Ever since the crash on Thursday night there have been many set backs somehow, as the shock that I had was just too much after as it made me all crank up. I was out with Ming Ming on Friday night, she looked piss somehow and I felt bad about it because I was the one who wished to see her. Then, I also realised I couldn't speak properly because I was still shaken by the accident on the night before, that feeling is just horrible as it is still in me today. I've been trying to get over it though, but it is tough and I guess it will take quite some time. My bike is currently in the workshop, it's hospitalised, and I do feel a little reluctant to get back onto the bike as the crash just comes back into my mind the whole time. Yet, I will still get back on no matter as competitions are coming really soon and I must overcome this phobia. I've been having sleepless nights though because each time I closed my eyes, I could see crash scene, the backflash just keep hitting me all the time so that is why it has been really hard for me to sleep. Besides, every now and then it is still difficult for me to move around because of the wounds as it is just painful. Oh God, I just I can get over this nightmare as soon as possible.
The weekend was just bad after all, due to my injury so I couldn't do much. I was just at home most of the time watching tv, and writing articles. Even when I wanna write, I just couldn't find all the inspirations in me because the crash is truly a nightmare that haunts me all the time. So it's been tough and hard going through all these alone, though I sound alright to everybody as I do not wish to let everyone to worry so much yet I just keep it to myself that pain and struggle that I have to endure. At some point, I just wish I wouldn't have to think of anything else other than just a blank memory. And nothing tends to make me smile lately, whatever smile everyone has seen from me has been faked after all. I've been trying hard to live it up and go back to the normal me, but I just hardly smile like I used to. Hopefully, someday when this nightmare is over I can smile at the world again.
There a BBQ dinner yesterday with the MMBC in Esplanade. It was a wonderful evening, calm breeze and beautiful sunshine. I was so tempted to jump into the water for a swim, but I couldn't because of my wounds so I felt quite sad at some point. So I rode around Esplanade using Eugene's bike, I love his bike because it is really one hardcore machine. So I was jumping around and flying as I like just to feel that adrenaline again, it was really fun. But as I got nastier and nastier, I was being careless somehow and I made a mistake again, so I fell off from the bike while attempting a drop. Luckily I fell on the sand, but I had a heard hit on my left thigh and the swollen got even bigger. I was covered in sand, and had mouthful of them, but it was fun after all. Ms.Dee didn’t turn out for the BBQ, so many guys were upset except me. She went to Piano Grand Finale instead, then some of the guys were quite disappointed. Ming Ming has been telling me how perfect this girl is for me, but I just get irritated the whole time when she mentioned about it. The truth is I’m not really interested in this girl after all, and God knows why. But I know Ming Ming was just joking the whole time, yet because of all the suffering I have been going through lately has just crank me up a little. I’m sorry Evangeline, as I didn’t have the intention of being mean to you last night.
But it was a laugh to me when she mentioned Ms.Dee’s got everything that a man desire for, somehow that reminds me of the desires we seek rather than the needs we seek. But the thing, what does a girl have for a man to desire? Well, to answer this question it would come in many forms of answers. Thus, I’m gonna go straight forward and very direct about this because realistically man only desire one thing, Sex for pleasure it is. No matter how beautiful or gorgeous looking a girl is, or even how perfect she can be in the heart, yet it is always lust that is being desired because the temptations of pleasure from the exotic curvy sexy figure (Okay, some girls got really bad ass) is just too irresistible for a man, men drool over this as it is in their fantasy. Yet, it is up to the man on how he catches it! But it is always wise to be honest to the girl, because if you don’t you ain’t gonna get what you want!
As I was just looking through the latest result of the first race of this season in Triathlon, I was just terrified somehow because I saw my Nemesis! He is back, and it is just gonna get tougher. We raced last year in Singapore, and I would never forget the how it was. But no matter how tough it gets, either he’s my kryptonite or nemesis or apocalypse, with the heart of Hercules I will still roam the field with the sound of a thundering Spartans! Perhaps this is the Part 2 of my conspiracy after all, yet it is just gonna get more fun. Race is coming really soon, and I can’t afford to injure myself anymore. Gotta stay good and no naughty naughty!
The weekend was just bad after all, due to my injury so I couldn't do much. I was just at home most of the time watching tv, and writing articles. Even when I wanna write, I just couldn't find all the inspirations in me because the crash is truly a nightmare that haunts me all the time. So it's been tough and hard going through all these alone, though I sound alright to everybody as I do not wish to let everyone to worry so much yet I just keep it to myself that pain and struggle that I have to endure. At some point, I just wish I wouldn't have to think of anything else other than just a blank memory. And nothing tends to make me smile lately, whatever smile everyone has seen from me has been faked after all. I've been trying hard to live it up and go back to the normal me, but I just hardly smile like I used to. Hopefully, someday when this nightmare is over I can smile at the world again.
There a BBQ dinner yesterday with the MMBC in Esplanade. It was a wonderful evening, calm breeze and beautiful sunshine. I was so tempted to jump into the water for a swim, but I couldn't because of my wounds so I felt quite sad at some point. So I rode around Esplanade using Eugene's bike, I love his bike because it is really one hardcore machine. So I was jumping around and flying as I like just to feel that adrenaline again, it was really fun. But as I got nastier and nastier, I was being careless somehow and I made a mistake again, so I fell off from the bike while attempting a drop. Luckily I fell on the sand, but I had a heard hit on my left thigh and the swollen got even bigger. I was covered in sand, and had mouthful of them, but it was fun after all. Ms.Dee didn’t turn out for the BBQ, so many guys were upset except me. She went to Piano Grand Finale instead, then some of the guys were quite disappointed. Ming Ming has been telling me how perfect this girl is for me, but I just get irritated the whole time when she mentioned about it. The truth is I’m not really interested in this girl after all, and God knows why. But I know Ming Ming was just joking the whole time, yet because of all the suffering I have been going through lately has just crank me up a little. I’m sorry Evangeline, as I didn’t have the intention of being mean to you last night.
But it was a laugh to me when she mentioned Ms.Dee’s got everything that a man desire for, somehow that reminds me of the desires we seek rather than the needs we seek. But the thing, what does a girl have for a man to desire? Well, to answer this question it would come in many forms of answers. Thus, I’m gonna go straight forward and very direct about this because realistically man only desire one thing, Sex for pleasure it is. No matter how beautiful or gorgeous looking a girl is, or even how perfect she can be in the heart, yet it is always lust that is being desired because the temptations of pleasure from the exotic curvy sexy figure (Okay, some girls got really bad ass) is just too irresistible for a man, men drool over this as it is in their fantasy. Yet, it is up to the man on how he catches it! But it is always wise to be honest to the girl, because if you don’t you ain’t gonna get what you want!
As I was just looking through the latest result of the first race of this season in Triathlon, I was just terrified somehow because I saw my Nemesis! He is back, and it is just gonna get tougher. We raced last year in Singapore, and I would never forget the how it was. But no matter how tough it gets, either he’s my kryptonite or nemesis or apocalypse, with the heart of Hercules I will still roam the field with the sound of a thundering Spartans! Perhaps this is the Part 2 of my conspiracy after all, yet it is just gonna get more fun. Race is coming really soon, and I can’t afford to injure myself anymore. Gotta stay good and no naughty naughty!
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