Monday, April 21, 2008

How "special" is your "somebody"?

Kath called me up on Sunday night and had a long chat with me. Then we came to a topic regarding relationship, and about individuals in a relationship. So the big question was; how special is your somebody? What does it actually mean to you?

Kath is a psychologist, so she actually gave me some questions that were very impressive as I had to answer it out from my heart. At some point, I've always been very careful when a psychologist ask questions because they'll know when you’re lying.

When Kath gave me the question, how special? I actually felt blank as I couldn't answer instantly, yet it took me a few seconds later to come with the answer. As so, I still felt very uncertain with my answer. So how special is that person? Then, the only think I could think of and felt from my heart was simply just somebody I could share my life with for the rest of my life. But that was the somebody I wanna be happy with, and still back to the question about how special should she be? Well, as long as she's the person in my heart then she will always remain special because my heart has only a room for one. Thus, I kept questioning myself about what type of girls would actually mean special to me? Is it the type that I feel happy with? Or the type that suits my desire? Or the type that I demand for? So it is indeed in a matter of questions of happiness, desire and demand.

Some people's special person is just a fantasy, some is just a passer by, or some even is just nothing. Is that someone special really worth a dime? And worth sacrificing and dying for? Is that how special someone should be? Or that someone special should just be somebody we can tag along with?

After a long thought, then I started to look back into my past 2 relationships, which were failures. My first girlfriend was back in 2004 and it only lasted for a year and a half. Why did I like her? Or why did I choose her? Or even fell in love her? Back then, she was my someone special is because of...I couldn't answer because I couldn't think of anything special about her and the relationship was a disaster obviously. So then I turn my thought to my second girlfriend, which our relationship just ended 11 months ago. So why did I fall in love for her? And why was she my special one? This, I can give a long answer, girl was my perfect someone. It's the "chemistry" that we felt when we first met. I couldn't explain the feelings that I felt for her because the moment I saw her I had this bond quickly attached to her like a virus. She was somebody that I clicked with right away, and every single moment of our lives together we felt happy. Of course, there were down times but yet it all resolved in a proper and positive manner. That relationship has really shown me on how special that someone can be; unique and godly in its own way. It wasn't just happiness that we both shared throughout our lives together in the relationship, but it was the joy and blessings that we both had. And we constantly gave each other supports and caring for one another, and then at times we spoke of our thoughts to let each other understand more. Thus, that relationship was really a learning process for me to know how special that someone should be. But of course, my relationship failed and most people know why.

So at the in end of my thought, I started to realize someone special doesn't have to be perfect or 100% beautiful. It is the heart that matters most actually. Many people have different strokes in defining their own special one, but yet in the final conclusion it would still be the heart that matters. It is the chemistry, the bond, the feelings, and the passion for each other. It is something that you can't see or touch, yet it can only be felt through the hearts. Maybe some people might say, "My special someone is Cinderella" or even "my special someone is Tom Cruise", but yet it is still up to an individual on how their special someone is in his or her own way.

But deep in mine, that someone special is...Unique!

By Jack Ho

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