The Rebirth

"Jack, remember who you are and what you are!" - Anonymous


The race was just over, a day ago. I still do not know what have actually gone through my mind, but yet all I can and could feel is my focus. Something, somehow, and somebody is directing me towards something I do not see. Yet, what it has given me felt so great and it is the new reborn of me.

I feel so much more completely different now, ever since the race on Sunday ago. I never thought I could do it again as I was not so confident in certain things, yet I kept myself calm and steady by remembering those wise words that have given and dwell into me. I came 9th Placed in the OD 16-29 Category, and 1st Placed in the Sarawak Closed Category. I lost last year, I lost myself, my fame, and my dignity, I was defeated by many for the past 3 years. But this year, I took it all back and brought them down like how they brought me down, and perhaps better than I have never thought. Revenge? Perhaps it did seem like, but I did not feel like revenge at all. But I was overwhelmed to see who I have actually defeated, and that gave me a sense of rebirth, the new me. Yet, the race was not about winning or losing to me after all, it was just about performing my best and takes my best shot.

The only shot I had to prove who I am, and what I am made of. I lost myself once, twice, yet the journey I had taken has always reminded my root and path. Finally, after I crossed the finished line, when the pain was over, I knew something was already different as many people looked at me differently. My family was there to support me though, yet it was to their surprise to see my performance. But I doubt my dad would remember it well, as he has forgotten all that in me so I keep my fingers crossed and not saying a word but just feel glad and appreciate their supports.

After all, I feel there is more to do now because I know I will be even better. Perhaps, this might even be the beginning of just something that I have dreamed of. Yet, I shall always remember those who have taught me well and gave me the heart to be the I am now. Wise they have, yet remembered shall always be. Hence, it is the rebirth of a new me and it is just about to get more fun.

By Jack Ho

Fed Up

Somehow, I am just fed up of everything around me lately. I just feel so miserable and terrible as nothing seems to be what I'm seeing. Time passes so fast, yet life seems to be moving so slowly. I feel really boring these days, especially lately as nothing seems to amuse me at all. Even what I do best and what I love most don’t seem to give me that feel of something meaningful as everything seem to be so blanked and plain. Meaningless, no directions and as if I’m lost in the jungle because nothing feels fun anymore. Somehow, I feel like I’m hollow as I feel like I have got no feelings towards anything at all. Whenever someone say something to me or talk to me, I do not have proper respond at all as I just feel so hesitate to talk. I just feel like keeping quiet and keep the silence to myself yet trying to find my own way.

Sometimes, I wish there is someone who I can actually speak my heart out with yet there seem to be no one but just myself. No one is around anymore as it is just me being alone here in this place. It feels dark, cold and lovely yet my heart still dwells within a light of hope in searching of something. Things change as we all grow up, nothing seems to be the way it was before because the road of life is a journey that pushes forward no matter what. The darkness is just so cold surrounding me, there is nothing more than I can hear. Silence has become my language these days, I just don’t talk much anymore as I just don’t how to express myself or talk to anybody. It feels like everyone is a stranger to me and I just don’t feel it’s me if I were to fit me. The circles I find are just circles of lies where nothing seem to be true, because that is how life is where there is no perfection at all. Silence I have, no words can ever describe what I have that dwells in me because I don’t seem to have the keep to unlock the door. No one, I can seem to talk with though. I tried, yet I failed, then I tried again yet I failed. It feels hard not being heard sometimes because the more you keep inside the more the weight of the burden increase, it just feels heavier and heavier. But yet, the only person that is left is I and myself for I am the only to speak out my heart. Everything is difficult for sure, even in trying the best to live a life yet it is always hard to do so because too many obstacles in life can just bring you down like an avalanche. Of course, no matter how tough things can get in life you still try your best to stand up and not fallen again and again.

But yet, when trying over and over again you just get tired and fed of it. Sometimes, our strength can be very limited no matter far we have already push ourselves to because we are not robots and no matter how tough and perfect we can be yet there is always a weakness within everyone of us. I just feel so fed up at some point because I feel tired, I’m tired of all the things around me all of the sudden as I do not seem have the inspiration and motivation to go on. It is just be feeling tired and feel like I need a break, I need to breakaway from all that is surrounding. All my breath has been taken away yet never came back, and I’m still breathing hard to live on. Life is tough but it’s even tougher when you don’t do anything about it. The real thing is life is just a word that we know yet the meaning of it something we don’t only yet is what we do.

My life is boring, somehow finally someone said it to me today as I felt so much better after all because I finally got to know someone can understand the type of life I live. Rebecca, a friend of mine, happened to be in the pool today with her boyfriend Ukui then we had a long chat. I know I complain a lot about being single because it is really making me feeling really bored. Its’ not like I have a choice or something but yet I’m doing what I have living my life, yet it does feel so bored when you’re not doing what you do best because you’re just alone. I do try my best to get rid of my boredom by reading, writing, and dating but of course if you the same thing over and over again for long you might feel bored of it as well. Then, out of a sudden today everybody says I am choosy. Right, I guess I gotta admit that I am choosy after all. Even though I have told people and clarified that I’m not as well, but yet it has come to my realization that I am choosy after. Well, the thing about being choosy is because I do not wish to end our suffering in a relationship and have a hard time for both. It is not a good thing to because it would just hurt anyone including myself. A relationship is not something to play around with because it is the key to a life of two person and not taking is as a game because you might end up being played by the game as many people have already got their retributions for playing too much, where as some are even devastated. Perhaps, it is just that I’m not ready or something like I feel lazy to go through a relationship again doesn’t matter if it is good or bad, because the one thing about me I set things straight as I want it or would love it to be from consideration of the other half as well. Here is how relationship works as it is all about compromises. Then the fear of certain things in relationship is always there and I’m very sure everyone has gone through their own nightmares and would put them to a phobic stage in other relationship. Of course, to overcome this would mean you gotta have the guts to do and move on which I would give myself a chance to eventually. But yet, it is hard to fall in love with somebody when you know you don’t really have anyone else to fall in love with. I have dated so many girls yet no one seems to be compatible or click to be honest about it, after all it is still me being choosy down to the bottom line. I do give chances yet it is always being abandoned by trust.

It is really hard to trust just about anyone these days, sometimes even your own family can’t be trusted. Nowadays, I just refuse to trust anyone because I realised no one is being honest and it is all lies. Words of lies, and they are just so fake. It is so easy to know when a person is actually lying just by their eyes and gestures by these are the two common factors to reveal a lie. I have seen how many have already lied to me and I just kept quiet about it, yet I just pretend I do not know anything and pretend they are still my friends. I don’t really enjoy having such friends around because it feels disgusting and disrespectful because they are not even respecting you. Their smiles are just so fake by the moment they smile, and you can know by looking into their eyes because the eyes will only tell the truth where it betrays all lies. I do keep all these to myself because even the closest people around me can pull out a lie on me, think I do not know yet I know everything that is going on but just pretending I do not know. At some point I do feel glad to be alone because you don’t have to bother about being cheated or lied or even hurt by it. Some people may think I’m stuck up and not appreciating friendship, but the truth is I’m staying in the circle of lies where it would only make my life more miserable. This is how cruel people can be when they start to lie for their own good because people can be very selfish and inconsiderate, doesn’t matter of he or she seems very good looking because appearances can be very deceiving and yet it is still the eyes that betray all. I don’t mix around much these days because of such problems, not that I don’t wanna face such problems but it is just not worth the fight of it as it is a waste of life. The dramas and gossips are just too rubbish at all as I can suppose these people got nothing else better to do or they can’t get the hell enough out of their own life and start being jealous. Sometimes, people just like to condemn other people because of their jealousy and love to see the devastation of others’ lives. This is how cruel people can be as well, yet what they do not is the destruction that they bring to themselves. I’m so bother by it for now because I have been telling myself not to trust people and just don’t trust people easily because it is not worth the risk to take. Yet, I do have certain people that I trust but still I keep an awareness and even if they lie there is nothing I can do because it is their wish to lie and it is not my jurisdiction to say not to lie, only God knows for sure. The only concern I have is those who have lied so much and yet I wonder what is gonna happen to them, because at the end of the very day they can get so dramatic. Even guys are good being drama queens these days, not just the girls. Girls fake it good when they lie as many guys are just blinded to see, yet it is so easy to track their lies. Lies, the only thing that everyone is good at by hurting others. I just hate it when people start to lie because it feels so cruel and disrespectful. Even some people claim they themselves are so good, kind, polite, well manner, and so on yet they can be very good liars, as their deceptions are often done positively where they don’t keep their words.

Many people don’t keep their words these days as they only say it for fun, or just to say it and it can be forgotten. Indeed, Never is a Promise from Angela Aki, people don’t keep their promises because it will never happen as there is no sincerity and faith. Again, people just say things for fun and that’s it. Here is one thing, why can’t people just don’t make promises when they know they can’t keep it? It seems really fun for them to keep empty promises after, and perhaps these are the type of people who has no moral and family values. Yet it is a shame on such people because they can’t and unable to live the life they wish as the only they can do best is to try and take others’. Promise is just a word, and never is an ending that shows all.

I’m just feeling fed up with everything around me, and I just hope I can get through it. Perhaps I’m just feeling nervous about the race this Sunday. Unlike the past 2 years, Syaza was there to support me all the time and was always there to support me mentally. And this year, it is all without her and I gotta focus it right by myself. What past has passed, it is only a history or memory, but yet the importance is now because it is the now that holds the future.

"Friendship is just a passing cloud"

By Jack Ho

The Females

Women, the attractive species for all men who can’t resist them. They are our partners and the birth giver of the world. Of course, women are indeed the very vital part of our lives as they are human beings as well. Yet, human beings do make mistakes with awful things that happen around us these days. Nobody is ever perfect indeed yet it is the kind of nature that has been in us, instinct, without a doubt. Yet, no matter how miserable certain things can be yet we still do not hesitate to venture for new chances and opportunity.

So recently, I have realised the females surrounding me has come to a point where it is indeed terrifying under certain circumstances. It is not my jurisdiction of prejudice towards the female species to criticise or comment on women of the modern days, it is just those who have made and done horrible things that would certainly need some comments. Comments of mine are just opinions and thoughts of intellectual and logical manner as things are seen realistically according to facts and truth. Now, many girls in my life tend to have the same of natural behaviour and instincts with such an obvious life of theirs which have reviewed to me very often.

Females are known to be soft, gentle, and loving. Yet, it is because of what they are in nature then it portrays them as a very fragile being in terms of that they can be hurt easily. Of course, when playing a role in being fragile isn’t just an act of sympathy yet it is a behaviour that constantly being used as a weapon to melt men’s heart, as men do fall for a pitiful and tearful situation. And yet, it is because of their glass portrayed manner it shows and reviews the sensitivity of a woman, the immature understanding of theirs, and as well as the poison of the evil deeds that have which have been seen and defined as their jealousy. Women are very sensitive indeed as the egoism and selfishness within them has provided a drive towards such behaviour. Thus, many women are unable to accept facts and truth because of their selfishness and egoism that have made them very denial. When they deny and start using excuses which are illogical and irrational at all, that is the key of their escape from the Alcatraz. By escaping from facing the truth, they are able to live in the world of their fairy tales and fantasy which are not realistically at all, though it is a reality to them. Of course, very often such living lifestyle has led many females to a devastation stage of life and often ended up very miserable. Then some females even stay denial even though they clearly know the mistakes and negativities they have, it is not they do not understand but it is because they are stubborn in way that they are selfish.

Women are really stubborn because they have great dignity within themselves, and of course not all have the dignity that we think they do. The dignity I mention here is a form of respect in a way that they protect their own image. Image is certainly important for women because it is their attraction for all men and reputation of themselves. The beauty they have speaks for them well by the very first sight, yet looks are deceiving. Then, their attitudes are often stubborn because of their attitude which can be seen obviously around the women we see these days. Besides, some women are also unable to define their needs and wants because of their desire. The desire to have for the sake of the reputation and their images, the desire and demand to stay and further to uplift their fairy tales. Yet, they often lead to financial problems in women anyway. Hence, they become desperate and the thirst for money.

This is not my criticism in females of course, because these are what I have seen and came across in many dates of mine. Of course, to all the good girls I respect you and appreciate that you stick to your own dignity of life. Even for those who are not doing so well, I still have respect for you because I believe you can change for a better if you give yourself a chance. I have met many nice ladies throughout my life, and they have given me an understanding of how precious a woman can be.
Females are very caring indeed, and very loving. The kind and gentle heart they have represent the tender nature of themselves, yet lovely as they are. Some may be really smart and intelligent, beautiful but yet truly rational and intellectual, attitude wise some are very well manner because their family brought them up well. Thus, these girls have set great examples of beautiful and wonderful women.

In my previous articles, Too many Girls yet it is only Me, I mentioned how many girls I have dated within a week. Thus, I would like to reveal the girls who have set the great examples that I have, in my theory and assumptions, reconsider them to be girls who are really well manner. Of course, they were terrible ones as well which have contributed ideas and more understanding towards females. But no matter how complicated females, yet the only thing we know are certainly assumable that no one is ever perfect indeed. Thus, it is up to our very heart to accept and open to its natural distinctive characteristic.

I love women, great respect for them. Of course, I know some girls out there are either hating me or loving me as friends. I appreciate for those who are my friends, as well as those whom I shared my life with once. The girls around me are often very unique in their own ways because each and every one of them has given me different description at all. Especially those I have dated, but of course I have dated them all, as I should only refer to those whom I have great dates with. Perhaps I should name a few in order to reminisce those wonderful days of mine, I miss those girls yet they are really great friends of my life. I can’t exactly remember how many girls I have dated because it is countless, and I never kept record of it. But yet, the only record I have is the wonderful memory given by them.

Sandickey - She was the girl I dated when I was with my first girlfriend. Sandickey was a great person because she’s very matured and independent. We went out for movies very often, and certain times lunch and dinner, or even breakfast. She’s very adorable for sure, and she was always somebody who would always be there for me when I needed a conversation. Even though she doesn’t show much of a caring person and loving type, yet her personality speaks it all. Of course, when we used to date she was single and I have always been attached. Now she’s attached and I am truly happy for her as she can finally settle down with a wonderful life.

Sara - Sara was the girl I had a crush on back in high school, and I hardly see her. The most we have seen each other was like only 3 times throughout our lives. Even though the first time we met wasn’t a date, as we coincidently met up in Gadong during one of those weekend where I would always go to Bandar for dinner. She was really shy when I first saw her, so was I as I was a very shy guy before. I was really happy to see her, she was really cute and lovely. Then, the second time was when we went to a concert together in Jerudong. Finally, after I graduated from St.Michael’s and I never got to see Sara again as I was too far away from her. I did promise her many times that I would go up to Bandar to see her, yet those promises I made ended up disappointed her. I felt really about it for sure because I really liked Sara a lot back then yet I put her down. So after a few years, we met again last year in Miri as she was here for a weekend with her family. She has changed a lot though, and was not the Sara I used to know, but yet she has always been the beautiful Sara I have always known in my heart.

Syaza - Syaza was my second ex-girlfriend. She was one of the greatest person I have ever dated, and the greatest person ever of my life and most miserable one as well. We pretty much had many things in common and we shared them a lot. She is the only girl in my life that I have experience anything without hesitation and ignorance. She was very responsible, very patience, caring and loving, and very curious, and most of all she was my date of all kinds of dates I have ever had. She always gave herself a chance to try though it may be difficult in some task yet she would give a try. We spent lots of time together, and there were all great times with beautiful memories. She was always somebody would bring my day with her lovely and cheerful laughter which melted my heart. Hearing her soft-spoken words of tender loving was always the inspiration to have a beautiful life. Thus, she is in my list of my wonderful dates.

Sylvia - My buddy, my real bestfriend. The only date we had was when we both were still single. We realised that we had many things in common as well, especially the music and type of lifestyle we loved. She’s very caring, and open-minded in a way where our conversations were unlimited. The only date we had was really funny to me, because it was a Sunday afternoon and I felt very bored so I decided joke around with Sylvia by telling her I was already in Parkson waiting for her to watch a movie. Actually I was at home when I made that call, it was a prank yet she took it so serious that she made it to Parkson to catch the movie. So I had to be at the movie as well in the end, and we watched the movie called The Day After Tomorrow which has forever reminded the both us that the actor in the movie was exactly the same characteristic of me. I remembered well, Sylvia said “Jack Hall was just like you, so stubborn!!!” and I admitted that I was really stubborn because I pushed myself through the impossible. So, we had a fun time in the movie. It was great, and Sylvia is still my great friend until today.

Grace - She was a very adorable and lovely girl, because she has a very cute voice. I dated her in 2005 which we had great times together. She was the type of girl who would do anything just to have as well, it was really fun when we were out all day long. We had fun by the beach, movies, lunch, breakfast, dinner, and just about anywhere we could go in Miri. But Grace was a person with bad temper so things didn’t work out in the end. She was the very first girl to have melted my heart in my life ever for the first time, because she baked me a cheese bake on my 21st birthday and we had a great dinner together in Fratini. She’s very lovely indeed as she’s very playful and know how to have fun. Thus, all the dates we had together were so great and fun to me, she is definitely somebody I would always remember well. But things got bored really quickly as well after a few months, Miri is just too small.

Aisyah - Well, this girl was awesome. We had a scandalicious time together back in 2005, as she was my date out of many occasions and most of my time. Even my coach went “Jack, I know you like Aisyah!” as my relationship didn’t do well with Lizzie back then. Aisyah was a very nice girl to hang out with, again she knows how to have fun and we had great times together. She’s a great lover as well, and she’s really somebody who can have a great talk with.

Yin Yin - This is the most naive and innocent girl I have ever met in my life. She’s so quiet and hardly speaks a word, yet it was to everyone’s surprise that she could talk a lot to me. I met Yin when I was still in college in 2004 during a small gathering in one of the lecturer’s place. Jason, a friend, told me that this girl Yin hardly talks to anybody and have a long-term relationship with a guy. But I got to know Yin somehow as Jason introduced, then it was to Jason and Mdm.Maria’s surprise that Yin could talk very well with me. I did like Yin back then, but when I knew she has a boyfriend so I never bothered to go any further. The first time we dated, it was the longest date we ever had because we were out from afternoon till late night. The date was so simple and yet felt so great, something that I would and have never forgotten. We were out for a movie, it was Harry Potter, then hung around Parkson for a little chit chat. Then we had dinner together, and spent the rest of the evening in San Fransisco. It was great because Yin and I could talk so much that our conversation seemed endless. Till these days, Yin and I still could talk a lot and never stop. She is really adorable and have a very funny personality as she’s easily amused with any jokes. I had a great time knowing her and after all these while, she would always be one of the closest person to my heart.

Dinah - Dina was a girl who is like the bestest friend ever in my life. There is no words I could ever describe Dinah, the only we would always wanna do is hug each other for as long as we could. We hardly see each other anymore these days, yet we spent a lot of times together in college and the greatest date we ever had was a walk in the park till late night and so unforgettable because we spent hours having a great conversation. Dinah is somebody would always be there for me no matter, and we care about each other a lot. Dinah, no words can ever describe such a great girl and yet she is my soul bestfriend and greatest friend ever. -Hugs Dinah-

Oh well, I guess that is all I can say because there are just too many girls I have dated till my list is totally. Not to say totally out, but I get really lazy about it as well. Yet, the females I have known in my life have been both great and not too good to me as well, as everything is never perfect and the good and bad are always there. These were the few girls who have gave me so much in my life, and yet there are still many I have not mentioned here like Ayesha, Elyvna, Ling Huei, Karie, Angie, Eja, Julie, Sandra, Jessica, Tina, Yang Ling, Joey, Jasmine, Jennifer, Elizabeth, Joanne, Jacinta, Jane, Kim, Lucy, Mary, Stefania, Siaw Chyn, Nena, Ovi, Vanessa, Wan Lyn, and many more. But yet, the only thing that I have learned most is female is complicated indeed with uniqueness of their own.

By Jack Ho

Words of a Mask

The Cover was let Open for One to in, welcome it has neither anyone could refuse.
No concern for matter as natural as it is, deeds of the heart of deception with Evil thoughts.
Lies, lies as they are yet blind as we do.
The mask of a puppet yet is the Mask of a Smile, great smile.
Yet the lies and evil crawl underneath the texture of the mask.
Believe neither should we all, we lies are just lies of the deeds.
Words, expression of mankind yet a powerful weapon of all.
Mask of a man, is the words of the underneath.

By Jack Ho

Exhausted

I am so tired, really exhausted. I feel like there is no point pushing myself anymore, no point going forward. I am really tired, so fed up, and exhausted. It feels like there is nothing left, nothing, completely empty. Nothing else in me, nothing left. What should I do? I asked God, yet He gave me an answer, an answer to all questions.

He gave me, Evangeline. Here, I am revived again. Energetic, powerful, and great! A whole new journey is set for another day of challenge, I love my life.

Tears of Sunset

The moment when the light ends by the horizon, it is the end of a journey of another day has passed by. An end that fills with orange goldish purple colour of the sunset comes along with a mood that reflects our hearts. Usually, or as often as it is, the mood that we felt is often a little saddening and downfall of something that we seem to miss. Amazingly, it is just another emotion that tells us how vulnerable we are at some point. The breeze is calm on a beautiful sunny day, yet a sunset is slow as we sit watching the dramatic fall into the horizon, which wonder as we would of the other side. It seems endless, no directions, no indication or signs of something lives beyond either yet we know the existence of another world.

To cross a line that seems to be far enough to take a leap, perhaps it is just a visionary of the mind, yet it is a goal that everyone wishes to achieve. The drive to go forward and over the line of the horizon is unspeakable as curiosity lives within us. The intention is the motive that put us through the discovery of beyond the horizon. Yet a step is another spend of difficulties we would face, some may not have the determination to do so as such would often whine and give up as unable to endure the toughness it has, yet shall understand we must that nothing comes as a free gift in the realistically world of ours’. As to hold onto something precious is not just bout treasuring and appreciating what we have indeed, as it is certainly assumable that what is beneficial to us is the very need in our lives. How certain can somebody be when crossing the horizon is a step of a giant leap. Of course, nonetheless he is beyond the human’s capability of supernatural and exceptional mutated being. In the very fact is we have the giant leap if we have the desire to; the desire to achieve, the desire to possess, the desire to score, or the desire to have. Rather than I say to achieve yet it is the very own solution that defines our life, purposes or say shall I. Yet, what is beyond the horizon that is so fascinating?

Humble words of men who have seen and felt why they are words of wisdom spoke from the true hearts. Hearts of desire in certainty where as the motives were the intentions that have driven them to challenge risks of the nature. Suppose I say in a matter of definition that brings what we are and obtain from others. Steal May we describe; where as the equality around the world makes us do not stand alone. Each and every one of us lives with a fantasy that defines the equivalent of humanity which is the equation of our life cycle. Many do not see reasons for there is only as we are often exiled by our surrounding as part of us growing up in the birthplace that does not show what is beyond the horizon. Little or more we would know is when we learn to explore and shuffle our head upon those journeys which many would experience and return with great tales. Tears of the heart become the residue of infection for many others, as inspiration and motivation drive us forward and break beyond the ahead of the horizon. Neither I nor you would know what the other side could be as we are uncertain for what it seems to be, very correctly to justify this manner we would best only suggest and assume as some may open to opinions and suggestions. Share would one do and acceptance not many would, because the egoistic behaviour of mankind has been a parasite or sometimes a golden key. Sharing what one’s have is very wise and kind, acceptance is difficult when acceptance seems to be a down pour of a heavy rain that would create a disaster that have never been predicted before. Learn must, for acceptance has been in the very heart of mankind, not just the heart, but as well as the instinct. Instinct similarly it is to a compass where it points directions and deliver guidelines to the soul that is invisible of course. Question I had for my instinct by a very good old friend and indeed it was his surprise that it was a gifted gift from God. Acceptance is in the hands of our own decision where as neither anyone else can be a replacement of your power. Hence, strong point of my own with the golden compass in the palm of my heart I listened and felt along with it often guided me through the lost of the wilderness and the toughness of the Earth rocky structure. Assuming the sun is only a light that does no harm, and then what would it be? Certainly it is not a sun anymore as the application of its definition does not reflect its very own nature after all.

Often, left we have doubts and irresponsible act of selfishness as the egoistic features of anyone would often be very similar. Yet, share we have as lesson made from errors which felt strongly regretted. Best as it is to listen and accept what many others might have to say because chances like this do not come often as one may think. Does a saviour come often when life is assumable at stake? In this very answer of mine is not as we are to be independent as naturally born we have. The education throughout the life we live have always taught us something or many things as wonderful as they are, in return it is only a wish that gain we shall in the independence of our own. Reliable as we are because some of us may be kind and loving sufficiently to offer needed help yet machine we are not as limitations we have for everyone of us has live of our own. Of course, trying the best of what we can is the best effort one can give as a gift that shows the effort and determination of the heart that endures. Question of sincerity is often being thrown out of the box yet for no one’s sake to notice this when somebody is offering a gift it is certainly sure that it comes along with a heartiest sincerity, unless that very person has an intention of collecting beneficial stamps for its own good. Then at the end of the very day everybody would still want something for themselves, as what one has the desire for.

Will the day of the sun that never set come? As imaginary as it can be that the sunset is deeply part of the life-cycle that tells us what begins will have to come to an end. Fortunately, everyday is indeed a day of newly born gifted days. Lucky for we must feel as neither one of us can deny the existence of something is the solution to all questions or difficulties. As try we shall then as might we would determine them achievement in life, yet that is just a saying forms the thought of many of us. When the sun drowns into the horizon, feels the end of something is certainly has no return to the origin of what has already been seen. Deny must no one shall take as i is only a risk to our own absurdity that defines a fool one may be. But then, the very next moment of minutes that you would sit still by the sunset as you shall use the wise thoughts of the mind you possess as it is the compass of your own treasure map. A breath of the sunset is well worth accepted when it is well brightly shine in front of the very eyes of yours, then again it is the age of no darkness just another day has be gone.

By Jack Ho

Give it a Go

The funny thing about life is many things come and go, yet we do not know for sure what would stay in our life. Many people have spent their life trying to achieve something, and do something for their lives as well. It is just what we do that defines us, sometimes. Honestly speaking, we do so many things in life and the whole point is to earn a living and live a life. There is nothing else more complicated than that because no matter how far the explanation goes yet it will still always go back to the basic.

Everybody does want something, and it can be anything depending on favors. But what we want may not be what we need, because it is only what we need that keeps us alive. Then, still, many people still do not give themselves the opportunity to try something new and experience them. People are often scared by the new things they see, it is their nature I supposed. Many risk takers don’t see that because they have the drive of giving in a try and give themselves a chance to experience it. You won’t learn unless you have tried, and failure is an education which allows you to know even more. This is because when you don’t even try you will never know, by assuming is never enough because it is only an opinion that does not exist in trying. When you’re trying you are actually doing it and hence the experience of it is there for you to feel and comprehend both physically and mentally. When that fulfills the mind, it is something that is worth to learn because it is an education of a lifetime.

Opportunity comes and goes in our lives, yet we do not see them often because we may have grabbed and stayed onto the opportunity we already have as we are afraid of losing what we have. When a desire of an achievement is so much at stake, it is important that you have to make a wise decision in fulfilling your goals. Things need to be balance and not over weighted on one side, because it’s either this one or that one and you can’t have both. Step by step, we are to do things carefully because if we don’t we might even end out falling of from the tree. Of course, if you do fall then do have the guts to get up again with determination and passion, do not give up. It is so crucial for us to know what we need because our desire may misleads us sometimes, for we are human beings and we do not foresee things as it can only be predicted. The power to achieve something is in your hand and not anyone else. You don’t just wait for the opportunity to come and be given to you because it may never happen, then it is always best for you to create your own opportunity and define the impossible. Many successful people in this world have not had the opportunity to be successful, yet it is themselves who created a path and opportunity to achieve their very own goals.

You see, so much of the drive to the achievement one can have is what can actually define humanity. The destiny does not lie in the hands of anyone else but yourself, you designate and coordinate your destination. The radar is only there to guide and not direct your path. So why live it in such a way where life seems to be controlled by something, something beyond logical and sensible theory. Realistically, this is how we do things in life because it is only seeing is believing and there is no denial in that. We have to put ourselves in a shoe where its application is applying to what its purposes are for. Thus, purposes exist in anything that we see these days yet it depends on our intelligence to define that purpose of something.

There is nothing wrong in giving a try to something new after all, because we serve a purpose to live and learn what it is in our lives. Curiosity, everyone is born with this nature because that how we have learned to live. Do not let your fear overtake you because your fear may even take your dreams and goals away. Giving it a try, taste it, and experience because if you achieve it then you can talk about it for the rest of your life and people can’t you did not achieve it. Holding yourself in a stagnant situation is not a way to have improvement, where it is a fast flowing river that carries improvement. There is no point staying in one position where you think it is already enough, because you still have the ability to achieve even more. It is not just about appreciating what you have because what you appreciate is what can give you even a better life. So start exploring if you have the opportunity, but if you don’t then start finding your own because way because the golden key is still out there, somewhere.

By Jack Ho

Stalkers are Back

Here is the weird thing, the stalkers are back again and I'm a little terrified by it. They kept miscalling my phone a night ago and the very next day again, and then I received SMS from an unknown number confessing to me. I was quite confused though as I do not know what the text was all about, as it sounded like as if I'm her boyfriend or something yet I do not know that person at all.

I kept telling her that she must have looked for the wrong person, though I'm Jack, but perhaps it was other Jack she was looking for. When I asked her to identify herself, she just wouldn't do it and continued with her confession. It felt really freaky somehow, and knowing that they were people taking you as a partner without knowing who they are.

So then, I ignored the whole thing and not bothering it anymore. But I just keep an eye out where ever I go because they might just as well follow me if I didn't notice. I'm lucky that I do not go out that often unless I'm out on a date with Evil D'Angel. Then, I also changed my status in Friendster from Single to Married so in a hope that these stalkers would give up.

People are crazy, at some point!

Ugly is a Beauty

I came across this thought long time ago and never really got a chance to put them up in words, so after last night's incident of fallen out with a good friend who I suppose have much hatred for me now. Thus, that was an inspiration and drive for me to write this article. Ugly, it has been seen a terrifying physical outlook of a person that does not seem to be attractive at all. The outlook often is being judged in a matter of how awful looks can be, and haunting at some point. Of course, many people or most people would often judge someone by their looks as that is the first indication of what they are, and not who they are. So in terms of this matter, people always being very particular about whom their friends are and that somehow result the neglectful behaviour. Sadly, people are often being treated in a way that causes misunderstanding and very little respect precisely.

As we all know, people can be fat or thin, depending on their physical outlook. Yet, most people are often distracted to those who are thin, because they look great as most people would say. Now, it doesn’t mean somebody has the beauty that has been re-defined as a perfection of all is truly beautiful because no one is every perfect. Everybody comes with certain things in life, during the moment we were born, and it can be anything or just about anything. Yes, guys love them beautiful girls indeed as there is not denial in this matter. But yet, nobody would admire a person with an awkward personality. She can be hot, but her attitude is bad, so how should we define this? Not perfect! It doesn’t mean that beautiful people are great because they have their own weakness as well as other people. Thus, no one is ever perfect in this world. Beautiful people have their own world at some point when they start to differentiate themselves from others, which is to be defined as “narcissist” because they think they are the greatest where as they are not in fact. This why people are lack of moral and ethical values these days in order to treat others with respect and integrity. The world has changed so much due to globalization as a matter of fact it is Mankind who made the changes after all. For no one to blame on this matter because it has been in the decision of our very own hand, because that is how we do in order to improve ourselves. Sadly, many people have been ignored and mistreated at some point just because of their outlook.

Fat people, we know them big, ugly and round. Now, what is wrong with people looking fat? What is so guilty about being fat? Just because other people keep laughing doesn’t mean those who laugh are the greatest. Fat is just a definition of the amount of fat that is within the human body. Everybody’s got fat in them, yet we can’t live without fats because that is the source of energy for us to do out daily work or activity. Skinny people, they have little fats of course that is why they are weak and look terribly ill. I don’t see girls who are skinny and thin consider being pretty because the physical conditions they have made them look like as if they are infected with diseases or malnutrition. In fact, they look worse than fat people because fat people look healthier. Even fat people may seem to have unhealthy lifestyle, but starving yourself everyday by the obsession of losing weight is even worse because you are damaging your own body systems. That is why skinny girls do not have the ordinary shape of the right breasts, no butts, and of course filled with bones. In fact, FAT PEOPLE aren’t that bad after all because they are happy people. It is the moment when they eat they feel happy, so does everyone because eating the tasty foods we want makes us happy. People just can’t simply be judge by the appearances they have, because appearances are just cover of deceptions and the reality is that what is more truthful is the beauty within the heart.

It is not wrong to be fat as what matter most is the personality. A girl can be very sexy and beautiful, but she is nothing when she has a bad and awful attitude that would be seemed disgusted by many somehow. Thus, it is the personality that counts and not just the look!

By Jack Ho

She is Back

I was out on a ride with the 3 brothers on Monday morning, as part of the training. So during the ride, Firdaus was telling me Norno is already backed for holiday. Somehow I was quite happy to hear it as I have not seen her for quite a while, long while. So after the ride, we decided to have lunch in Palma Cafe as I wanted to drop by to see Norno.

I used to go to Palma every single day when I was still attached to Petra, I love the foods there. So it's been a long time since I last had a meal in Palma before Chinese New Year with Eja, and then Wadi. Then, it was a lucky day to have lunch in Palma again on Monday. At first I was a little nervous because I have not seen Norno for about a year, so when I met her I just when a little silent. Dean was giving me a good laugh and he gave me his seat as well because everyone in Palma always knows where I sit.

I thought Norno was gonna ignore me and wouldn't even bother to greet me, but she did and I was surprise somehow. Well, last year there was a big rumor about us having affair and that ruined our friendship, since then we never spoke a word. So now I understand that the rumors were purposely created by my ex-girlfriend for some reasons which I did not know that broke down the relationship. Back then, Norno was really unhappy to hear such gossips going around so our friendship was torn apart. But now, it is clear that our friendship is still alright and not bothered by the past. Yes, we do know people from the past have tried something weird to ruin people's life yet it will never worked on true friendship where as they stay.

So I had a good lunch in Palma, ate my favorite foods and had a good chat with everyone. But most of all, I was really happy to see Norno again and knowing that she is still a friend.

Race

Two more weeks to come it will be the Sarawak Triathlon 2008. It's another tough race and the heat is on, hotter than before. A lot of competitive furious pace is definitely expected, as everybody is just getting better and better.

I think I'm ready, yet I'm not sure if I'm ready. Every sweat under the sun, every breath I struggle to take, have taken the whole of me and set me towards something I do not and unable to foresee. But yet, it can only be felt; the pain, the anger, the struggle, the furious, and most of all the sound of the crowd. I can hear people clapping and cheering, I can feel my opponents fighting hard. What is there to come? I do not know, yet I do not even know if I'm ready. Listen to the voice within shall I, yet hearing what is around is a focus.

Each step I've taken in this journey towards the finish line, it is unforgettable. So far I have come, along with many others, the race is a race. It is the definition of all, and whatever it takes. It is either do or die, or live with it.

Here I am, my heart is pumping and adrenaline is rushing through ME!

Come on, let's race!!