Life these days are just feeling more and more different after all, as time goes by. Each day, I do feel boredom grows within me and all by myself. Even though it has been quite boring or meaningless yet I am still doing what I want and what I like in my life. It is what I like to do that keeps me going and giving me a wonderful life, but in a way when I am not doing them I really feel bored because I got nothing else to do. I have done many things just to keep myself company from time to time and yet there still seems to be a missing piece of the puzzle, and I know very well of that missing puzzle.
This single piece of puzzle is still difficult to find, somehow, as it is based on the human nature which is a partner. I do admit that it is quite boring single but also great, as everything’s got its good and bad. I do date a lot lately, it’s been great meeting new girls and knowing them as well. But perhaps it is because I have been choosy as being single for so long therefore I am unable to accept a new relationship again. I do like someone, a big crush on her some more, she is Evangeline. I did honestly tell her about how I feel but yet I guess she took it as a joke because, perhaps, I joke too much so it didn’t sound serious at all. Evangeline is a nice, very adorable and it feels very natural whenever she is around. But perhaps, she is not ready to have a relationship and thus I’m still being left out. I guess it is alright because everything takes time, as nothing can be forced to its limitation without giving time for it. I do hope that she can remain good friends with me though, I understand that she is quite busy with her work sometimes but I do feel kinda bad that she doesn’t reply my messages or return my calls. It feels like she’s ignoring me or something, but perhaps it is just me thinking too much. Then, I also met a girl who is really gorgeous but yet she can’t be with me because she is still with her boyfriend. Yet again, I supposed as many people has that she needs time to break up with her boyfriend so I’m not complaining or being optimistic about her at all. After all, I’m just letting love find its way till the very right day comes then perhaps that is when I would finally find a love.
I love my training, as I’m growing much stronger than before. I work hard on it just to get myself better because since the last race I discovered my weakness and I’m working hard to improve them. Everybody needs to improve themselves in order to progress well and step ahead into the future. So I’m doing what I can and the best I can to reach a high level of myself. While I enjoy my training, I also feel difficult and suffering sometimes because some training can just get really tough and tiring. But I do not mind because that is how hard work should be and without pain there is no gain. So I do keep telling myself that it would be okay to suffer now as reward will come later, and it is worth achieving my dream as this has been something I live to experience and treasure it.
I also find it harder to trust people around me these days; even my instinct has been telling me that I should be by myself and not mixing around too much. I should also just being myself and focus on my goals where as I shouldn’t bother what is around me, especially friends around me. I do hang out with my friends a lot lately as to get rid of my boredom, but then again it is these people who create problem and hence I do not trust them. It can be anybody around me that I am mentioning here, because it has been a feeling that I get people are full of deceptions. Most of them are liars, backstabbers, hypocrites, racists and narcissists. I feel bad for them because people like them couldn’t seem to get enough out of their own life and yet it is filled with jealousy. The first thing that I realized was that they were people who wanted to compete with me. I don’t mind having competitions or competitive friends, but not becoming enemies and backstab me the whole time. Even my friends in other places who are professional triathletes as well do not backstab me yet we compete with great competitiveness and remain friendly all the time, unlike these people around me here as they do not possess the sportsmanship that an athlete shall have. Even though a beginner would pay respect to anyone, and not to mention these people around me are not even elite or any professional at all so that is why they do not have the sportsmanship. So they have not just treated me as enemies but they have also become backstabbers, this is the part where I do not understand at all. First stop, you considered that I am your enemy which I’m fine with it because it is your thought. But yet, you backstab me just because you think you are better than me where as during each training you can’t even surpass my minimum and lowest level of fitness. Then again, you guys are out there talking about how lousy I am when you know you can’t and unable to compete with me, it sounds a little a pathetic though. Then again, you guys are also often out there telling people how great you guys are because of you have been there and here, for a joy ride and not competitions. How disrespectful is that? I mean you should look at yourself first before you can put your judgments on someone else, not mention you can’t even swim at all. I don’t mind if you wanna start competing with me, because I would feel glad there is a little competition and you wish to improve yourself. But then, it is so disgusting when you start telling people that I’m no good and you can defeat me just because you think you are already on the top on the world.
For God’s sake here is a little detail about if those people out there do not know me well; I’ve been swimming since I was 7, been cycling since I was 15, and been running since I was 14, and been doing triathlon since I was 16, and also been doing endurance sports since I was 18. I am 24 now and it has been 3 years of professional careers in triathlon, so you can start using calculators to do your maths for your own understanding because most of you have just began recent years and yet you make yourself sound like professionals who have not even competed overseas ONCE!
It is okay that you people look down on me just because you think you are better than me, I don’t mind as I have always known these people are a bunch of narcissists. It is terrible in some way because I treated them all as good friends and people I have always respect and look up to, but for now it is no more because of your pathetic attitude. You disrespect me and you do not deserve to be my friends as I wish not to have people who are disgusting and pathetic in my life, as you guys would only make me look like a clown.
Of course, I would be glad enough to compete with you all for a showdown to know who is the best, which I think these guys will not have the guts to do so because they can only talk. It doesn’t matter what bikes you guys have even if you have the lightest and most expensive ones, because if your legs are not fit and strong enough then you are still a junk. The bikes don’t make you fast as it is only you who can make it fast! So if you start thinking you can defeat me, perhaps you should start proving it and not just saying it, and I will show no mercy anymore.
By Jack Ho
