Love of Hearts

When the Sun rises above,
Comes a field of green,
With flowers and beauty,
Surrounded by Love.

Yet, when Two met,
It was a moment of Love,
When souls met,
There it was the Secrecy of Love.

Affections of Her's,
And tender loving of Him's,
Together as One,
May a Tale lives for one and another.

By Jacques Yvez

The Journey Afar

It has been awhile since the age of Casanova, and life has been interesting as well for a Casanova. Living in the very age of aristocracy and elegance, as well as lust and betrayal of love. But yet, all that has changed since the birth of a new era, a new direction, and most of all a new heart. I must say, it hasn’t been easy getting Casanova falling in love, as it has always been the toughest thing to do after all. Well, in a way, things do evolve in this universe according to its time and existence. So all the while, it has always been Casanova playing his games and deserving all the fun he could, and yet all that changed when He met Her.

It was another day of sunshine and smile for Casanova, and the thought of Victoria was just another memory of encounter. Yet, the very glimpse that caught Casanova’s heart was a Victorian’s Victoria Secrecy, a secrecy that Casanova has always feared most. Victoria stands a personality like no other, so far distant and powerful that a Casanova has no resistance, and unable to defend himself against the will of her power. Then of course, he had never thought he would fall in love for her. So as to himself being a Casanova, knowing the danger was there, he tried to barricade himself from being harmed.

As time went by, the bond between Casanova and Victoria has got closer than Casanova has never thought. Something felt different, where her secrecy slowly swallowed his heart. Then, amazingly Casanova could no longer defend himself against the truth. A truth that could change his life and shatter the curse of lust and betrayal, then comes the new existence of pure love in his heart. A pure love from Victoria’s Secret to savior him, and that was all it took to capture Casanova.

It was a night, a night that could no longer be forgotten when the story of a Princess turn a frog into Prince Charming. It was a wonderful story, a lovely story, yet a tale of romance. But then, it was yet only a night of confession where Casanova fell off from his horse. So then he waited, waited for the very next day of the return of the Princess, where a confession could be revealed too. As anxious as Casanova could be as he has lost himself against the Victoria’s Secrecy, the only moment he could be wishing for was the realm of Princess’s Kiss story tale.

It was an evening, a faithful evening as I recalled clearly. He took her hand, and she held it with warmth. Then, it was the very first kiss of all...a kiss that changed all. Then, it was the birth of Charmmiel. Since then, the enchanted tale of Charmmiel and Victoria has carry on...where it seems endless. With all the happy memory and affection at heart, together as they are and share love of purity and faithfulness, and most of all happiness. Charmmiel, Casanova has gone...somewhere in the midst of unknown.

But for now, it is the time of Charmmiel and Victoria’s Secrecy. Love, faith, and romance...a journey afar awaits for a tomorrow.

By Jacques Yvez

The Waited Kiss of Tale

Alone he has, all along by himself in the unknown.
Covered in shadowed Grey of emotional pain, lives in the heart of a pure and divine soul.
On the isle of no man, stands alone there he would.
Starring blindly into the night, where stars dance in the waltz.

Stars blink across the forms of a lover's affection.
There wonder he has, wishes made if it was Him.
Then comes memory of beloved past, felt he could the love of his lost.
She was his heart, she was his breath, she was his soul, and she was His's.

Love they had shared were untold, deeply buried in the soul beneath loving's heart.
Felt he could in her warmth, a touch of her smile, kiss of bless upon cheeks.
Slowly, memory unfolded tears from the very innocent eyes.
Pain in the heart turns to sorrow, a pot of emptiness filled his loneliness.

Cold he felt, thought of her he has...yet, the never of her has be forever.
A forever soul that long disappeared in the universe, long gone without paper trail.
Miracles has been forgotten for wishes were not answer, yet never gave up in his heart, for She stood still in a room of warmth with love and care.
Yet he stands alone, cold and dark, unable to foresee the the road ahead.

He felt lost, so lost that life means nothing and empty, so lost in a world of darkness.
Where lights were no questions of existence, sadly and kept in darkness of Him.
Confused he has, it felt hopeless for life...nothing more could be done than the answer of the end.
When ends the answer of his sorrows and pain, the blood of his love shares the life of his Light.

He missed her for long, the emotions stabbed of him.
Left the scars of her in his heart, touch he did and felt the existence of her past.
Mesmerizing him with her smile, happiness, and again the love she gave once.
Once, to a man of everything that stood still, a man of wisdom and faith.

But it's all lost, despaired in the well of death.
Walked alone in the cold, in the rain, in the snow.
The fog surrounded him with coldness, yet sorrow.
He thought for a moment, what could there be in the distance? Where She stands?

Love, the joy of all, the happiness of all.
He missed the adoring here, the lovely sweetness of her smile.
Along he walked, she passed him in memory.
Then he smiled, and whispered to himself in joy.

"My love...I..." says He, with tears rolling down his cheeks.
A stop pulled him apart, apart from the reality of Love.
Then yet came another soft voice, "Dear Love...".
Widen his eyes they were, and kneel quickly he did.

"My love...." again says Him, with pain.
Yet the weakness in his heart put him to a stop.
He cried, he cried with pain.
Tears of sorrow and loneliness lived in him.
Tears of a man, slowly swallowed him alive.

Then yelled came from Him, "My Love....." with pain and agony from his heart.
The sufferings over the years had turned a man to dust, dust of sadness and pain.
The darkness put him lying on the floor, then with the eyes starring in the cloudy grey sky.
The doom he felt meant meaningless in his life.

Again and again, he cried harder.
He missed her, he missed all her love and joy.
The appreciation and affection of their beautiful lives together, was now a story left in his heart.
He missed her more, so much more than words could ever described.
He missed so much and felt the desperation of her existence.

He cried, it felt endless in Him.
The cry of sorrow and pain, the feel of infinite.
Endless road of sorrow and pain, wish He had for better sky.
Yet, dwelled of Him in the darkness.

A cried so loud, roam the sky.
It was then the final cried, "I miss you, love...".
Finally, said it has.
The words that brought him back, in tears and cold shivering pain.

Yet, the memory of her lives on in his heart.
A memory that has never been forgot.
A tale of Love scattered the affection of Him.
Then came the Angel, a touch of Life.

Savior Him from the end, flowers grew on fields.
Felt he has, fresh and lively as they were.
He once lived, still live world of love.
A touch of her, came the Tale of a waited Kiss.

The kiss of her's, the very first kiss.
A kiss of love and lust, and affections.
Felt warmth in the heart of both, surrounded with love and light.
The light of hope and life, where distance was shown in his path.

It was a memory that lived forever, forever in his heart.
In the loving memory of love, He lives.
Cheerish all that He has, he smiled again.
He remembers her, in the very soul of His and Her of the very kiss.

By Jack Ho

The Historic Record in Olympics

I came across this video again, and it is the Beijing Olympics 2008 Men's Swimming 4x100m Freestyle Relay final. It was a showdown that shook the whole world. I was watching it live at home in television with my family that day. All of a sudden, my brother and I jumped out of our sofa and started shouting and screaming for USA. It was a really close race, furious, extremely competitive, and most of all shocking.

The effort made by Jason Lezak (USA) was tremendous as it ended with a shocking split time record ever of 46.06s, the very first man in the world to go under 47s. Unbelievably the USA had did it and also to succeed Michael Phelps for 8 gold medals. And I must say, this is the best swimming event I have ever seen in my life. Till this day, whenever I watch this video it would just give me a chill and emotion of victory made history.

Enjoy the show!

by Jack Ho

Mother of a Cold Heart

A mother's love knows no boundary,
Yet a boundary of the unknown is unseen,
Then comes the time of Motherly's warmth,
Care and Love share her destiny.

Deny neither a Mother's protection,
For a Queen lives in a Castle,
Blinded she might of the distance,
Yet then Perfect a thought she has.

Slowly a meal she swallows,
Each day it grows with hunger,
Then end comes with self-denial,
The grow of anger, hatred, and jealousy,
Became obsessive a Mother has.

All that surrounds turn possessions,
Heavily guarded in the arms of barbaric forces,
Forgotten the needs and value she has,
As the mind has lost the directions.

Mother's jealousy became a Weapon,
A destructive force storms in nature,
Viciously stabs into an innocent heart,
Cold blooded of a mother's love,
Pain and suffering paid the debt of Her's.

Yet still lies in the question of freedom,
Will she ever find freedom?
Wander she has,
Fought against the darkness she still,
But her heart remains Pure and Strong,
For a victor's Victorian's Secrecy forgot never its origin.

Denial a Mother has gone,
Another heart-breaking moment of tears and pain,
Wish it never was,
Yet reality speaks of its truth.

Truth comes in harm's way,
A path that denial has no chance,
Lose it must for Truth speaks of the Heart,
Yet a cold heart will be burn to ashes.

Forgotten the love she had,
Possessive she is,
Narcissist named Her life,
The madness unfold visage of the devil.

Yet, the Victorian's remains pure,
With the Touch of love and care,
Never forget and freedom comes,
Walk across a field of joy,
Leaves a Cold Heart left,
Then comes a serve of Happiness.

By Jacque Yvez

MASA Training

Recently, it has been thought swimmers in MASA have expanded, especially among the kiddies. Then of course, it is a good thing to see more kids with potential putting up their talents in the pool.

But just a little thought personally, it is school holiday now which most kids have the time to enjoy their activities. But yet, most of the kids who come swimming are often being pushed by their parents. In way, still, majority of the swimmers (young ones) are there for recreational fitness activity or as well as learn to swim in order to strengthen their skills. In this case, many talents could be spotted as well throughout the potentiality exposed by the swimmers themselves. I was a little surprise some kids eventually love training so much that they even asked for more, yet of course some felt tired and would just wanna go home.

As a matter of fact, which I would like to emphasize on are the kids who are enthusiastically about swimming. Now, as a few of us have seen (including coaches) and I'm not too sure about the committee members, each year MASA is losing senior swimmers gradually to a level where Group 1 will no longer perform to the expected level in nation wide standard. Hence, my point is Senior batch is having less swimmers, especially those who can perform, and current avail swimmers are only able to perform with limitations due to physical size matter, and as well as their commitment to training and goals which have been seen very little. It doesn't matter how many medals they have won or where they have been to, but it is their performance that has to be widely recognized; time achievement, performance efficiency, consistency, persistence, perseverance, commitment, determination and discipline.

So the idea it why not start putting more focus in the younger groups where coaches are able to develop and further improve the standard of these youngsters. Of course, I'm not saying total ignorance on the senior side but coaches and committee must have a proper management in balancing such development and maintenance of swimmers' performance. As many people have complains and argue over years in the MASA committee, disregards who they are, as swimmers we have all seen words and arguments that demeaned swimmers' potential. You see, a committee is a management in handling its association with objectives, strategy, and commitment of course. MASA is a none profitable association as I could see, then again many would always face the problems of arguments among parents regarding the advantage of being in the committee. Likewise, most parents are in the committee for the sake of benefiting and protecting their own child. Hence, I do strongly against the ideology of having parents as committee as over the years, perhaps ever since MASA was born, many unnecessary problems have been caused and never resolved which still remains as a conflict till these date, thus MASA has nearly become as Political Party instead.

Thus, why not have better people who are capable of running the association professionally? Professional standard means to be able to manage the association with proper, formal, and standardized formative management strategy. It is already year 2008 right now, and in the world of globalization and modernization why not have things workout in a better way rather using informal and unplanned strategical management skills and format. Perhaps, people should really consider a better change if they want to further improve MASA, not just by words but ACTIONS!

Now, there is also another major problem which is strongly encountered in MASA. Parents and their dissatisfaction, and complains. Parents play an important role in this matter because they are the ones who send their children for training. But then, some parents think they can be better than coaches and often make noises. Again, those noises are complains and gossips which are against the committee and coaches. Now, first thing first, a committee must stay firm to itself because it is the committee that run the association and not parents who stand watch their children swimming. A committee has to be firm and strong at its own feet, and not easily moved by others such as parents, media, press, public, etc. Thus, if a committee would be easily escalated and provoked by these groups outside the committee, which in the end it would mean a fall for the committee's stronghold where they are unable to protect themselves and the association. Hence, people will easily interfere and affect MASA easily, as it is just like cutting down a tree with a chainsaw.

MASA, the only swimming association in Miri, has been known to produced great swimmers in Malaysia. Of course, it is where all great swimmers started swimming, but they furthered themselves in other places as well. In the AGM meetings over the years, the committee has constantly reported MASA swimmers have gone to SEA Games, Commonwealth Games, Olympic Games, and World Champs as well. Okay, honestly from my opinion, there is no doubt they started swimming from MASA, BUT these swimmers with high achievements were also being trained somewhere else after they left MASA, which is Bukit Jalil. These swimmers no longer train in MASA ever since their departure to Bukit Jalil. Okay, there is nothing by putting them as the iconic figure for swimming, but it would be wiser to describe their achievement in a proper truth. Many people were let confused because they often thought these highly performed swimmers were being trained in Miri. Yes, only when they were still young and not older.

Take some time to think about it readers. I believe some of you may have also gone through problems where it became the very reason why you quit swimming, or also swimmers or parents who are still actively involve in swimming. It is time to be more considerate, intellectual, rational, mature and supportive, disregard who you are. Swimming is a sport, it is not a fight of political matters. It is your child who swim in the pool and compete, not you because you are only a spectator on the bench just like anyone else sitting beside you. Love your children? Better start considering what your child has to say, and not you. As for the committee, it is in the hope that they are to keep up a better work and towards better future, because improvement is the very need for better expectations.

by Jack Ho

Victoria

Recently, I met a girl name Victoria. At first, I did not have the idea of who she was at all, but of course, like any other strangers Victoria was completely somebody I never knew. Yet, the name Victoria did give me a deja vu in a way where her name appears to be unique and meaningful to me. I have always admired names like Victoria where it represents the class of aristocracy, royalty and elegance, and thus she was highly expected in my very eyes. And yet, a secrecy that lies beneath a Victorian.

Then, when the path came along where we met, the very first sight of Victoria was extravaganza as it felt an angelic orchestra was well and perfectly played all along. She has the silky smooth long wavy hair of a snow lady, fair skin complexion of an angel, eyes that gaze into the stars of universe, lips that sweetened with flavor of sweetness, a smile that speaks of harmony and joy, with cheeks blush originally pink, and of course the very beauty of a Victorian's uniqueness.

The moment where a soft voice passed along the path, it literally unfolds the light from lightyears distant afar galaxy. Never knew I had that her voice would be so harmonic and mesmerizing. The blink of her eyes felt like a wondrous closure of nature's beauty insight, yet the very blink that caught my heart with warmth and fear made a catastrophic fall of thunder from Zeus. Neither the power of mankind nor well-being could savior the soul of its victim. But then the very touch of her smile could be the deadliest of all, yet a trap it has where another step taken will be another fall.

As time goes by, the time taken has unfold the deeds of a Victorian. Her personality filled with uniqueness, her desire filled with strengths to fight against the world, and her beauty that represents identity which speaks of herself. But most of all, the heart that a Victorian possesses has never been seen or knew by any until the very day it bleeds. A heart of kindness, love and care, that protect what Victoria has, then which gives her the power to resist the desire of all in nature. Yet a stronghold within her heart gives the entity of Victoria's Secret. A secrecy that meant nothing but her own uniqueness.

As cold as she can be, the thirst of blood comes in the night where the full moon rises. During the day an angel she is where no one could reject the power she holds. But then, the fallen has never been forgotten where once a curse has brought upon, then comes the power of a victor's Victoria to bring victory of vicious victorious victor's Victorian's Victoria Secrecy. Every single touch she brought is lethal than any other vicious known venom to mankind, and yet it is the deadliest of all that broke the curse of One and gave freedom.

What deed does it bring? Victorian's secrecy has once long lied in the very path of mine and yet now it has become the reality of a dream. A dream that set beauty to its entity and present to mankind where the blood thirsty vampires do not touch a single drop of blood again. How harmonic could it have been? Years of indulgence in the unknown now comes the very real answer of dissolving the curse. Yet, only Victoria possesses a charm that will be the only thirst.

The Victorian's Victoria of the secrecy is indeed the Angel of darkness, the lust and thirst of blood of One is the hunger for more freedom and all that dwells within the nature. Spoke of a word she has, while I was right beside of her. Yet that smile she has given will never fade away in the memory heart of mine. Yet again, Victoria is none other than Victorian's Victoria rather than a secrecy with a thirst of blood and love. Deeds, indeed she has of desires of the very own life lies in Victoria.

By Jacque Yvez

Heart of Emotions

Dwells of it Happiness,
Comes sink as its sadness,
Obsession has it of all madness,
Upon the heart all has it possesses.

Carries smile a bag has,
An arm of warmth,
Stars fell from appears Heaven,
Done it has again for smile at heart.

"O beloved, above the very soul,
Come the words of heart.
Hear must for lies carcassed,
Wish not the falling star has yet a wish.
Forgive for love of wondrous beauty,
Before all has yet to begin."

by Jack Ho

Night of Stars

Falls of Night in the wonder’s,
Runs the field of Darkness,
There lids valley of candle,
Hills covered in cold breeze.

Sway of grasses night swiftly sings,
Scented-flowers deep in dreams,
A life lives yet in night,
River of diamonds beneath.

Beliefs of wishes made upon,
Hands of prayers with hope,
Made beautiful as they as,
Be gone will then darkness.

by Jack Ho

Touch of Smile

In paths along with joy,
Happiness fall onto the wander,
Brightly across shown that comes and done,
Treasure within yet possesses by.

Fires of cannon roared has,
Roars of terror fill,
Yet kills all in its power,
Was a touch forgot never.

Love of its know kindness,
Melt in all where Heart fills,
Burn never in the coldness of dark,
Yet truly the origin of its.

by Jack Ho

An Ocean of Freedom

Freely across comes nature’s flow,
One yet not reaches its way,
Depend in hand of lives,
Come cries of freedom in nature.

Depth of valley hides freedom
The lost found has yet to be,
Flow of water swims freedom calls,
Old never has in ages,
Eternity for it is.

by Jack Ho

Time

Tick...tick...tick! Yes, I hear it ticks. I hear the very movement of the gears and dials of the ticks. Yes, it never stops and goes forward it shall, as it will forever. Started counting I have, yet tick never it will stop. The clock's madness is the fundamental time of mankind.

Time, itself, was once the non-existence of all. Then came the creation of Time by mankind whom assumed indication and coordination ours lives. Yes, creation, it was the innovation of invention from the brilliant mind that designated paths beneath the walkings.

From the very navigation of the dawn and dusk of the sun, then the lovely night sky with the moon, then came the creation of hourglass and sundial. At last, the numbers that point the value of time along with 12 numbers and 2 dials, and perhaps an oscillator to represent older clocks of time swinging in the motion of pendulum.

Yes, time. May I ask what time would it be in a moment? Indicate me or show me for I do not know time. Yes, inform me you shall for I have the time to listen. As time was once the creation of mankind and hence lies in the very hands of mankind. Yes, time in the very palm of mine yet I did not know.

Like many, time is the essence of future when time has no longer become an object but a drive towards mankind. Take a minute for a breath while the clock ticks every single second forward or clockwise as I should say. Claimed as many have, the inadequate of time, very interesting. The man itself who claim time is never enough has become the slave of time where time was once in the hand of its master has now taken over the rest of its kind. No time? Or it is You whom does not have a friend in time.

Yes, friend of time, love time for it was the creation of mankind. And be no slave for time, yet a friend of time. Along, you shall be with time forever when the existence of both, time and human, are in one piece. Time, indeed, the measurement recognized by the human eyes and brains of all created and lived the existence of time.

Tick, tick, tick...your time is running. Well, it is just Time.

By Jack Ho

Guy Fawkes

Remember, remember the Fifth of November,
The Gunpowder Treason and Plot,
I see no reason
Why the Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes, t'was his intent
To blow up the King and Parli'ment.
Three-score barrels of powder below
To prove old England's overthrow;
By God's providence he was catch'd
With a dark lantern and burning match.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, let the bells ring.
Holloa boys, holloa boys, God save the King!

By Guy Fawkes, 5th November 1605.

Love of Heart

In this place called Earth,
People define Love in many ways,
Love as they said is Blind.
What matter is what a person have in their heart,
And not for how he or she looks like,
Or perform in Life.

People define love as the feeling they got for each other,
Which makes two person starts a new love life together.
People also define Love as part of Life,
Where someone has entered,
And everything seems so much better when both are together.
Love is what makes the world goes round.

By Melanie Chin

Lost

I am Lost,
Blind it has,
A way Neither shown nor path,
Where I asked.

Lead me says Him,
Bring me says I,
Show me says Her,
Take me says Thou.

Dark it is,
Light there was,
Must thee Find,
A path thou knew.

Ignorance neither thee shall,
Nor it Has upon thy path,
Bring it to thy heart,
Then shall Lost never.

By Jack Ho

Love Story

Story, story that tells a tale,
A tale of Love where I shall tell,
Neither my tale nor Hers has a tale,
Yet Love Story may be a tale.

A heart falls into a well,
Then a Tale compromises Both,
Seem little Did I know a tale,
Then along it came a Fairy Tale.

Words of Tale has its Way,
Love of Words made its Way,
Yet words of Both had its Way,
Hence both Love & Words created its way.

Far across there lies a Tale,
Hidden it is within a Tale,
Find a tale that Tells,
Where Both lives within.

Roses of Love,
Hearts of Love,
Smile of Love,
And Happiness of Love Story.

By Jack Ho

MASA Gala Dinner 2008

MASA was having a poolside dinner last night. It was fun, as they have not organised for the past 2 years so it was great to have it again. All the swimmers came and some parents as well. I was supposed to go running in the stadium for my traning but then I decided to skip it. Jill wanted to run as well but in the end I pulled it off so she was upset she couldn't run. I was snapping pictures of the kids while they were having the games in the pool. It was really funny because everybody looked like a school of fish.

It was a great night, my brother Ben had fun with his friends and I really felt relax from the tough morning ride I had. After all, it was a beautiful evening.

By Jack Ho

Portraits of Happy-Go-Funny

I have been camwhoring lately, somehow I was driven to do so by Melanie a.k.a Crazyheart. But it's been really fun because I have not done it for a long time, and I really enjoyed it. So here are some of the pictures.

Falling into the pool

Love Oakley

Jacque Yvez

Melanie is fun, she's very cheerful and it's been really nice to have known here. But she can really take better pictures than I do, she's funny and also what she claimed "happy-go-funny" rather than happy-go-lucky. But after all, she's really a great person.

By Jack Ho

Inspiration

Sometimes, I feel like there is nothing else in this world for me as I feel enough is enough. Constantly, I do tell myself that I was delivered into this world for a purpose and not just reasons. And to define that purpose, it is just up to myself.

I've carried a passion in my heart all along, and it was never easy. There tough times in my life where I couldn't see the point of living it anymore. Then, there were also times where I felt the end is near and I shall live life to the fullest.

Triathlon has always been part of me, or perhaps it is me. It is the lifestyle that I have lived with for years which I can't see to give up or live without, it seems like I'm stuck to it and unable to let go. But after all, it is me who doesn't wanna let go because that is what I want in my life and my passion.

Training has never been easy, it is always tough because nothing comes easily. There were training sessions where I felt I couldn't move at all, and there were also times where I wished I could just sleep in. But then, training was to build me up and improve me to be better. For all the sufferings and tough times in training, I've always felt worth it because at the end of the very day I realise I have achieve something wonderful in my life.

Mentally, I feel exhausted most of the time. Sometimes my brain tells me I need a rest, then my heart tells me I can do it. I always left myself in dilema where I couldn't make a decision but then I stick to one thing that I would always remember, the Inspirations. Wise words from people I look up to, which I respect, and which I feel I am just like them living a passion.

Lance Armstrong

Conrod Stoltz

Frank Schleck

Lolo Jones

Thomas Frischknecht

James Stewart

I'm inspired by these quotes, they have reminded me of who I am and where I came, and most of all what I do best. Life may seems very difficult sometimes, but as long as what it takes to overcome the obstacles is by yourself there is no mountain too high to be reached.

The pain, the struggle, the suffering, I've been there and still going through it. Why am I still do it? Triathlon is not just a life, it is what I do best and that what it is in me.

By Jack Ho
Posters by www.oakley.com

Happy 24th

Finally, I'm officially 24 now. Time passes so fast, just a year ago I was 23. Oh well, that is all in the past with a wonderful 23.

Right after mid-night, I received numerous SMS from friends. And when I was checking my Friendster and Facebook, there were tonnes of birthday wishes and blessings. These are the greatest gifts anyone can ever have because heartiest words of blessings men a lot. I really feel touched in a way and really appreciate them all. I wanna thank you all for sending those messages and gave me your blessings, as I'm glad and happy to have friends like you all in my life. Then of course, I wanna thank God for another life and with blessings in every single inch of my life.

Even though it is my birthday today, to me it is just another ordinary day that I live up to. I see clear blue sky then cloudy conditions, it is a beautiful day indeed just like when I was born. I woke up after 7 to do my training which I had a run on the track just now, I didn't feel so good because the sprint from yesterday really got my legs so I was having a moderate pace instead. But I felt good after the run, recovery was even faster so I can do my swim later. Surprisingly, when I was out on the track I thought I would be running alone as usual but who knew my ex-gf turn out to be on the track doing her training as well. It has been over a year that we have not spoken a word to each other, perhaps she is still angry and dwelled in the past. She can hate me as much as she wants, but I've moved on and having a better life. Yet, she will always have my blessings and in the hope that she would be a better person and all the very best in her life.

Well, Happy 24th and I hope to have another year of adventurous journey like I always have for myself. Life is truly wonderful, and beautiful as the creation of God is always there for us to see. So stay positive and take the negative as a lesson, as the journey ahead is long and waits for no one but ourself.

by Jack Ho

The 13th PBC Triathlon 2008

Photo by William Ting

This year, I was in tough luck for the race. But yet, I did what I could and what I do best to overcome the race. Just two days before the race, I fell sick with a fever and nose-block which I felt so bad that I couldn't even know if I could race on Saturday. So training on Thursday was forced to cancel and had a day off, it was boring without training because before I fell sick all trainings were going so well and preparing myself for the race was definitely on the way, especially conditioning training. So on Thursday, when I got sick I just felt so devastated and upset because I knew I will not do well on Saturday to do a sub-2 hour’s race.

I felt better on Friday and was really glad that I could recover so fast thanks to the 2XU compression top, but the nose-block was definitely the biggest set-back as it would interrupt the breathing system during the bike and run. So on Friday, I decided to go down to the track to do a final fitness check on myself and my performance just to clarify that I was able to race on Saturday. I was in my full 2XU compression top and tight just to speed up all the process of recovery and enhancing my performance, so the track session actually turn out very well. Then, I knew I could race on Saturday. During the briefing, I was hoping to see Jeff Cowie who is my major competitor but he didn't turn out due to some injury so the race would seem as a one man race after all. Winning wasn't in my mind, it was all just about how to race with peak performance and strategic performance, and have fun.

So on race, Saturday, I woke quite early before 5 just to get myself ready. The weather seem perfectly fine at first but it rained heavily around 5:30 am so I thought the swim would be canceled and the race would be a duathlon again just like last year. Well, thank God as the rain stopped just around 6! When I got to the race-site, everything seemed fine as the sea was calm and wind condition was perfect. So right away I knew it was gonna be a fun race for the day. Everyone was busy setting themselves up in the transition area, but I was warming myself up before I could I get everything right in the transition area. Without Jeff Cowie, the race was gonna be a big disadvantage for me as I thought when I was looking around at the rest of the competitors. After I got everything set in the transition area, it was time to move out to the beach to head for the start.

The start of the swim was fun as there was no large wave to wash us into the shore so basically it was pure sprinting towards the buoy. I was caught up with the swimmers who are from the relay teams in the group, as no one else in the individual category could follow during the swim. So I was the only individual in the first group of the swim, which I knew it was gonna be a tough and big disadvantage for me. Being the first guy out of the swim is never easy because the pressure and stress of breaking away from the others during the bike would be very energy consuming, and the run would be very tough as the body would get exhausted from the bike. So with the second swimmer a few minutes behind my back, I was on my bike to pull myself way ahead of the rest. It was tough cycling on the beach using a tri-bike, but big fun on the road. By the 3rd lap, the only guy who me was Simon on the beach as he was using a big rear tyre which was a brilliant idea that I have never thought of. So using a road-bike or tri-bike was a big mistake on a beach-road course. During the run, I found it hard to run because I wasted too much energy during the bike-leg as to stay ahead of the lead. So I kept myself very consistent on the run though Paul Hague caught me up!

At first I was running with a French guy named Erik, he's really a good runner and we were pacing together. But I was dying hard to push myself ahead and stay away from the catch. But in the end, it was a great race though I got 3rd with a lost to the French guy. I learned something new from this race somehow, it was something I have never experienced or felt throughout my triathlon career. Erik and I had a chat after the race where he pointed out, "Jack, you're a good triathlete with a very strong swimming, cycling and running which your strongest leg is swimming! But it's even harder to be chased rather than to chase." the moment he mentioned that very last sentence, it just clicked my mind right away of what Kimberly has experienced in the past. Kim has always been the fastest swimmer in many races, but she was always caught up during the bike as being the first person to get out from the water without having a group to draft on the bike or work things out together is tough being alone as she had to push herself ahead of the group behind. And there, Erik reminded me a lesson that I have just learned from the race. I admitted that it was really tough to be chased as I kept worrying of people coming from the back and was doing whatever it takes to stay ahead of them. So after all, I was the main target in the race where everyone was chasing my butt.

I'm happy that I've learned something new in such a small race, yet it was fun after as it is really worth having such an experience. Winning or losing didn't matter at all as it was all about having fun. I didn't feel tired at all after the race, but my nose-block remains disturbing until present moment. And even though I was sick, I was still able to race and have a great time. Yet, I've learned a new lesson and discovered my new capability. As for that guy who has been telling everybody he could defeat me, he's just gonna have to try even harder next year as there is no point bragging about it the whole time. Triathlon for life!

When a mile seems very long

Gently, the wind blew across my face yet it felt dry and humid for a second, and the sweat felt stingy in my eyes. My eyes kept blinking in order to remind myself not to fall asleep or shut my eyes to blackout. My lips were dried, they felt so dry as the scorching heat burn every little inch of it. And my tongue felt dry as well, with air gasping in and out, my throat were dying from thirst, yet my lung kept breathing heavily.

My shoulder felt heavy, and the pain given by the heat felt as if someone has been pinching me all the while. My chest worked like a machine, it kept pumping for more air non-stop and it will never stop. Yet, the heat increased the weight on my shoulder as it felt heavier from time to time.

My toes felt numb, and my feet were sore. My legs felt tired, but it got stronger as it kept running forward. Again, the heat stabbed my thigh deeply when the burning sensation could be felt.

It was under the hot sun where I was running, a run where it is part of my routine. The heat and the dry-air could literally be felt sucking out all the fluids in my body as I felt like a dried sponge. The road seemed like a hot pan as heat could be seen released from far, it felt burning hot as if I was running on fire. Every step being pushed forward felt so difficult, but then that is only what I felt.

"Why am I doing this?" I asked myself.

"Keep running Jack, keep running." I said to myself.

"Why suffer and torture yourself, Jack?" again, I asked myself in a dying voice.

"Reward will come later, it's only a little hardship." I told myself.

Then, I began to realize the reality surrounded me...it is all thoughts, just thoughts that made me weak and tired. My heart was still beating fast and strong like ever, and the voice of every single beat started to sound like the ringing bell of the Sunday church. It is then I woke up to reality, it is then I got to see the real side of the world, it is then I saw myself running.

I started to push myself, leaning forward, empower my legs, and start running with even faster pace. My breathing started to work smoothly, and my sweat dropped like heavy rain. My fist gripped even harder, it felt like a raging power that rush within me. I felt unstoppable; the speed and the rush on my blood, it all felt even faster. I was running, running in reality on earth. What surrounded me were just obstacles which they represented challenges, challenges that meant a game for me. It was fun, I smiled to myself as it took all my pain away and that is when I knew I was alive to live another and do what I do best.

What you think is only what you put in your mind of visualization. The reality bites, but yet it kept me going as the tougher it gets the stronger I am. Never stop believing as of there is hope then let there be miracles.

What did I do when I finish my run? I smiled, and that was just another day of my life pumping my heart out to the joyous moment of another story to tell. Pushing through the limit where a mile seems to be a distant.

by Jack Ho

Parkour - My Game

Parkour, known as urban free-running, is so much fun when you do it. The very last time I did was a few years back till I got injured in the hip which put it to a stop for me in the end. Ever since then, I have never done it again.

The thing about parkour is it gets really physical and extreme as that is the very nature of the sport. I love it extreme and has been an adrenaline junky since I was young. So I never stop pushing myself to feel that adrenaline rush. The jumps, the leaps, and all the runs in parkour are the combination of all skills that one can evr learn and to master it takes a quite some time.

I guess I'm gonna start doing parkour again before I get too old to regret. I love parkour no doubt as it is in my blood, soon I'll start doing it casually as with the current fitness I have I am capable to do whatever that comes.

Love parkour, love the extreme as that is what I'm all about.

by Jack Ho

Live a Life

Everyone has got a story to tell, a drama to watch, and a story line to be understood. Everyday, I see people living a story of their very own. Some may have a fairy tale, some may not but yet some may be lost. Today, we are all alive for some reason and that reason is for you to know because that life is yours. But the funny thing is, life has always been a wonderful thing...it is beautiful and filled with many wonders.

I came across with many people who have always doubted about their own life, no directions and meaningless in a way. Yes, certain times of our lives we would all feel the same way, perhaps it is just the stages of life that we have to go through. Even myself, I've been through certain stages of my life where I was struggling, struggling to live another day, another day of life. So here's a little story of mine, my life.

Throughout my teens, I wasn't quite popular as any other teenagers would always wanna be. I wasn't a guy who live a vibrant and exciting life to many, but I was just living a simple life of mine where I enjoyed most. But then, it took a change when I got into college. It felt different in a way where there was liberation from family and the society as well, first step into the social life has always seemed amazing. First stop, I was the new explorer of the world and then I became another problem in the world. That very world I saw was the world of reality, where reality bites and not telling lies or fairy tales. It was tough to hang on and definitely tough to survive. Each day and every single second, waking up in the morning wondering what to do for the rest of the day has became a behavior. Unlike back in high school, there was nothing much to bother another then attending classes, school activities and my sports, purely simple. However, stepping into the future is a process part of growing up anyway so it was never easy. There were many hard times I had where I had to go through, relationships, family and personal future. You will wonder as you grow older as you gotta set your own future as you can't depend on parents to direct you for the rest of your life. Thus, making decision on what I had to do was always tough and challenging. Of course, I made mistakes and learned lessons well. Yet again, over time I would still make mistakes because I was still learning.

So after all, career wise wasn't a big problem for me because I always set myself a path where I live my own life. Relationship wise has always been a problem combining with family problem as well. The thing is I don't come from a wealthy family and the relationship in my family just don't bonded so well as we all have spent many years apart, so sometimes or perhaps most of the times I find it hard to communicate with my family. I did try to improve over and over again but it never seem to work unless there is mutual understanding which I don't get from my family. Thus, I chose to be an outsider in this family somehow by being more independent and not replying too much on them. Plus, relationships have not always been working out perhaps I'm still young and always out with the wrong girl or not the right girl. It is my personality and attitude that counts and certain people do find it hard to get along with me due to my open minded personality and more of a western culture attitude. Thus, it has always been hard somehow when I go on a date.

Again, these are all the problems I had gone through in my life and still are encountering some these days. But there is something I have learned which plays the most critical part in our life, it is about making decision wisely. When I think about all the bumpy journey I have gone through, it always reflected to me in a way where I could have made wiser decision. And that critical decision making has made me and able to tolerate improvement in my life. You see, sometimes when you're ought to do something for yourself then you have to consider your own capability and surrounding, how easy can that be when you have to pick a decision where it is good for you and will not affect others? Well, sadly to say it is never easy because decision can only be one and there will always be a sacrifice for one another, if you take it that way. From then on, I see or visualize my path in a broader circle where I open myself to more suggestions and opinions just to ensure I do not repeat mistakes or make another mistake in my life.

Of course, it hasn't been easy to do so in a way where I'm always the only child in the family who is making decision against my family, let's just say I'm rebellious in a political way. I always argue with my parents over my own right, as I don't like to be controlled, then again whenever I try to show them my achievement it is always something they never wanna look at because I'm not living their dreams. Till today, I still find it difficult just to get along with my family as there is always this wall seem to block the way. Then again, it all comes back to the decision I have made for my life which I have accepted it from the very beginning and so will bear all the consequences in my own responsibility. I get very positive and optimistic in my life, and also in everything that I do. I try my best to make things right, if I fail I will keep trying till miracle happens. I'm not somebody who gives up easily and always on the edge to pursue my dream and goal. That's how I live it the way I like it.

But then, there are also people who gets jealous and envious about others beautiful life says I. For those who envy and admirer without causing harm or any effects, it is a good thing as it can be taken as a role model or icon to live or have a better life. this will eventually help people to understand the fulfillment of life and to show them a life has a direction which you can be the indicator yourself. But sadly, there are those who get jealous and would try in anyway to jeopardize those lives. People comes in different way as some are good and some are with evil deeds. So you just gotta be very careful about it as well, when some people can't get enough out of their own life then they would stepping over the boarder to others' life which is a bad thing to do.

So after, a life is another page of story to be told and to live as well. Have your own life and life it the way you want it, or like it should be. Don't be afraid to speak for yourself for it is you who carries the worth in you. So start your own life right now at this very moment, because the difference you can make is a difference to the world.

by Jack Ho

I love the whole world

This is my most favourite song ever!

Tears

Tears of my Heart,
It is Yours that I seek,
Shall not You from the hidrance of yours,
Neither shall it succeed on Both,
Watch as you go,
Fly as the Birds high,
In the very moment I see tears,
Tears redefine your Soul,
Tears redefine my Love,
Tears redefine our Hearts,
Broken and Shattered visions have,
Smashed and melted into river of blood,
Yet I shall not forget the Green moores,
Once beautiful will always be remembered,
Home will always be Home where the Soul lies.

By Jack Ho

Melody in my Hand

Every move it makes,
Every little tick it has,
The sound of it represents the Melody,
Melody of Words,
Beautiful Words of the Heart,
Light and Shine of the Melody,
Brightly walks the path of all.
In my hand,
In the very soul,
in the very palm of Mine,
Words of Melody speak.

By Jack Ho

Heavy Rocks

Have you ever felt when the rock gets too heavy you eventually feel like dropping it and give up? Or you feel like the heavier it is the better it feels? Then sometimes, it is not you who carry the rock but it is the rock that is being thrown at you. And also, piles of rocks can be felt on the shoulder sometimes. So after all, these rocks are just pressure or stress that you gain from your everyday’s life of routine, works, studies, and relationship. It can be just about anything these days that could provide a heavy burden for you.

Stress or pressure is something nobody wants in a way because of the difficulty and hardship we would have to go through. Nothing is easy of course as we won’t know or understand not until we have learned to master the skills or gain knowledge of it. So, when people say stress or pressure and burden they often refer to the intense tension they feel within their mind or within them therefore it is the psychological hardship they feel or experience. When a person is stressed or pressured, he or she would lose control of its attitude in way where anger may occur yet some may turn emotionally sad or moody. Do you realize sometimes your friends or family members might look very dull and has got smiley on them at all? Of course, that is the very sign of something is bothering them well in their mind. Often, when people feel stressed or pressured they feel they need some space in away for them to get rid of their problems yet some tend to release their tension through anger or sadness onto someone else. These two situations are dangerous in a way because the human factors, which mean the human nature of overreacting, can actually cause harm to either ourselves or the people around us.

When a person is stressed or pressured, he or she keeps herself silent and not talking to anyone else. He or she exiles in a room alone in search of his or her own private space, and wish not to be bothered or helped by anyone else. So what is gonna happen when he or she is alone? Think about it for a second, suicide? Scream? Banging the wall? It can be just about anything that we would hardly expect or imagine. Let me put it this way, if that person has a positive attitude thus he or she can most likely to be thinking and handling the stress or pressured in a positive manner. When it is being handled positively, the outcome would be trying to resolve the problems by having logical and rational thinking to produce solutions. In key terms the very need of solving and getting rid of stress or pressure is to have solution. Thus, if a person is positive enough and able to control his or her emotion then he or she is able to manipulate the whole situation. When it is in control, it would be easier to deal with in order to resolve what the problem has. Of course, some people who are positive wouldn’t exile themselves as well because they would approach others for consultations which are even more efficient.

But how about those who are not so positive and yet would start doing silly things? Yes, these are the type of people you will have to watch out. When they have negative thinking, it may be one of the fastest ways to ruin their lives. Why? This is because the lack of confidence and intellectual mind to determine the brighter side of life, and also the environment plays a role as well sometimes. A negative thinker is usually people you would feel they have no goals or achievement towards their lives, and they will always say no to you no matter what you ask to participate. They would also show signs of not logical and rational behavior which they are often left out for a circle. It is good to say no sometimes but in a positive way, yet these types of people are often to be referring to the negative type. So when they are under stressed or pressured, they can be very suicidal because they are unable to handle the amount of rocks they have to carry. They can be very emotional as well because they feel they need attention or it makes them feel better to actually put it out on others. The very reason why they feel suicide is one of the fastest way to resolve their problems is because they are being irresponsible and the do not wish to go through the difficulty they have to encounter. But being irresponsible is not a good thing because once you have start something and you will have to end it as well. So in order to escape from the responsibility that seems to be heavy, it is best to run away from it and let other person to carry it for you which is very negative. When these piles of rocks are being left behind, he or she can run away freely and not bother to look back. So this often creates the burden and stress on others which eventually let other people to walk into the problems. But it is how irresponsible people in such a way that they are too afraid to face what the reality is as the lack of confidence within themselves often creates fear for themselves.

As for those who are emotional, they can be very pitiful and yet scary. Have you ever seen someone screaming their throat out just because they feel stressed or pressured? How about those who tend to cut themselves? And those who are to be physically abusive? These are the scary ones because in a way they can be very harmful. Of course, the ones who cry, scream or yell, and start cutting themselves are usually people who beg and crave for attention. Again, they want others to help them but yet by putting the responsibility onto others. Certain age-group people can be very emotionally tense, especially teenagers and adults who are in between mid 30s and 40s. Teenagers of course are still immature thus it is not a surprise that they can be very emotional, but as for the adult some can still be very immature as well because of the lack of rational and intellectual thinking due to the affect by the environment. Thus, these are the people who have psychological problem because sometimes they feel there is a need to feel pain in order to forget about the problems. Of course, the mind works one way or another by reacting to what is prioritize or what is more important when the body sends the signal. So when the mind is focusing on the pain it gets from the body, eventually it tends to forget about the problems which the stress or pressure would disappear but not for long because nobody can endure pain or else you start killing yourself to get rid of that feeling, yet it does happen sometimes.

But what about those who start to be physically abusive? Some guys can actually beat their wives or girlfriends when they feel stressed or pressured the physical force can be deadly as well. It is the anger that drives them towards to such situation, because they are unable to manipulate their own attitude. When you lost control, you would eventually lose yourself and start to forget what the reality is as you let your mind flies freely without coordinates and directions. Thus the craziness eventually is being thrown onto others which are harmful. Unconsciously, they are not aware of what they do as the mind could also shut down and let the body works its way through the uncontrollable anger.

Even when stress and pressure can be seen as a difficult manner to handle, but for those who can manage and handle it well they are very useful as well. In this positive aspect, some people tend to work better under pressure as it helps them to be more work quality efficient and productive. Besides, they are able to manipulate what is to be balance in order for them to deal with the whole situation, totally under control. Even when it feels stress, it helps to prioritize what is more critically important as to accomplish them. Thus, this helps a person to achieve his or her goal. Of course, through such a wild ride you’re able to develop your management skill and others or even learn more applications into your daily lives. Some even take it as a challenge because it is an accomplishment for them. When it is taken as a challenge, it is seen as a goal or a target to be accomplished. Personally, I get stress out certain times under pressure but yet it helps to work better and perform better as a result it gives me improvement in myself where I am able to see how far I have gone through and what I have achieve. And, I’m able to discover what I am capable of and to define what is impossible to overcome any limitations. Challenges are great when you do them and not just looking at them, as pressure or stress can be provided as a drive towards an accomplishment of goals and target. So, it is not that bad after all to work under stress and pressure but do take it just positively.

To think positively, it is a way to be more rational and intellectual where as you are to have a form of healthy lifestyle which doesn’t not only affect you but also towards others where you can create a positive and friendly environment. A single help stars with a single random kindness that gives another to others. The single step starts with yourself today or now, give it a try perhaps you can start to make a different and able to be a role model for others. Positively, the rocks will never be too heavy.

By Jack Ho

Visions

What do you see?
You think it is what you know?
Visions, yes it is.
What figures do you define?
Vision of what you visualized.
Perhaps, the object is what you see yet what you do not know.
Visions of the eye in the mind of a heart.
The eye of all, visualize.

By Jack Ho

Cross the Distance

Sometimes in life when you take a step onto a path, perhaps it is a path that is your life, then the journey begins. The moment when a journey begins, it would be adventurous in way with obstacles and wonders to overcome. Of course, it wouldn’t be easy at all to achieve something without having going through the hardship. Nothing is free in the world as everything comes with a price, a price that has to give. Remember when you were young? You used to dream about being somebody when you have grown up? Remember how enthusiast you were? It was like a big dream back then. But as you grow older, things changed and your dream still lives in your heart.

Some people may have carried on with a dream and trying to achieve it, some have achieved those dreams, but unfortunately some have lost those dreams. It must have not been easy chasing dreams, because the very moment when you want something in your life you gotta work hard for it. Then of course, many obstacles would often try to bring you down and tear you off from achieving your dream, these are just tests. With these tests be given by the nature of the world, it is able for you see and realize your determination and focus, sometimes it redefines your weakness as well as your strength. Yet again, many people have always been put to a disbelief that impossible can be possible then for those who have cross the distance they have eventually redefine what is the impossible. It is still many hard works before you know you’re gonna take a step into a journey where you do not know its destination, unless you have set a course. Many dreams have failed, perhaps those may have found something better as fate takes a course into life. But again, it is just a matter of decision where you think what would be best for you as a result.

It is glorious when dream has been caught, it is the best sensational feeling ever that one can experience in a lifetime. Nobody can take such a victory from you, as it is well remembered by many and most of all it is in your heart. Then of course, the long journey where you have taken to reach your dream has been a well-worth learning journey of a lifetime. We may learn a lot actually, as along the road you may see what and how it takes to reach something that is desired by you, whether it is your dream or goal yet again you will learn what it takes to achieve them. Often, we can be weaken by obstacles yet it still lies in the faith of our own to strengthen ourselves. Never give up is one thing, as determination is one of the key components to succeed through the hardship that one can ever experience.

Some dreams may seem impossible, but then the effort and hard work are well given to chase as impossible comes from possible. In the very end, you will always know at least you have tried something in your life where it was once meaningful to you, and perhaps it will always be. There is no harm in trying as it is a mean of learning process where you are able to improve yourself. No doubt, books and lecturers are not able to teach you the value of life but yet it is your own mentor or tutor within yourself are able to do so when you have put yourself onto a journey towards your goal or dream.

Always do something while you still can, as perhaps on a very when you look back you will never regret from the greatness you have seen in yourself. Rewards will always come later when hard work has been spent, neither you nor me will know what the outcome will be. Life, it is interesting and wonderful after all. I found my dream since I was young and it’s been a dream come true journey all along, I am still craving for more. When will I stop? I don’t know as I do what ever I still can to go beyond a distant in my dream, and that is the most beautiful journey of my life. Nothing less or more than a little soul in myself, and a life, with a value that is worth a lifetime to live.

By Jack Ho

Enough never seems Enough

Nothing seems to be enough these days, it is always the desire to have more and more just to satisfy the needs. But after all, it is our very own choice to decide on what is enough.

The Olympic has just kicked off last Friday, and it has been stunning journey all along. China's presentation has been the greatest I have ever seen, and totally I have no words that can describe what is beyond superb and perfect. China has definitely open everyone's mouth with a shocking sensational feeling. Then of course, it comes the very competitive field of swimming where records have been shattered. Michael Phelps has put his eyes on 8 gold medals and he is definitely on his way to achieve what he does best. Jason Lezak has swam a time where no one could have ever imagined with a shocking 46.06s during the 4x100m Freestyle relay final. It is amazing how far these olympians have redefined impossible once again. Where old guns become young guns once more, how possible it is when one desires to achieve the goal that is at heart when boundaries are not in the state of mind at all.

Even though the great ones are doing what they do best, not to mention for those who did not achieve but yet it is still their desires to be the Olympians. Of course, it is never enough when one has the desire to achieve something out of their mind. Yet, gold medal is not the only focus they have but shattering records and showing their best is what it is all about.

Conspiracy of Jack Ho Part 3: One of these Days

Life these days are just feeling more and more different after all, as time goes by. Each day, I do feel boredom grows within me and all by myself. Even though it has been quite boring or meaningless yet I am still doing what I want and what I like in my life. It is what I like to do that keeps me going and giving me a wonderful life, but in a way when I am not doing them I really feel bored because I got nothing else to do. I have done many things just to keep myself company from time to time and yet there still seems to be a missing piece of the puzzle, and I know very well of that missing puzzle.

This single piece of puzzle is still difficult to find, somehow, as it is based on the human nature which is a partner. I do admit that it is quite boring single but also great, as everything’s got its good and bad. I do date a lot lately, it’s been great meeting new girls and knowing them as well. But perhaps it is because I have been choosy as being single for so long therefore I am unable to accept a new relationship again. I do like someone, a big crush on her some more, she is Evangeline. I did honestly tell her about how I feel but yet I guess she took it as a joke because, perhaps, I joke too much so it didn’t sound serious at all. Evangeline is a nice, very adorable and it feels very natural whenever she is around. But perhaps, she is not ready to have a relationship and thus I’m still being left out. I guess it is alright because everything takes time, as nothing can be forced to its limitation without giving time for it. I do hope that she can remain good friends with me though, I understand that she is quite busy with her work sometimes but I do feel kinda bad that she doesn’t reply my messages or return my calls. It feels like she’s ignoring me or something, but perhaps it is just me thinking too much. Then, I also met a girl who is really gorgeous but yet she can’t be with me because she is still with her boyfriend. Yet again, I supposed as many people has that she needs time to break up with her boyfriend so I’m not complaining or being optimistic about her at all. After all, I’m just letting love find its way till the very right day comes then perhaps that is when I would finally find a love.

I love my training, as I’m growing much stronger than before. I work hard on it just to get myself better because since the last race I discovered my weakness and I’m working hard to improve them. Everybody needs to improve themselves in order to progress well and step ahead into the future. So I’m doing what I can and the best I can to reach a high level of myself. While I enjoy my training, I also feel difficult and suffering sometimes because some training can just get really tough and tiring. But I do not mind because that is how hard work should be and without pain there is no gain. So I do keep telling myself that it would be okay to suffer now as reward will come later, and it is worth achieving my dream as this has been something I live to experience and treasure it.

I also find it harder to trust people around me these days; even my instinct has been telling me that I should be by myself and not mixing around too much. I should also just being myself and focus on my goals where as I shouldn’t bother what is around me, especially friends around me. I do hang out with my friends a lot lately as to get rid of my boredom, but then again it is these people who create problem and hence I do not trust them. It can be anybody around me that I am mentioning here, because it has been a feeling that I get people are full of deceptions. Most of them are liars, backstabbers, hypocrites, racists and narcissists. I feel bad for them because people like them couldn’t seem to get enough out of their own life and yet it is filled with jealousy. The first thing that I realized was that they were people who wanted to compete with me. I don’t mind having competitions or competitive friends, but not becoming enemies and backstab me the whole time. Even my friends in other places who are professional triathletes as well do not backstab me yet we compete with great competitiveness and remain friendly all the time, unlike these people around me here as they do not possess the sportsmanship that an athlete shall have. Even though a beginner would pay respect to anyone, and not to mention these people around me are not even elite or any professional at all so that is why they do not have the sportsmanship. So they have not just treated me as enemies but they have also become backstabbers, this is the part where I do not understand at all. First stop, you considered that I am your enemy which I’m fine with it because it is your thought. But yet, you backstab me just because you think you are better than me where as during each training you can’t even surpass my minimum and lowest level of fitness. Then again, you guys are out there talking about how lousy I am when you know you can’t and unable to compete with me, it sounds a little a pathetic though. Then again, you guys are also often out there telling people how great you guys are because of you have been there and here, for a joy ride and not competitions. How disrespectful is that? I mean you should look at yourself first before you can put your judgments on someone else, not mention you can’t even swim at all. I don’t mind if you wanna start competing with me, because I would feel glad there is a little competition and you wish to improve yourself. But then, it is so disgusting when you start telling people that I’m no good and you can defeat me just because you think you are already on the top on the world.

For God’s sake here is a little detail about if those people out there do not know me well; I’ve been swimming since I was 7, been cycling since I was 15, and been running since I was 14, and been doing triathlon since I was 16, and also been doing endurance sports since I was 18. I am 24 now and it has been 3 years of professional careers in triathlon, so you can start using calculators to do your maths for your own understanding because most of you have just began recent years and yet you make yourself sound like professionals who have not even competed overseas ONCE!

It is okay that you people look down on me just because you think you are better than me, I don’t mind as I have always known these people are a bunch of narcissists. It is terrible in some way because I treated them all as good friends and people I have always respect and look up to, but for now it is no more because of your pathetic attitude. You disrespect me and you do not deserve to be my friends as I wish not to have people who are disgusting and pathetic in my life, as you guys would only make me look like a clown.

Of course, I would be glad enough to compete with you all for a showdown to know who is the best, which I think these guys will not have the guts to do so because they can only talk. It doesn’t matter what bikes you guys have even if you have the lightest and most expensive ones, because if your legs are not fit and strong enough then you are still a junk. The bikes don’t make you fast as it is only you who can make it fast! So if you start thinking you can defeat me, perhaps you should start proving it and not just saying it, and I will show no mercy anymore.

By Jack Ho

Stupidity

Sometimes I just don't really get to understand what a girl thinks after all as their doings would really turn your brain into tonnes of questions. As to this, the most serious common problem that I see and speculate is the amount of abusive relationship that girls encounter these days. Some girls may seem great and gorgeous or having a good time in the relationship, but the real fact lies behind.

Most girls are either being cheated or beaten up by their boyfriends these days, it is cruel indeed. But no doubt, in a logical and sensible manner are to leave and walk out of the relationship for the sake of not being killed. Yet, these girls do not save themselves but letting such horrible and terrible things happen to them, not just once, but over and over again. Why would they wanna suffer and feel torture? Is it really worth dying for the person they love? Is it really worth losing own lifestyle and exile for the rest of it? I asked around a few girls and I was shocked by the answers given.

A girl said to me she felt great being controlled, she likes to be scolded, and she definitely likes to be abused. Okay, that girl is only 16 and I assumed that she's still very naive and immature so perhaps that explain why, but yet it is not sensible enough because she likes pain thus it does explain that she has mentality problem. Then, another girl who has a friend who is so beautiful but yet she is often abused by her boyfriend for the past 5 years. She was beaten up using a baseball bat, and constantly being scolded and yelled at, and certain times being punched or slapped. It was said that this guy is her first boyfriend and she is so much in love with him, but I definitely think that guy is an idiot after all. Just because when a girl is so in love and begin to lose herself, yet the amount of pain and nightmare she can bring to her life is well being accepted by her because of the sacrifices she would wanna make in order to detain the relationship. Girls like that do feel helpless and hopeless because to them it is the end of everything if they lose their love ones.

Sometimes I really pity people like that because they are just so helpless, even though people try to help them yet they won't accept help because they themselves are the problem. In many cases, they were given choices but it is often rejected because they feel the need in the relationship is not worth giving up. Life is out there and whole lot more, it is not just about one guy or one girl because at the end of the very it is still yourself who gets to enjoy your own life. Why exile yourself in fear and pain when you're given the choice of a better life? Things don't always come in the way you want but yet better things do come when it is all least expected. People gotta learn to appreciate all the little things they have and not dying for something galaxy away. There is no point in waiting or staying where as you don't move on after all, because the only set back is you get older while your friends around you are moving ahead with greater joy. It is not that bad to let go of the past at all because everyday is a new day where every new second brings a new journey of life. See things more in a way where you're open to opinions and suggestions because these are the guideline to a better and healthier lifestyle.

As for the guys who are being abusive, I agree it is in the mentality of men's ego somehow. I've seen how men treated women with inhumanity; it is a total disrespect to the human race. Some men think they are the greatest and no one else can say another word other than themselves; yet how great are they when they are nothing in themselves at all? Men can be really stupid too and not just women, because men possess the mind of possessive power as they think they are in control in everything. The world comes with a balance of humanity, everyone gets to speak and talk so it is not just one person or species that is in control of everything. Thus, the egoism in a men or their lifestyle are totally a disgrace and stupidity in them.

Girls can be very forgiving and caring then again everything's got its limit so be wise, but yet they can be very fragile as well because it is what they are. Stop abusing them because they are human being as well and not some filthy animal as we are all human. Wake up people and be clear of your own life, tomorrow is a new day and the next second is a new beginning. Get a change!

By Jack Ho

Conspiracy of Jack Ho Part 2: Racism in Sports

It has finally come to my worst nightmare after all these years, as I have been worrying so much about it yet it has finally come true. Ever since I took up sports, the fight in my heart for achievement has always been strong and well focused. But just yet, I have also always bear in my there is another game to be faced as well which is the unfair judgment from sport council. I don’t depend so much on the national sport council after all because all the while I knew they have been treating athletes with favourism and racism. Since I was young, I have always told myself not to bother about them and stand on my own to achieve what I want in my life, but still I have come to a point where in order to represent the country there are procedures need to be followed accordingly.

When I knew the procedures have to be taken into account in order for me to step further into my dream and goal, I knew I would eventually encounter the worst nightmare of my life. Recent competition was Sarawak International Triathlon, I did great and it was the best performance I ever had. I clocked 2:05.46 and was placed 9th in the International Category, and 1st in the Sarawak Category. With the best result I ever had, I was advised to appeal to the Malaysia Triathlon Association to race in International Triathlon Elite group. Then, the first outcome of the appeal was favourism as the chairman said I wasn’t good enough because I am not as good as his son. Yet, his son shared the same standard as I do but it is just that I could not outrun him during the running leg. Thus, I admitted that I’m not as good as his son is with sincerity and honesty.

Then, with my time being clocked the fastest within Sarawak among all Sarawakian triathlete, I was named the overall champion. I thought with such performance I can at least represent the state as everyone has expected so because there is no one else who can beat me, even the closest guy behind me was 1 minute gap. Besides, the Sarawak Triathlon Association has also promised me sponsorships to compete in other races as I performed well and they would choose me to represent the state as I was named the best and finest. Yet, these were all empty promises and lies. Last year, they told they did not have budgets to send us out for races but yet people came asking me Sarawak team presented in the Port Dickson International Triathlon and why I wasn’t there? I was shocked when everyone asked me the same question as the association has told me that they had no money, so it came to a point where everybody started to realize something has gone wrong because the athletes they sent were those who lost to me all the time. After hearing all these unfair selections they had or lies, I started to lost my trust in them and told myself not to be too optimistic for this year. Then, a day ago a friend who is a Chinese from the sport council contacted me to ask if I am gonna compete in Desaru Half-Ironman in August because the Sarawak Triathlon Association is sending a team and the selection has been done. I was surprised to hear this somehow because I was never contacted, so I confirm with my friend that I was never told by the association about it. Then, my friend told me they selected the top 3 best triathletes in Sarawak to represent, he thought I was in it because I clocked the best time in Sarawak but he was wrong. So he told me all the 3 seats were given to the malays, and I know who are those 3 because they were so far behind me during the race and only manage to finish after 10 minutes I have. It is a big disappointment indeed as we all could see how unfair as they play favourism and racism in their system. Just because I’m Chinese so I’m not good enough to carry the name Sarawak even though I was born here? If they think they can do better than I am, but I guess I can even do better than they think as I know I will do even better next year or the race. I’m up for it because triathlon is in my blood. They may take away my name from the list, but they will never get to take away my pride because people will always know. So I’m not depending on our pathetic government anymore as we all could see how unfair they are.

Thus, it has come to a point where why Malaysia can never improve themselves in this world, for some reason that everyone know. However, with the anger I have right now I do keep myself calm and not to bother about any of these anymore. I still can catch my dream and goal, and achieve to greater distances. Faith I have, and it is me who can never be taken away.

Gently

Swiftly, gently, flows of nature,
Gently touches my head.
Wind beneath my lips,
Flight of kisses blew along the gentle breeze.
The light that turns the sea into field of gold,
Yellow as it is and brightly shall it be,
Open the door of Hope.

By Jack Ho

The Rebirth

"Jack, remember who you are and what you are!" - Anonymous


The race was just over, a day ago. I still do not know what have actually gone through my mind, but yet all I can and could feel is my focus. Something, somehow, and somebody is directing me towards something I do not see. Yet, what it has given me felt so great and it is the new reborn of me.

I feel so much more completely different now, ever since the race on Sunday ago. I never thought I could do it again as I was not so confident in certain things, yet I kept myself calm and steady by remembering those wise words that have given and dwell into me. I came 9th Placed in the OD 16-29 Category, and 1st Placed in the Sarawak Closed Category. I lost last year, I lost myself, my fame, and my dignity, I was defeated by many for the past 3 years. But this year, I took it all back and brought them down like how they brought me down, and perhaps better than I have never thought. Revenge? Perhaps it did seem like, but I did not feel like revenge at all. But I was overwhelmed to see who I have actually defeated, and that gave me a sense of rebirth, the new me. Yet, the race was not about winning or losing to me after all, it was just about performing my best and takes my best shot.

The only shot I had to prove who I am, and what I am made of. I lost myself once, twice, yet the journey I had taken has always reminded my root and path. Finally, after I crossed the finished line, when the pain was over, I knew something was already different as many people looked at me differently. My family was there to support me though, yet it was to their surprise to see my performance. But I doubt my dad would remember it well, as he has forgotten all that in me so I keep my fingers crossed and not saying a word but just feel glad and appreciate their supports.

After all, I feel there is more to do now because I know I will be even better. Perhaps, this might even be the beginning of just something that I have dreamed of. Yet, I shall always remember those who have taught me well and gave me the heart to be the I am now. Wise they have, yet remembered shall always be. Hence, it is the rebirth of a new me and it is just about to get more fun.

By Jack Ho