Keepin' Faith

It is time like this, a time on no man's land, where things do get tough...really tough! I gotta swing by myself right now, or perhaps all the while it has always been. Trouble comes and go in life, and all that we wish for is a peaceful where we could sit back and chill. Yet that ain't gonna last forever, because there's always gonna be twist and turn of faith.

And so, 2 years later my life got twisted again. Looking back for it all in the past 2 years, it was good and for real no doubt everything seem so fine. But then, 2 years ago was all the struggle I put through to have a better life. But then 2 years later, it all falls down again, when I was and where I was.

Geezz, it does feel tough and confuse. I'm tryin' to pull myself together and thinkin' right to get through all this again. I'm feeling lost at some point, like there is no directions comin' right up or anywhere to be seen. So here I am, writing whatever I have left to say from my heart.

Life does get really tough at times, especially when you have to make a decision for the best of both world; family and yourself. It's a tough split too, because it ain't gon' seem to get away. And, I just do not what to do. Yeah, people would say go with the flow and follow your heart...that works pretty well when you get hands on life easily when it's all provided.

Some might even say it's how you choose life to be or how you want it to be, but things get too perfect it always pushes you to the end of the edge where you got no more choices. That's exactly how I feel, standing on the edge waiting to fall or fly. Everybody wants to fly, because life is good when you're flying and soaring freely. Yet honestly, my heart says I should fall...take that fall and be a new man, learn from the pain and struggle through the worst because life is always easy when it was hard.

So I'm still asking myself, thinking to myself of everything that could be...I find no answers yet, because they are all lost. You know, this life that I know many people around would start telling you to make a fortune out of your life because that's how the world role. And, freedom comes with it when you got all the bucks to stack you up. But geezz...that could be so true sometimes when you're too reliable on it, because money just ain't everything. But for the fact is that's what you need to role and get a bread for a day to see another day, everybody is selfish about it because nobody gon' stand by you. So I'm taking that fall so hard that it leaves a mark on me and I'm gonna climb back on no matter how high the mountain gets.

I have walked through a journey in this life with many wonders, and they are perfect memories; so beautiful, so wonderful because they are what had made me who I am today. Yet, I guess I just gotta let go of it. It doesn't matter of what I have done and achieved; I appreciate them all, grateful about it, but things just gotta come to a stop because it is time to go. Nothing stays forever, because everything that has a beginning has an ending...and that ending is a start of something new, a rebirth.

I'm not too sure if I am gonna make the right decision because I'm still fighting hard to get through the fire, nobody wants to be burn alive as there is just so much pain and torture. But hey remember that scene in Harry Potter where the Phoenix was burn to ashes and rebirth into a whole new phoenix again? Now that's how life gets in between, there is this old one gives new one a better life and the new one just gonna leave for the old one to have a better one.

But it's all for real, it comes to a stand point in life when things just stood still and won't move; I just realized time has just stopped while I am writing this, and nothing seems to move.

So here I am taking a minute and listen to everything around me...

All that I hear is the whisper of the world, the world we live in; where we are born, and where we will die. Life takes its' hand on me, but I just gotta put right through. I love the old days, so much to miss; all the fun, the good times, ex-girlfriends, birthday parties, everything that made me who I am today...but all that gotta go. Perhaps, it is really time to take a new turn and remember the name.

Right now, I am right on the edge looking into the sky...wondering, wondering, wondering.

I do hear God who speaks to me for guidance, I appreciate it because all He has given is a blessed of love and peace.

Yet, I am still on that very edge thinking to myself...will I fly or fall?

That edge, that very edge that determines your fate. The reality just put your mask right on the ice, frozen with all the stingy pain of a million needles in the skin. Here you are wishing you have been dead an unborn to face all the cruelty given, because you feel forsaken.

Sigh, that's the only facial expression I have and nothing beats that. When I put on all the masks I have, I tend to fool everybody around me because no one the suffering beneath a gentle smile.

Life is tough now I admit, and I do wonder what to do. But all I know is with a little faith there comes hope, and with a little there comes life because everything will fall right back on place again once more.

It's funny how life is sometimes, just like a relationship, as it is like a equilibrium where you gotta keep an eye on it and make sure it balances. If not, everything's gonna fall right outta place.

I just hope I can make it through again this time, because I know I will. Life comes in challenges an obstacles, and part of me is loving it to get myself on test. Am I ready for it? Yeah, I am born ready and nothing is impossible.