Thursday, March 19, 2009

Just someone cheating?

We often hear people would say certain awful things during break ups, but most commonly known to many is the cheating. I wouldn’t define it as cheating clearly in this article, but to many people I have known would usually come forth to say he or she has been cheated.

Yes, firstly I would say cheating is disgraceful. Of course, it is always bad to cheat and tell lies in life. But then, how could you simply define cheating? Cheating as in? In what way would you simplify cheating rationally and logically? You see, the funny thing is communication is often complicated in relationships. As the fact is that certain matters would become sensitive in relationship and hence does not tolerate wider communicative barrier, it will all be restricted due to individual’s consideration, and perhaps manipulation to be considered too.

Now, in my passed experiences I was being called a liar in relationship because I was not telling or constantly updating my girlfriend about everything I do. Here is the catch, I was not telling because I didn’t think it was a need to as I was in no boot camp to report myself to any captain or colonel. Then of course, since I was already in a relationship then why not trust me. It was clear enough that my routine was already in brief and nearly where ever I went she knows where to find me, most likely there was a GPS tracking system beacon in me. You see, the reality is I wasn’t married or attached to her in full commitment. I’m still single till today, so that doesn’t mean when a person is in a relationship he or she must be in controlled in order to keep that trust in a strong bond. Of course, when I thought of this matter from my past I see it as a very immature relationship. At first I didn’t feel bother, but as the journey went on I felt it has become a burden and pressure instead. But I was really lucky that it is all over.

So my point is, not telling doesn’t mean cheating at all because everyone deserves to have their own privacy and secrets. Trust of course on the other hand is one of the most important features in relationship or as well as just about anything in human relation. Many people I came across would often define couple must always remain open sharing to each other unconditionally. But when I disagree with this in a way where I see every one of us, I would like mention this again, deserves a little privacy at least in our very own space. People deserve to be respected, treated nicely, and faithful. By respecting them, you give them stronger dignity. By treating them nicely, you get respect and kindness in return. By having faith in them, you will cherish more of your life together in happiness and joy.

Not all things work in just a way or one direction as we may think they do, but it all comes to the thinking and consideration that counts. Your boyfriend is out without telling you doesn’t he’s off to check on other girls. Your girlfriend is not talking to you tonight doesn’t mean she’s talking to some other guys. People need their own space and time to breathe and regenerate their own lives. Humans are no pet to anyone, though we are capable of killing our own species.

But still, we have emotions and bleed the same color of blood. Selfishness is always the major issue in all relationship, as they recreate the barrier to exile their own world to the real world. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may be the one you love, but loving is not about imprisonment somebody just because you think he or she belongs to you. Look, nobody belongs to anybody because it is priceless. He or she is with you is because of what love has brought both of you together, and not because you spent a 100 dollars on him or her and becomes yours forever. So let it free, everybody deserves freedom of their own right to do what they wish to. He wants to get a drink in the bar, let him be because he will be happy. She wants to hang out with her girls, let her be because she will feel more like a girl…trust, girls do feel the changes in them when they are too stuck with a guy for too long and that’s why they would become more aggressive and daring in arguments or conversations. You must allow that freedom in your life, as it is the essential key for yourself to see the world in a bigger picture too.

Even though you may wanna be the controller of everything, but it would be even worse for yourself rather than the person you control. Here is why; you become obsess, you become limited through your own personality, you become a narcissist, your ego grows even stronger, all the negativity starts to eat you alive, and sooner or later your life will be seen as nightmares by others. Or in other words, I should say you will most likely to be seen as a psychopath! Why does this happen? This is because it is your own choice that you made to develop that control or monitor. It is unhealthy for relationships to go that way, as many have ended in really awful manner.

So why not be more positive? Not telling is not a bad thing after all, it would be least of a worry sometimes. Even if you think you wanna share something, find the right time because you would wanna consider his or her life too. Cheating doesn’t come that cheap anyway, it is not something that everybody can do it takes large amount of effort too. Then of course, trust comes along in confidence too. People may feel insecure sometimes because they feel insecure about themselves and that is why they would start feeling insecure about the others, again that’s an egoistic thinking or mindset. So that is why it is important to have freedom to regain your own inspiration, motivation and concentration in your life. There is nothing guilty in opening yourself up to the world and breathe in fresh air. Don’t be scared by the fact that the world would be mean and harmful to you, because if you don’t try you will never know what’s good or bad.

So take some time and reconsider what is in your situation, take a break or a walk to feel what surrounds you. See the wonders in colours for they would colour your life too. Feel the rhythm of happiness for they bounce up and down in many ways. See yourself in 5 years time and save the answers to yourself, then recap of your current life and compare them. Perhaps you might even find what you need to restructure your current relationship to a better step. Trust your love one, he or she is with you for that very reason is the heart that matters. Don’t buy words too much as actions speak louder; give it a time and space, because at the end of the very you will discover more to words than what you think may be cheating…be smart ey!

by Jacques Yvez

1 comment:

bicyclecrazy said...

omg...it's like you're reading my brain or something..