, still it doesn't convince Zaza at all. I didn't do anything, and all I have done is waiting for her to come back from KL. It's been really hard for us lately, she's been so mean and angry. I've been trying to calm her down and explained everything I could. Nobody has ever treated me this way, Zaza was so mean to me that she has no respect for me. She called me a motherfucker, a fuckin' liar, anak sial, babi, cibai lanjiao, stupid ass, sex maniac, etc. I was shocked when she started to call me by all those names, and that had really hurt me alot. She has always been a nice girl, sweet and gentle but I was so stunned when words like that could come out from her mouth. Her anger and temper were very hot, she could even curse me and kept telling me to go to hell. I never thought she would mention something like that as she never did. Zaza and I have been so clear that rumours are going around indeed, that's why I always tell her if I feel suspicious about people in my office. It has been giving me a heart attack. I've been honest with her, but yet she doesn't believe me and I had to begged her. I just don't understand why she has to treat me so badly because of the rumours, she knew it is just rumours and also understand it but yet I just don't get it why. It hurts my feelings and dignity alot, I'm a human as well as I have a heart and my blood is red. I really hope God would show me mercy.

I went down to Church on Saturday night alone, the church was dark and no one was there. I couldn't stand everything in my life no more, and God is the very last person I can ask for blessings. I pray to God with all my heart and hopefully peace will resurface once again.

Angie had a Gawai Open House last Saturday afternoon, so I went there after my training. It was nice to see Angie as I have not talked to her for a long time. She told me alotta problems which she has gone through, and I'm glad she's still alive and strong enough to move on. Around 7p.m, I was still in Angie's house chit chatting with her. Suddenly Zaza called me up and asked what I was doing, so I told her I was having a chat with Angie. I couldn't really hear her as the music was loud, and Zaza sounded in a hurry as she was in KL so I hung up. Then, she called me up the second time again. When I answered her call, the first thing I could her was her shouting and cursing. I was shocked because she was alright just a moment ago and her mood suddenly changed in seconds. I was terrified because I didn't do anything worng, I've already told her that I would be attending Angie's open house and she was fine with it though I asked for her permission 3 times. But then, she was shouting crazily over the phone and I was just plain blank. She kept telling me to get out of her and go fuck Angie, I was confused because there was nothing between Angie and I as we were just talking after all. Zaza had really freaked me out with a phone call like that, it sounded really bad.

Ooh my, guess my sunshine will come again someday. I just gotta be strong, and face all the challenges. Livestrong, and No Fear!

..Rumours..

Finally, after 2 weeks of investigations, I've finally found out what the truth is that lies beneath a pretender's face. The rumour was about Olivia Ling and I having a secret affair, it's quite shocking though.

Olivia is a trainee CSR in Shell, and I'm an Asset Management Executive here in Petra. Our offices are in 2 diffenrent locations, Shell is in Lutong where as Petra is at Waterfront. Olivia and I do not have any job common, thus we don't contact each other. There was only once when I sent chocolate to her while she was offshore as she needed help to buy snacks and junk foods, it was only then we had a little conversation and nothing more than friends too. The rumours about us just appeared all of a sudden 2 weeks ago. It was Zaza who told me about it eventhough at first she didn't want to, but I begged her to do so.

Who told her the rumours? It was her mum, so here's how the story goes. Somebody from Shell who is a guy (Mr.X) that Olivia likes actually told Zaza's mum that I've been sending roses and chocolates to Olivia as gifts. The gifts are often being sent to offshore while Olivia is offshore, and also to her office while she's back. Besides the gifts, the rumours also said Olivia and I have been dating each other behind Zaza's back. Thus, it sounds like I've been cheating Zaza.

Then, when Zaza asked her mum who told Mr.X about all these, it was Olivia. Zaza's mum also said it's not Mr.X who told only, but also another guy (Mr.Z) from Petra as well. Thus, it's a little complicated when it comes to this. So Zaza and I decided to ignore this first as we wanted to ask Olivia herself and get her to talk to Zaza and speak the truth. Olivia was suprised and stunned to hear such rumours going around in the office, and she felt so innocent about it. Olivia told Zaza that there has never been any affair between Olivia and I, and we have not even met each other before, not even once! And Olivia doesn't have anyone she likes as she's single. So when I spoke to Olivia, she nearly cry and I really pity. Then I asked Olivia who she has told about the chocolate I sent her a few months back, and she said only Sofri and Michelle. But Michelle has kept quiet all along.

Zaza and I have been suspecting it is Siti, cousin of Zaza, who's behind all these rumours but we could not confirm at first. Siti is very close to Zaza's mum, and she earns the trust from Zaza's mum. It is so weird that Zaza's mum doesn't trust her own daughter at all, I really pity Zaza sometimes.

Morris, a good colleague of mine, has spoken to Olivia about the rumours as well. He was quite suprised to hear what Olivia said, she said that she did tell Sofri to pass a message to Siti and to tell Zaza to be careful of me because afraid that I might betray Zaza's trust. That was just a simple message, but it went into the wrong hand so words started to spread.

Thus, Zaza and I have finally known the truth. I'm innocent, Olivia is innocent, and we got to know who created the rumours. There were no Mr.X & Z as they do not exist at all, so Zaza's mum has been creating stories as well just to cover Siti.

So for now, we're just gonna wait until the right time to talk to Zaza's mum.

Anaerobic Hell!!!

Training everyday; Swim, Bike, & Run..till my heart is droping out, lungs are desperate for more O2, muscles are in pain & torture, and my mind has gone blank!

What the hell have I done? Anaerobic Hell! Training has been like hell everyday, it's killing me more and mre each day. With the race just 2 1/2 weeks away, time is consuming fast. In my mind that all I can think of is the fast pace, the adrenaline rush, and feel of the heat. I can't really think of anythin else properly, neither my personal life nor love life, my mind is focusing on triathlon.

Everyday I wake up seeing triathlon, hearing triathlon, and speaking triathlon. Triathlon is truly a way of life, and I'm living through it. Sounds crazy? The interesting part is FUN! It's still the same old thing I do everyday, wake up early in the morning and put on my shoes then head out for a run. In the late afternoon back to the training ground again in the pool or the track or the road or the forest. I'm all busy about training, I've got no time for anything else. When I'm done training, I am just drop dead on my bed.

Yeah, I'm just lovin' it...