Thursday, May 24, 2007

Rumours

Finally, a rumour has hit me badly this time and it's really bad. I finally got to know what was wondering in Zaza's mind, it was unbelievable!

I will update this once the problem has been solved.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I'm Single..

I guess I am single now, for real. Guess I gotta go through another pain and get over it. It's gonna take me time, I don't know how long it's gonna take but I guess I can make it.

I'm JAck, a triathlete, a man with no fear but a fearless heart. Life is interesting for me, so gotta live strong. It's filled with wonderful things in my life and I can't afford to lose it. I love who I am, I love my life, and I love what I do.

Life goes on in ME, I may find peace again some day. Just swim, cycle, and run..feel the water, the wind, and the Earth, I will be there and I'm gonna be there..

=)

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Days of My Breathe

My weekend wasn't that bad after all, it's a little boring when I was not doing my training. On Saturday was a rest day, no training, so it was really bored staying at home and I decided to go down to the pool at 3p.m for a free-diving training. The pool had to close at 4p.m that day due to the Miri City's birthday celebration. My dive was good, felt better than before. But I only felt like I need new long fins rather than the one I use now, and more training on my apnea of course. Well, it takes time to do it.

The Miri City's celebration was big, City Fan was crowded with people. Syaza and I went around 7:30p.m, and my intention was only to see the brass band's perform. Both Chung Hua and St.Joseph's bands were there, so as other schools, but those 2 schools were the big hit. And I must say St'Joseph was the best!

Sunday was a blessed, it was a God given Sunday. The weather was very nice, beautiful sunshine and nice breeze. I woke up around 6 to start my training, it was a bike and run. I had a great training that morning, tired though but I enjoyed it. In the afternoon at 3p.m, I went down to the track for another session of training. It was pretty hot in the afternoon because of clear blue sky, and the wind picked up by then. Lots of footballers were at the stadium because they've got a football match, so that wasn't so boring at all as I could watch it while training alone. Overall, Sunday was a God given beautiful day.

Yesterday was kinda funny because I was supposed to go training in the afternoon, a usual. I decided to take the bike down to Nick's shop for awhile just to tighthen my rear wheels, but then Nick told me my wheels are alright so nothing to worry. But the Profile Design T2+Cobra Tri-Bar caught my eyes, it has been there for quite awhile because nobody buys it and nobody would wanna use it, I've told myself to get it someday but not knowing when. So without any hesitation, I bought it! I removed my old one instantly and fixed the new one in, it was great! I really like the new tri-bar, the position is superbly aerodynamic, and I feel so much more comfortable and relax on the upper body. Thus, that allows me to focus more on the legs.

This morning's run was great, felt woooossshhh!! But yet not tired at all, 10km at 38mins. It only felt like a moderate run, guess I've improved but still gotta push myself further......

Friday, May 18, 2007

The way I feel..

Everything seems to be different these days, especially my relationship. I've been asking myself if I'm already ready to be in a relationship or should I have more time for myself and get a stable life. There is just too much confusion in my head.

I thought my current relationship would be stable, but yet there are many obstacles. I wish to give up sometimes as I don't wish to bother about all of it. I've given my 100% commitment to my partner, unlike last time I had affairs, but not anymore this time as I'm serious about my relationship. Eventhough there are other girls to choose, but I still decide to stick with the one I adore. But it's because of my friendliness, I got her confused and lose her trust on me. Is it my fault? Is it because of my attitude? Or it's just me being flirty or cheeky?

I'm a friendly guy, and a very open minded person. I talk alot, as I enjoy conversation, I love making jokes because it is fun to laugh and cheer people, and I enjoy meeting new people or friends. It's not that I flirt around or trying to court other girls, but it's just meeting friends and having new people in life. I don't feel controled, but what I feel most is curiousity because I just don't understand why meeting new friends would be a thought of flirting. Is this what you call obsession? Or just because I'm her possession?

Does people change in a relationship? This is a question where I always think and try to observe people around me. Many people do change when they're in a relationship, I mean from a stage of being single to attach but this is a common change for many when they take a first step into relationship. But the changes during a relationship is the trigger to many problems. There can be many types of changes in a relationship, but I guess mine has changed from sweet to bittersweet!

I love my girlfriend alot, I'm neither bored nor fed up of her. I really enjoy having her in my life, and she takes my blues away. But there are some changes I feel in her which I don't really know. Last time our conversations were very interesting, maybe that is because we have just met each other not for long so finding and trying understand each other were lots of conversations. But as time passes by, we started to get to know each other and better, we shared tons of our lives together. So till these days, I do feel empty in a conversation (not knowing what to talk about). Perhaps Ivy was right, I do need to take her out of Miri and go travel so then I can develop my relationship to a better stage again. Miri is boring for sure, nothing much to do here, just a small town. Eventhough she spends lots of time with me, but I guess we really need to get some advetures.

I really hope my relationship will last long as I don't wish to go through another war. And it is not easy to find somebody you can love and get along with, the search is hard but it is tougher when you're trying to get along. I'm lucky to have Syaza, I feel glad and blessed. But perhaps because of the quarrels we had certain times, they did make me fed up but it let me learn and understand more about relationship. For the love that I always have, it will not fade no matter how strong the storm is.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

It ain't Easy!

It's been over a month since I last posted a blog in Friendster, but now I've just decided to come to blogspot, anyway I'll still update my previous blog.

I am still the same, always busy with my training as more vital competitions are coming soon, so everyday is eaither I run, swim, or cycle. Training has been good though, some improvement. But last week I skipped 3 days of training because I had to go offshore to audit assets of the company's barge. But I got to train in the barge though because they've got a gym room, impressive! So I only got to do a little workout as I had a real bad sea sick!!! It was a 5 hours boat ride from Miri to F-6 Platform, and the journey got bumpy half-way through as the weather started to change. The boat bounced up to 3-feet, though it was nothing for experienced people, but for me as a first timer it was really bad, not to mention I puked for times with an empty stomach. So from then on, I wouldn't wanna go onto a boat again as I prefer going out by chopper! Life in the offshore is extremely boring; work, eat and sleep! The money is good for sure, and certain times it's very relaxing out there, but still it's really boring. I couldn't wait to get offboard as soon as I finished my work, so finally I came back last Thursday. And later that I was sick for a few days with cough, flu and fever. I still did my training but it was easier ones just to keep my fitness!

I miss Zaza like crazy while I was offshore, so when I got back it was so nice that we hung out alot! We had a very nice weekend, we went to watch movie on Sunday afternoon, 28 Weeks Later. It was horrifying and yet I enjoyed it, but Zaza got freaked out a little! 28 Weeks Later is just another episode of 28 Days Later, quite similar anyway. Pirates Of Carribean 3 is coming soon, I can't wait to watch it.

Today is really a bad day for me, my mood is just way upside down. Plus, I didn't have a good sleep last night and I've been feeling so dizzy, so I'm demanding for a good long sleep. Then, Zaza and I ended quarrel just now and I was so freaking piss off beacuse I can no longer be patient anymore. I just can't stand here sacarsm sometimes, it gets into my nerver really bad. So I was being quite a mean guy, though that is not what I am. But it's alright now, everything is settle. I guess that how relationship is when 2 persons are trying to get along, many problems come and go.

I'm feeling quite sleepy right now, but I still have training to do later! Besides, I got some secrets of mine to talk about so I will let it out this weekend! =D

Ciao!

Twisted Fate

Life is a complication, too many puzzles, too many obstacles, too many thoughts and decisions, and too many troubles. I wish I don't have to face all these and just live a simple life. I wish for a life that is peaceful, love, and nothing else to bother. I just wanna walk through my life with the fullest happiness, and joy.

Does God destined all these for me? Or is it just my Fate? Is it all planned? I do not know. There are many things I don't and can't see what is in the future, thus the ending is an unknown. My life is in my hand and I live the way I want and how I want, but what comes into my way of life is myself I guess because it is me who make the decision in every single step I take.

There are mistakes and beautiful achievements I made, some were tears and joy. But nevertheless, it was all my best shot and effort. My fate is twisted sometimes because they don't seem to turn out the way I've expected and planned. It disappoints me, and I get upset. Do I give up? I don't, but yet I still keep on trying and give my best shot. But when it's too much, determination is loss, and it's not worth it, do I still stand in the fight over nothing? Give up? Done? I guess not, I still give myself that little hope and wish it would be alright. Some say I'm being silly and give in over something not worthwhile, is it because of my believe? I always because I can make a change, as long as I have the time, all the time I need. It may take awhile or longer, but I know somehow I will make it.

Fate is twisted, but yet I'm not twisted. I will fall if trouble comes, but on second thought I gotta live my life and I won't give up my pursue of happiness.

God, please save me...